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A gathering of poetic people who help each other grow in their poetic ablilites. 

Tags: poetry, writing, poem 

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missRENIZZLE

PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 3:13 pm
I asked you a simple question that held so much meaning.
And you responded with love as the base of your feelings.
You told me you loved and would do anything for me.
I smiled a true smile for once is a very long time.
But I could not help but think can we truly be?

You have done so much for me so far.
Yet, you refuse to let me do things for you all.
Simply giving me an answer that made my heart shatter.
“You don’t have to, because I love you too much” was your tear dropping response.
Your voice was the only thing I heard beyond all the clatter.

I give a great big sigh, knowing you will not give up so easily.
I ask you things of such extreme nature yet you still answer me nonchalantly.
Do you trust me so much with your life and you are willing to tell me your fairy-tale?
I wish I could be like you and just let myself free.
You flew up to cloud nine and asked me to follow, “But I can’t” I gave back in a wail.

My world grew cold as realization set in.
If I could not follow, for us, this would be the end.
Tears started dropping as I sank down on my knees.
“But I just can’t”, the rain was falling now and it was official.
I had finally hit rock bottom for you and asking you to help me was my plea.

A heart-warming smile was given to me and I felt your hand touch my cheek.
I looked up at you and my world was no longer so bleak.
You gave me a hand and you said to me, “Yes, you can”.
The feeling of lift came over me and I could no longer feel the weight of the world.
I knew that I would not need to challenge anything on my own ever again.  
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 12:32 pm
I like that you made a poem out of a story
I see a story in it
Good work

I think the rhyming is pretty wierd, I don't know why but i noticed it while reading
It isn't bad just... different but I like that wink  

Dark Angel Videl
Captain


missRENIZZLE

PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 7:21 pm
Dark Angel Videl
I like that you made a poem out of a story
I see a story in it
Good work

I think the rhyming is pretty wierd, I don't know why but i noticed it while reading
It isn't bad just... different but I like that wink

Thanks for the comment. I know the pattern is different. I wanted to play around with it so I choose an AABCB pattern.  
PostPosted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 6:24 pm
i like it yes its different but i like it all as well smile  

poetgeek


afinaruri

PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 10:58 pm
I really like it.  
PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 2:04 am
that is amazing! keep up the good work!  

Broken_Angel_xXx

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Memories [old poems have been moved here]

 
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