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Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 5:41 pm
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I ask this to get to know people better and get a feel of this little community that we have here. I find that talking about your RL probs to people on the net helps immensly. You can talk about anything without worry of reprisal for your words, you know its confedential (as in i dout anyone you know IRL will find it) and often you can get some very helpfull advice on how to cope with your problem, wether it be, trouble with homwork, wanting to run away, to abuse at home.
Ill start. (ill try to keep a very long story short)
Ive been with my current partner for nearly 6 years. Hes a proffesional fisherman. About 4 years ago we had a car accident driving to Geelong that resulted in him developing epilepsy. Medication seemed to work, but then his alcoholisim became worse and the meds stopped working, however the side affects of the meds continued to do their part. His side affects became very severe, mood swings, aggresion, phisical violence, short and long term memory loss, lack of appatite, difficulty sleeping and difficulty controlling impulses. At this point he was having up to 4 seizures a week, as a fisherman whom stays out at sea for weeks at a time, this is severly dangerous. His older brother who fishes with him (the only 2 on their private cray boat), told him he couldnt come any more. That he needed to get in control before he could take him back to sea. My bf then hit the bottle and dope worse then ever. He spent around $300 a week on dope, and would drink till removed from the pub more nights then not. His mates all alcoholics were supportive of this lifstyle as Matt (my bf) was always buying rounds and dope for them. At this point i wasnt working so i could care for him, then the money ran out. He was still getting a small income from he and his brothers buisness, but the cost of hireing somone to replace Matt on the boat took away nearly all his income. At this point he started to beat up on me. I only stayed because i knew that somwhere in his head, behind all the drugs, alcohol and medication was the man i loved. I was convinced he'd come back to me.
Two years later we got on the list for a brain surgury prosidure to remove the damaged brain tissue and hopfully stop the seizures. It began with a two week stay at the Austin Hospital Melb. he got wired up to an EEG (monitors electricity in your brain) and was put in a lazyboy type chair and watched on video by trained neurologists 24/7. The idea was, that when a seizure happend they would run in, inject him with a substance that would flush through to where the 'sparks' in his brain were and stay there so when he was rushed down for a MRI they could see exactly where the sourse was, and presuming the EEG and the phisical movemtns he made during the seizure which are recorded on video all point to the one spot in the brain, they operate. Matt was one of the lucky 2% of the population of epileptics who fitted in this small persentage. A week later he was having brain surgury.
That was two years ago.
Matt has had only 8 seizures since then, an amazingly small number and all related to him having a binge drink within a week before it. He is still on medication and has all the side affects, just not as severe. He still drinks even though the doctors have warned that if he continues he stand a very high chance of the sezures returning as they were before. He has little to no memory of before the operation.
I know now that the Matt i fell in love with 6 years ago is gone. One day he may grow up, but considering he is now 37, its a slim chance, and at 25 myself, i dont want to wait.
When i finish out the year at the school i currently work at, i am going back home to my parents place. Im going to TAFE to study vet nursing and to try and put the pieces of my life back together. I still love Matt and always will, but i cant wait the rest of my life for him to grow up. Hes a good man, just having a tough ride.
Matt and I at Castle Cove, not far from where we live.
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Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 10:55 pm
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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 12:05 am
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Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 2:19 am
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Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 10:41 pm
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Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 11:09 pm
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Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 11:25 pm
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Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 4:57 am
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Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 8:32 pm
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My most recent story of me: I am recently single and loving it and here is why....
I'm OLD guys, 42, and been married for 22 of those years. For years I thought I was happy until I started suffering so badly from exhaustion, weakness, sleeplessness and heart palpitations. I couldnt sleep and thought, honestly, that I was dying. I went to the doc and told him all this and after heaps of tests it came back that I was SERIOUSLY anaemic and vitamin D deficient. I was treated for 3 years and got back to almost normal but then I crashed and was diagnosed with major depression. My husband then took to having tantrums about how he was suffering and how hard it was on him. I had taken to sleeping alone as he snores something terrible and I couldnt sleep and it was driving me round the twist - you can only go so long without sleep and I was going 3-5 days at a time and working full time and raising 3 boys. But somehow it was all about him - I was on sleeping tablets, anti depressants, anti anxiety, blood pressure and migraine meds and he was throwing tanties cause he wasn't getting any!
well that's not true! I found out after I had a depressive episode and started thinking about the worst way to end it........
I took a coupla pills - not too many, but I wanted rest and peace. I woke up battered and bruised and feeling suicidal. I went to the doctor and he examined me and said I had every sign of DATE RAPE. He was raping me while I was under the influence of all the drugs I was taking to feel better!
I thought I could cope - I had 3 boys to care for, but then my eldest started showing signs of depression and insomnia - I had to get out.
So here I am - a single Mum in Sydney trying to find health and healing for me and my beautiful boys.
one story - one nearly happy ending *hugz*
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