Welcome to Gaia! ::

Twilight - The Book, by Stephenie Meyer

Back to Guilds

 

 

Reply Twilight-Related Fanfiction
Original Fanfic... Need help!

Quick Reply

Enter both words below, separated by a space:

Can't read the text? Click here

Submit

How did you feel about this?
  Liked it!
  LOVED it!
  Meh...
  You suck!
View Results

Chocovash3

PostPosted: Fri May 23, 2008 3:44 am


I wrote this using my phone while I was bored at Borders. My phone has a small keyboard (Treo 750) so I did this in about an hour... I showed it to my friend and she fixed a bunch of errors, but I'd love to have some Twilight perspective. It's about the awakening of a new vampire in modern LA. There is a lot more to this story that I will get to eventually, but this is the first 'chapter', Awakening. PLEASE give me some feedback :3 Even if you didn't like it, just tell me why!


Awakening

The most overpowering feeling abruptly surged through my writhing body. I was suddenly aware of the overpowering thirst that now controlled me, beckoning me like a siren to feed on the flesh of humans and to drink my fill of blood. My eyes shot open and my senses instantly honed onto a nearby human, the presence distinctly male. Without a thought, my body rose to the call for blood.

A few feet away in this darkened alley I had awakened in, a man no more than thirty or forty was nestled amongst some crumbled newspapers, claiming his place next to a vent blowing hot, moist air. I could clearly make out every detail of his wrinkled face, the worn clothes clearly needing to be cleaned as the man reeked of the scent of musk and filth. Yet, I was drawn to this poor man, so pitifully hunched in his misery. Without so much as two strides, I cleared the distance between us until I could see the pale blue of his eyes and before he could so much as blink, I bit fiercely at the exposed skin of his neck. He didn't have a chance to move within my grasp, and before I could realize what I was doing, the homeless man was dead, drained of all his delicious essence.

As I released the lifeless corpse from the vice like grip of my jaws, that overwhelming urge to feed quickly faded to a more tolerable level. I wiped my lips, finding them cold as I settled into a resting position next to the man I had just killed.

Where was I? Who am I? What am I?! I chased my reclusive memory with desperation. Slowly, the information siphoned through my brain and it was then that I remembered the pain...

Some… thing had come at me, seemingly out of nowhere, and suddenly I felt as though my left arm was engulfed in flame. I looked in sheer terror into the crimson eyes of my attacker, a man not much older than myself, yet not a man at all. Before I could focus long enough to shout, let alone fight back, I fell to the damp ground of the back alley. My head hurt now, but it was nothing compared to the intense pain racing through my arm. The bite marks were clear now, and it seemed as though I had lost a lot of blood. The world shifted and started to fade.

The agony was unbearable as I struggled to keep my eyelids open. Then I saw the cause of the attacker’s sudden dismissal. Another figure stood at the end of the alley, the red-eyed man looking intently at him. I frantically pushed my palm against the unbearable pain of the wound but to no avail; the burning flowed within and I shook violently as every nerve seemed to explode within me. I opened my eyes again to discover both my attacker and savior had vanished. This did not comfort me as the raging fire made its way to my chest, blinding the rest of my senses. I was falling into an eternal abyss of darkness and pain…

I spasmed as the pain grew even more intense, devouring any coherent thought I could muster up and torturing deep into my soul. I wanted to die, but as each passing second of agony grew longer, I knew that I was not going to be given any mercy. I would not be able to escape this hell I had been thrust into, death was no escape.

'What was happening?'
was my last conscious memory.

I could recall sounds that my convulsing mind couldn't decipher at the time... Hazy images blurred together, melting into a swirl of color and light. I shivered as I thought about how long I had been left here. But after an eternity of torment, my newly honed eyes opened and absorbed the world again.

The rest of my memory had also gradually started to return. I remembered performing under the bright spot lights on a small stage in the last night of my human life.

It was there I belonged: creating beautiful melodies for the world to hear.

My fingers would dance across my saxophone, creating a world of pure imagination for the audience. I could make everyone feel as I felt, make them see the notes dancing in the air while I clutched the brilliant metal instrument in my arms.

I was a musician, yes, and I cared less for money than I did for my art, as any artist should. I had a fair share of gigs lined up, and I never disappointed. I didn’t care about being famous or anything like that, just that I could make people feel… better.

I was also young, brimming with testosterone and making the ladies swoon left and right. I had just turned 22 a few months prior to that night and every day that I wasn't making sweet music, I had been chasing beautiful women. I had been growing my hair out lately, and they seemed to love it. I was anything but bulky, having a tall frame but being far too narrow. Girls seemed to relate to my sensitivity, and were marveled by just how honest I could be.

Of course, I was anything but innocent. It took me a long time before I finally gave in to the temptation to have sex, but once I did, it came so easily to me. My partners didn’t seem to mind, despite my truth telling. I sensed their pity for my after they discover my lack of lasting relationships, but I get by with what I can.

Music and women... My two passions that I swore would follow me to my grave... And beyond, it would seem.

But now there was a new addition: blood. The sudden desire for another victim began to distract me away from my thoughts, but I quickly decided that I had to remember the undeniable truth first.

I tried to ponder about whether or not anyone would notice my disappearance, the man who played such awe inspiring music but I soon realized that I was undoubtedly alone. Even amidst the crowds and the girls I took home each night, I was alone. Always alone.

This didn't bother me as much as I thought it would because in this new life, I needed the solitary lifestyle to survive; to thrive. I couldn’t help but glance down at the motionless form of the homeless man beside me. The emptiness in his eyes revealed to me my true nature. I held my boney, pale hands before my eyes and slowly turned them over. 'So this is what its like... To be a vampire.'

I was disgusted and relieved at the same time. I had not been big on blood in my previous life, though I came to see it as a human limitation, one easily surpassed. I also couldn’t help but bitterly laugh at the dead man beside me, my only thought for him being that ‘at least it wasn't me‘.

I turned my head up to gaze at the nearly translucent stars, so covered up in smog it was rare to even be able to realize they were there.

This is LA. The only place you'd find stars would be on a movie set.

I closed my eyes and relaxed my tensed muscles, embracing the future that I would soon create.

To be continued...
PostPosted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 9:10 am


It is very good and very interesting I like it a lot keep it up! biggrin


Kari Twilight Mist


Shameless Bibliophile

Reply
Twilight-Related Fanfiction

 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum