Otu-chan's Scrapped Writings

[Otulissa]

Hi, here is where I might post some of my old writings. I call them "scrapped," because I feel like they should be thrown out...but can't bear to part with them. I have poems from 2000, even... xD;; Ancient poems.

Well, feel free to give constructive criticism and comments! (Even though I probably will not edit these writings; they are pretty much 'scrapped.')  

[Otulissa]

Glistening Snow

The snow falls,
the sun is gone,
the world is endless.
It's as if the world were a diamond,
so glistening and clear.
Dark and endless,
surprisingly spooky,
even though the world is as
pretty and beautiful as a jewel.
Its amazing beauty is so remarkable,
so ethereal,
that all are afraid to reach out and touch it...
for fear that the shimmering gems
will fade away into nothingness.

(~Otulissa

written in 2002)  

[gamin247]

It's a good poem. I would advice maybe separating some of the lines into passages to make it sound better and organized. Awsome poem though, again.  

[Otulissa]

Thanks! I probably won't change it though... it was written in 2002...  

[gamin247]

I get what your saying, no one likes to chance old work.  

[Otulissa]

Yeah! xD I want to be able to look back and see how I improved over time.. So I don't really want to edit it now.  

[SunnyNights]

nicee! <3 the poem  

[Otulissa]

Thanks  

[Otulissa]

Fantasy Terrors

The vast, craggy landscape
appears before my eyes…
and the thick, foggy
scent of old ashes drifts through the
dusty air.
I hear a loud rustling
and pumping
of muscular wings
and I turn my head to the skies.
I gasp and then cower in
utter fear
for I have just glimpsed
the face of a
terrifying,
ice blue-colored dragon
with claws as black as
obsidian and
teeth as white as ivory.
Its eyes gleam devilishly
and morphs color
and shape like something
from a scary horror story.
The dragon stares down at me—
its gaze unwavering.
I let out a scream…
but no sound comes out.


-------------------------------------------

That was just a random poem I found that I wrote a long time ago. I am not sure when...probably one or two years ago? Anyways, it was dated 2007. So...one year ago. XD;; You can critique it if you like, but I won't be editing/revising it -- this is one of those old scraps that I don't want to change. I would like to look back in the future and be like: "Wow, that's actually really not that bad..." without seeing all these changes.  

[Irishroseh]

It's very descriptive! But some parts sound a little choppy.
Oh well, it's still good. :]]  

[Otulissa]

Yeah... xD;; I guess I went a bit crazy chopping up my free-verse lines. But that's why I like free-verse best. ^_^ You can have the most fun choosing the lines and such.  

[Otulissa]

These are some old haikus and senryus I wrote from 2004:

the wind caresses
my hair thoughtfully, I say:
the wind shall survive

My paintbrush glides across
White rice paper as graceful
As a hummingbird

darkness everywhere
cold rock surrounds me body
the cave is frightful

I turn the nifty page
The excitement rushes me
I read and then write