Question....

[Veda64]

Hey everyone. I just wanna know. And if you could help me that would be great. How would you ask your dad if you could go meet a person you met online. In a couple of weeks I'm going to visit my Uncle and I have a friend who lives down in that City. My dad is quite a serious person when it comes to my friends I only know online and especially when it's a girl... because of age difference. Well I'm 17 and she's 15 so it shouldn't be too big of a deal. But I'm scared to ask him if it would be ok to meet her because I don't know how he'll respond. So I'm hoping you all could give me some help with this. blaugh  

[Reyvatiel Misha]

This is kind of tough, but I think I know a good way to handle it.

First of all, points to remember when meeting people from online, for your personal safety and theirs:

- Meet in a public place (for obvious reasons)
- Both of you should not be alone, I'm not so sure if bringing your uncle along would be the best idea though, unless you really don't know anyone else.

I think if you explain to your dad that even though she's a girl and younger than you, that it's probably more of a stretch for her parents to allow her to meet you.

You need to tell him that she's an important friend to you and that if you could have the chance to be friends with her for real instead of just online, how happy it would make you.

Focus on positive reasons, and make sure that you feel like negotiating. If you really want to make it happen, and he says no, ask why. If you're not satisfied with that response and can think of a reason why that answer isn't very valid, make sure you communicate that.

The thing I've found when becoming not afraid of negotiating with parents is that the worst they (or anyone) can say is no. So go for it~!


I'm not a parent myself, but my thinking lays on both sides of the spectrum teenager and adult. Mainly the reason why parents are concerned about you meeting people from online is because "you never know", so if you DO know, it's always good to bring that up too. Have you seen pictures? webcam? voice chat? How long have you been talking? Then tell your dad those things.

It's too hard for someone to 'keep up an act' for very long. Eventually talking online, people begin to trust you enough and want to be good, serious friends with you, so if they've been messing with you, eventually they're going to confess those things and apologize. (been there, done that.)


If I was still 17, I'd probably tell you to ignore your dad, go to your uncle's, and just ask him. . . that's such an evil plot though. . . and could get your uncle in trouble.

I hope you're able to compile all of these thoughts into a strong, valid argument. Perhaps there's other viewpoints that may arise as well. . .

GOOD LUCK~!
 

[Veda64]

Thanks Misha. You bring up so many good points. I've shown her my picture. And she really wants to meet me. She is going to ask her dad if she can upload her picture onto her profile on mine and my girlfriend's website. I got a few more weeks until I go down there so I'll give it some time and thought on how I'll appoach this.

She and I have been good friends since November of last year. And our relationship is that of a brother and sister. I actually call her sis and she actually calls me bro/Nii-san. Hehe. Another problem though is her boyfriend is the jealous type.

What I can do is probably get my cousin to come with me and meet with her. My cousin is a year older than me so it would be more of a conventional meeting of teenagers so it wouldn't look awkward.

I'll do my best Misha thanks for the support. You're a really wise woman. blaugh  

[Reyvatiel Misha]

It makes it even better that you already have a girlfriend of your own and also have a clearly defined platonic relationship with this friend.

I think it would be good if your cousin would go, because then it doesn't seem threatening. Even if her boyfriend is a jealous type, maybe you should meet him too?

It's a little unfortunate that your own girlfriend probably wouldn't be able to go with you, but I'm sure if you mention something really nice about your girlfriend, it should probably help her boyfriend to see that you're seriously not interested in her.

With a set up like this, you both have your own support, yet nothing seems too suspicious either way.

Meeting people online is an awkward situation in itself. The way I met a friend from online was by attending the same anime convention, but I've heard many advice from other people so far.

I hope everything works out well in the end. ^^