[PRP] Two sides of the Same Coin [END]

[Daffupanda]

-- AIM Rp log between Nili'jicho (Maua) and Tau (Panu panu) ((DFA and Kisoni))

Afternoon naps were something Nili was rather fond of; now that he no longer needed to trouble himself with helping out his parents with teaching the new cubs (not like he'd been of much help to start with - Nili lacked the patience and was simply not made to be a teacher), he had time to indulge himself in such guilty pleasure.

So thus, the small male did just that; he was currently laying lazily against the trunk of a tree, his head placed over crossed paw, semi-closed eyes regarding the beach beyond the border of the jungle. All was... okay in the world. At least, most everything, as far as he was concerned; despite the fact he still found himself pondering Sewti's strange attitude, he was rather... inexplicably pleased with her presence in the Kizaa territory. It offered him something to puzzle out and do in his... er, free time.

"Hmmm..." the humming noise as offered to the plants around him, almost a tune yet not quite as he wondered where his brother and Kapuki were, and if they'd made up; knowing the both of them though, that was not... particularly likely, "********," he murmured to a random flower, that seemed to nod in agreement as it swayed in the mild wind.

As if the very thought had summoned him, the newly-made king prowled towards the den. 'Prowled', though used somewhat incorrectly, was the only verb that truely described the way that the male moved at this moment; head down, fur on end and glowering at anything that got in his way. His steps were stiff and strong, and there was a bit of blood--his own- marked from a cut on his cheek.

Until he stopped long enough to feel the sting, he hadn't even realized she'd drawn blood. Stupid, bloody females... He needed Sewtie. She was the only woman he'd met, other than his mother, that wasn't a rampaging b***h.

Rather than say anything to Nili, whom he was mad at by association, the young leader just chose a rock to flop onto and grunted.

Indeed; as if by mere thought, his brother appeared out of the metaphorical blue. Common sense told Nili to stay put and not approach him, for the larger male's form seemed to radiate darkness to his surroundings, but then again, when had Nili ever listened to his common sense when it came to such situations? Rarely, if ever, was the answer.

"Hmm... my, my, don't you look like you could turn milk sour; what the bloody hell happened to you anyhow?" it was mostly a rethorical question; if the scratch on his brother's cheek was any indication, Nili was sure he knew 'Kapuki' had happened to his brother, however, being a glutton for punishment, he felt the need to ask regardless. Shifting his weight so he was still laying against the tree, but now looking at Panu as he flopped on the rock, the smaller male

arched a brow, "What the hell is your problem anyhow," a pause and a sniff, "Both your problems," he, unlike the pair, had figured it all mostly out, long, long back. In fact, that had been the reason he'd bitched, growled and snapped at Sewti upon meeting her. Learning it wasn't anything LIKE that, had soothed Nili into the spectator role once more.

For a moment Panu thought to just snap at him or else say nothing. Of those two options, the second was a far better course.... unfortunetly, he knew himself too well for that. Not only could he not keep his mouth shut, but holding it in much longer would only make it that much worse in the end.

Rather than allow his first angry response to come out, though, he visibly bit his tongue and controlled his response. One paw rose to rub the bridge of his nose as he considered. "That obvious, is it?"

His free paw waved away the question, "No, don't answer that. ... *sigh* I attempted to apologize, she bit my head off."

"Could smell it a mile away," came the mild, unamsed snort from Nili as he turned his head to look back at the beach; he knew his brother was seething inside and controlling his anger. Somehow, looking away from him was meant to... offer him a small bit of privacy during their conversation, "I knew this would happen; that's why I snapped at Sewti. That's why I offered her a colorful piece of my mind. Because I knew this'd happen," of course, the fact the girl in question rather than be offended had been horribly amused by the notion was something the young male kept to himself for the time being. Most of the pride usualy took a step back when he snapped and bitched, even despite the fact it was visible he was all bark and no bite. Sewti, however, had not only not taken a step back, but had taken a step forward, smiled and thought it all 'amusing'. What the hell.

"It's no wonder she did," he drawled, "But knowing you... you probably don't understand why, do you?" turning his blue eyed gaze towards Panu again, he arched a brow, as if in question, "I know why she snapped; she's snapped for the same reason i tried to bite that girl's head off," a pause, his eyes narrowed just a tad, "Are you... aware of the implications..." a pause, then he stopped, as if carefuly picking out words, "Are you aware how wrong it looks from her perspective? Are you aware she cried when you left? That she looked high and low for you? And then... then you come back with a new girl; a very pretty new girl, by the way... I love her markings, such lovely, delicate-" he paused again, having noticed he was derailing, "Anyhow, you came back with a new girl, as if you'd forgoten Kapuki, as if... you'd replaced her. Knowing Kapuki, she feels horribly threatened, even if she's in denial. Which she is, by the way."  

[Daffupanda]

"You did what?" The question was an exasperated one, low and not really meant to be answered, when Maua mentioned what he'd said to Sewtie. Panu rolled his eyes, attempting ot to gag. His brother's words only riled him further, and once more he had to fight to control himself.

After a moment, Panu closed his eyes. Breath... just breathe... He told himself. Getting angry and frustrated was not helping this situation. It didn't help with Kapuki, it would help even less with his bitchy 'brother'. Finally, he opened his eyes again, and fastened them on his brothers.

"This, Nili, is what I do not understand. And stop--" He held up a paw. His voice was calm and steady, and low. A bare whisper of a voice that forced you to concentrate on it if you wanted to hear it. "--do not interrupt me on this. Just. Listen. ....

"You two are hypocrits. Complete and utter hypocrits. How long, Nili, have you spent preaching to me that you and Kapuki are just friends? How long did she do the same? And yet you knew, as I know, that I had a crush on her. And you must see, don't you, how much it does not look like mere friendship between the two of you? It does have lovely... implications when you two speak of one another, and defend one another all the time, and never see that the other does any wrong."

Panu paused a moment to let this sink in. Despite a mocking note to some of his words, his face was deadly serious; hard in a distinctly unamused, and very, very hurt sort of way. "Now I bring back a girl, who is naught more than a friend to me, and instead of listening to me and believing me--you both rush to the offensive. Obviously my claiming a friendship with her that parallels yours with Kapuki can't be true, and I am a monster for hurting Kapuki's feelings? Well I've had enough of it, Nili. Absolutely enough. If Kapuki cares as much as you imply she does, then she can bloody well climb down off her high horse and act like it. Otherwise, I will replace her."

"Snapped at her," came the blunt, honest words as Nili shifted again, turning his gaze towards the beach, "That has nothing to do with you though, seeing as how she explained herself to me in her own words and... ways, and she was nothing but polite. That's not the point though; the point is that I know what's going on in Kapuki's mind and YOU do not," watching the way his brother breathed in and out, trying to calm himself, was a small warning, but seeing as how he felt the need to give both him and Kapuki a push, so to say, he continued on, disregarding his own safety, for the time being.

His maw snapped shut though, as soon as Panu's paw was held up. A brow was arched, indication that the smaller male WOULD continue as soon as Panu was finished talking though.

"Are you quite done being a complete and utter moron, a*****e?" the words were likewise low, his eyes narrowed, "There was no way for me to know you had a crush on her; all you did was b***h about her. I only realised it the day you attacked me. And then you LEFT. It was /ME/ whom was left to comfort Kapuki; the girl was torn inside, and refused to even acknowledge the fact you exhisted, so in pain was she. It was ME whom convinced her that you cARED for her back, and it was ME whom suggested we look for you. Which we did, to no avail," a sniff was offered, "You know I'm a b***h, as well as I know. But do you honestly think I'd try to steal my brother's love from under his paws after realising how both sides felt?" he lifted his head up in the air then, "Sewti is diferent; we had no way of knowing what relationship YOU had with her. We'd not been aroudn with her. It's obvious now, to me anyhow, she feels nothing of the sort for you. However, getting that point across Kapuki's mind, taking into account she's in DENIAL of her own feelings will be a hard task. You showing up with a random female was like a slap across her face."

A sneer as he looked away, "What it looks like and what it is is diferent. I had no way of knowing your relationship with the girl because I had not SPOKEN to you of the matter, till SHE told me it was not that way. I have nothing but her words to go by, however, as much as it LOOKS like you two were lovers, I chose to believe her," his voice was low, "What will you pick to do? Believe what I'm telling you, or believe what your jelousy is telling you?" waving a paw, Nili, reclined himself back against the tree, "As far as I'm concerned... seeing as how Kapuki isn't going to yeild, it's your.... role, as a gentleman, to be patient, and play the good guy's role, as humiliating as that might because I for one, know you're full of bullshit when you claim you want to replace her. You SEETH at the idea of her being with me."

"Yes, I do," Panu replied with a bit of a hiss to his voice, "But just because you want something doesn't mean its best for you--OR whatever you're wanting."

Panu rolled his eyes, "And I've had quite enough of this, thank you very much. You can preach to me all day about not wanting her, or not having any idea about Sewti, but I'm frankly sick and tired of the fact that you and Kapuki are so ******** perfect in your own heads. YOUR s**t smells too, b***h-boy."

Panu glared down at his brother, but didn't resort to hitting him, at least. "Y'know what? I AM sorry I was such a little fool that I couldn't express myself any better when we were kids than by hitting you--but i'm not sorry FOR hitting you, and i'm never going to be. It felt good, and I'd really love to wring your neck right now.... but I won't."

Panu rolled his eyes, "It wouldn't make you stop being less of a self-righteous b***h, nor will it make Kapuki any easier to deal with. Just know this one, Nili: regardless of what I was when I was a kid, I know how to admit when I'm wrong. Yeah, I had a part in this, and I deserve a lot of what I'm getting--but there are reasons behind things I've done and said, and those reasons arn't just going to dissapear because I've apologized for them. If you're not willing to listen to what causes it... then maybe it would be best for all involved if you and I didn't speak except when we have to."

Panu sighed and looked at his brother. "I'd like to say I'd feel sorry about that, but I really wouldn't. Your highness drives me insane."

"No, it doesn't mean that. Many times it doesn't, however, it's driving me up the WALL watching the two of you obviously WANTING the same thing but not coming out forth and saying so!" there was no sneer in his voice, but rather, almost a hiss of desperation, "Why wouldn't she think I'm not perfect? What did YOU do to make her think of you of anything OTHER than a ******** a*****e? You insulted her, pushed and shoved her away and didn't want anything to do with her! To boot, you RAN AWAY from her!" this time however, acid dripped from his words, obviously recalling the days after the incident had happened.

"It was me left behind to keep the girl from wanting to kill herself! Of course she thinks I'm good! What have you done in the past?! Nothing! You can't expect to gain something without offering in return!" it was almost as if he were trying to rile a response, verbal or physical, whatever it might be, from his brother; he'd straightened up from his repose against the tree and was full out snapping at the air, "I'm not telling you to like ME. I'm not telling you to apologise to ME. I couldn't give a rat's a** what you think about ME. and I couldn't care less if you hit ME or if you're sorry about it or NOT! It's never BEEN about me, you bloody moron! Stop making excuses and be the man /I/ have never been!"

Mirrowing his bother, Nili paused to roll his eyes, "For the love of the muses; will you listen to yourself, Panu?" the words were whispered now, "You know what? You wanna know something amusing?" turning his eyes towards him, he let out a sigh, all his anger zapped away from the earlier outburst, "I know what your reasons are. I know what her reasons are too... I know them, and I don't have to listen to them. All I'm telling you... is that if you really want this, want her, you're going to have to be the mature one, even if both of you share the blame, which I know you do. So do I. But you are going to have to be the mature one here..." looking away again, he frowned, "I'm not asking you to like me. I don't need that. I know you're trying to be mature; proof is you've still not hit me. But... you really will have to be patient, if it's Kapuki you want to convince. Me, I don't need to be convinced."

"Oh good ******** god, SHE ENSLAVED ME you moron!" Panu growled, "What? I'm supposed to LIKE some pompous b***h claiming to own me at all hours? You only heard or listened to HER side of the story at all times, Nili; and dad went along with it as well!"

Panu stood up, practically seething, and glared down at his brother. "I NEVER felt right here in the first place, and being told I was supposed to be subserviant to some trumped up ocean b***h from another pride never helped, ok? YES, I liked her in the end, for the LITTLE i got to see of the real her--but you never heard what a verbally abusive b***h she could be when were alone, either. For your information I DID try with her."

He stopped when Nili began to whisper, frowning deeply at this point. Then he shook his head, "I understand what you're trying to say, Nili, ok? ... but I can't do that. Not because I'm incapable but because I can't and won't carry her. If i do that, I'll never respect her again. If she isn't willing to shut up and meet me half way, and treat me like a lion, instead of a pet that ran away.... then no. I can't. She does not own me, and she needs to learn that. And before you say it--I don't care if she understands that. She needs to act like it to my face."

He paused, looking away, "I may want her, but right now she's not what I need.. and I'm not what she needs. I need a partner. ..... and I have no idea what she needs, really, but if i have to debase myself and let her act a fool in order to be with her, its not a partner."  

[Daffupanda]

"Yet you like her, despite that," calm voiced, the answer was offered right back, "I'm not saying she's without fault. She's not. Neither are you, neither am I," looking away, the smaller male kept his gaze upon the calming ocean, "Amusing, how that works. You fell for her, even when she was being a b***h to you. And she fell for you, even when you were being a jerk right back at her. From what I can see, you've both seen the worst points of each other; isn't it high time you both see your GOOD points? They're there. I've seen them. You're helpful... you're protective, and when you're not being blinded by rage, you're patient and mature," the waves were calming, and had lulled Nili's voice down, "She's sweet, and has a whimsical personality. She's comforting, and she's understanding when she's not in utter denial. She's also forgiving."

He could have gone on and on about both of them; it was... amusing to him, now that he thought about it, really. Regardless it showed that beneath the bitchy exterior and his own ways (for he too admited he had his own faults), Nili liked them both very much, and had taken the time to actually see them both, for whom they were. Really see them, "Dad probably saw it before I ever did. S'why he went along with it. Mom probably saw it too; they probably saw what you and her still refuse to. It was never about being a servant, and it was never about possesing someone; it wasn't about whom belonged to who. That's a metaphorical use of the words. Dad's said that Mom was the Mother's gift to him. Doesn't that ring a bell in the choice of words?"

Finally turning back to face Panu, Nili frowned, "She doesn't think of you like a pet; the fact she's insanely jelous over Sewti should at least hint at the fact. She's not seen you like a 'pet' for a very long time. You're as stuck in the past as she is. Both of you are stuck in the past, because it's what you know. I don't know what both your problem is; are you afraid of thinking about eachother in any other way that ISN'T negative?" he let the words sink in before he turned his gaze to the sky, "Hmmm... well, that's your choice I suposse, but the fact you were willing to apologise is telling me a diferent story alltogether. You do.. what is best for you, and for the pride, however, do take heed; you are making a mistake. Even if I am not king, I am and will always be bluntly honest with you; that way of thinking is a mistake..."

"Being king doesn't mean you're right all the time," Panu muttered, more to himself than his brother. Ironically, it was that exact sort of statement that had given him that position in the first place, rather than regelating him to a more muscle-born position, like a guard. Also saying something in his favor was that though he turned his face from his brother, he did think about what was said.

Eventually Panu flung himself back down in the dirt and sighed, head laid upon his paws. He gave a groan, squeezing his eyes shut and hid his face from the world. It wasn't shame, it was frustration. Pure and simple frustration.

"No," he breathed, soft, his femenine side obviously showing; had anyone been listening in, they would have no doubt though him a girl at that moment, "No it does not. That's why you have me; to tell you that. That's why you have mom and dad, and that's why you're king in the first place. Because you know."

Silence filled the clearning as Panu flung himself on the ground. Nili listened to the silence for a long while before letting out a sigh, however, rather than reclining himself back against the tree like he had been, when his brother had arrived, he lifted himself from his spot and then slowly made his way to where Panu's form rested. Silently, he lowered his frame down so that his chin rested over his brother's flank, his body coming to curl down beside the larger male's one. And then, rather than talk, he closed his eyes and remain silent, because he knew that nothing else was left to be said.

"You're not much of a brother, Nili" Panu said softly, disproving his brother's own thoughts. The voice was barely audible, though, muffled as it was by sand and paw alike, "But you're okay for a sister."