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Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:36 am
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Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 10:17 pm
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Posted: Mon Dec 24, 2007 5:32 pm
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Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 2:56 pm
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I liked the Very Secret Diaries...although they did get predictable after the first two. (If Aragorn tries anything with Frodo, Sam will kill him. Nyuk nyuk.) Shame on Elrond, stretching out the purple dress...
Abby's fanfic w/Wendy: It's not finished, evidently, and still looks like it's in the polishing stage. Why is Hook at Wendy's window? The narrative says he doesn't know what drew him there, but a more plausible reason such as threatening Wendy or kidnapping her or some other mischief would be better. Technically, it's always good to review your work, check spelling, and make sure the sentences are well-written. Revision is tedious for the writer, but a blessing for the reader. For instance, this sentence is really strange:
" The waight if her obligations hurt her and bared on her a tremendous burden, she felt trapped."
How about: "Her obligations weighed heavily on her. She felt trapped. It was a burden too much to bear."
Or something like that. Where are they going? Does Hook intend to get back at Peter by marrying Wendy? Will she become a pirate? Is her loyalty to Peter going to push her to trick Hook, or does the drawing signify the pirate captain is her big crush? Was her home life really so bleak that death was the best alternative? Little plot points and character motives need a bit more buildup. ^_^
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Posted: Fri Dec 28, 2007 11:57 am
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