Psychotic, suffering English substitute. I lawl'd.

[Pink Rain Today]

We were reading things by that free'd slave, Fredrick Douglas; she began talking about how she was abused by her first two husbands, physically and emotionally. The second was apparently
African, and he's homeless in Oakland nao. She also used to live in Africa, phailed at picking weeds [she was pulling crops], and lived in a mud hut.

The woman's ******** sixty, and white.

Her "policy": if you didn't apologize for ANYTHING she said you had to say "sorry" for, you were given a referral. Toward the end of class she attempted to dictate a homework assignment that didn't exist.  

[The Mighty Z-Rex]

That was her threat? A referral?

I always took it the second they offered. Don't be a punk. Stand up and tell her to ******** herself and take it. I always did and I graduated at sixteen with all As.

Edit: -- You should have called her a mud monkey and asked if she had AIDS or what, like the rest of the continent.  

[Pink Rain Today]

If I get a referral then I'm expelled from my second school to a thing called Village. We've spoken of this before. I can't do that it; far too easy, I don't belong there.

But on her "policy": I don't apologize unless I MEAN it. ******** 'er.  

[The Mighty Z-Rex]

You think too far ahead.  

[Zealous Blue]

I once had this substitute in Journalism, rite?

And he was like 5'4" and looked a lot like Hitler. Mustache and everything.

So he tells us that he's our substitute, and to work on our yearbook, sits down, PULLS OUT A DICTIONARY AND START TO ******** READ IT.

He read the dictionary the whole period.  

[Killer Zeit]

There's this kid who goes to our school who was Homecoming King, and he's alright looking, but he has an older brother who's old enough to be a substitute, but in his early 20s.

He's pretty handsome. So when he substitutes he chills out at the desk and does whatever and all the girls are like, "TEEHEE, TEEHEE, MR. VANSMAALEN, TEEHEE!"



Or... Mr. Ellis, who is possibly the most awesome bald guy in the world.
Oh, I forgot we were talking about horrible subs.


One time, we had this OLD, decrepit Chinese lady who's a super genius at math, but we had her for English and could barely understand her. She gave 27 people detentions for not responding to her out loud when she asked a hypothetical question.  

[Pink Rain Today]

Dude, Zeit! There's this hot sub at my old school, and he has an AMAZING alternative band, augh.

Audrye Sessions, if yer ever bored. ;D