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 Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 9:13 pm
This was a quatrain I was asked to make in English class a month or so ago; as a look into how Shakespeare wrote all or most of his plays.
I'm not "emo" or any stereotype you may call me. The idea or theme of the quatrain my teacher had limited me to were love and violence. Originally I was supposed to do this with three others, but they didn't help much when coming up with an idea. I then decided to take matters into my own hands; combine love and violence together somehow, and this is what I got. After one lame hour of brain-dead-ness.
I had just murdered a man of treason;
This one man, had left a love far behind.
No one else knows why, but there's a reason
For he broke the contract that he had signed.
Upon thy killing of a man I loved,
Thoughts of him started streaming to my mind.
I then remembered what he had once dubbed,
"Like stars, we may not be perfectly aligned."
This memory of time seemed very long.
So long, that I realized what I'd just done.
Thereafter, my heart told me it was wrong
To kill this love for only me or none.
My mind then turned blank as I pondered on;
Woke up later, and was completely gone.
And yes... I know that some of you may say that "aligned" does not count as "one word", but there are exceptions in quatrains, if I remember well ^_^;
You may reap whatever you have to say upon it, but I thought it'd be kinda nice to share smile . I was critiqued by my school's guidance counselor when I showed her it, and she pointed out that I should have submitted this to my school's literary magazine. I chose not to, knowing how most always have emo poems in there anyway ._. You may now post your opinions and views upon it.
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 8:08 am
I'm more a free style than structure person, though I will still give my thoughts.
The meaning is still there, undisturbed by structure, which makes it just plain awesome. I really love how you managed to mesh both structure and beauty into this poem, in spite of what you say was a "brain-dead-ness".
Wait...isn't aligned just one word? I thought it was.
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 8:36 pm
Dameon_Patron_of_Healing I'm more a free style than structure person, though I will still give my thoughts. The meaning is still there, undisturbed by structure, which makes it just plain awesome. I really love how you managed to mesh both structure and beauty into this poem, in spite of what you say was a "brain-dead-ness". Wait...isn't aligned just one word? I thought it was. Wait, there's structure and beauty in this poem? How ?_? I was running on coffee (decaf), soda (Coca Cola/Sprite/Mug Root Beer mix) and donuts (Everything but jelly, the jelly kind got stolen -_- ). The word aligned was fought about in my class, if it was a one-syllable or a two-syllabled. We never really figured it out, so I don't know :/
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Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 4:56 pm
The Evil Lord Sunday Dameon_Patron_of_Healing I'm more a free style than structure person, though I will still give my thoughts. The meaning is still there, undisturbed by structure, which makes it just plain awesome. I really love how you managed to mesh both structure and beauty into this poem, in spite of what you say was a "brain-dead-ness". Wait...isn't aligned just one word? I thought it was. Wait, there's structure and beauty in this poem? How ?_? I was running on coffee (decaf), soda (Coca Cola/Sprite/Mug Root Beer mix) and donuts (Everything but jelly, the jelly kind got stolen -_- ). The word aligned was fought about in my class, if it was a one-syllable or a two-syllabled. We never really figured it out, so I don't know :/ I say structure because you tried to remain within the rules of a quatrain. -shrugs- Though I forget the rules, I indeed found beauty within your poem. whee I asked my co-workers who are tutors about the word "aligned." They all agreed it was one word.
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Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 8:32 pm
Dameon_Patron_of_Healing The Evil Lord Sunday Dameon_Patron_of_Healing I'm more a free style than structure person, though I will still give my thoughts. The meaning is still there, undisturbed by structure, which makes it just plain awesome. I really love how you managed to mesh both structure and beauty into this poem, in spite of what you say was a "brain-dead-ness". Wait...isn't aligned just one word? I thought it was. Wait, there's structure and beauty in this poem? How ?_? I was running on coffee (decaf), soda (Coca Cola/Sprite/Mug Root Beer mix) and donuts (Everything but jelly, the jelly kind got stolen -_- ). The word aligned was fought about in my class, if it was a one-syllable or a two-syllabled. We never really figured it out, so I don't know :/ I say structure because you tried to remain within the rules of a quatrain. -shrugs- Though I forget the rules, I indeed found beauty within your poem. whee I asked my co-workers who are tutors about the word "aligned." They all agreed it was one word. I don't remember much, but if I'm correct, a quatrain has something to do with rhyming, 10 syllables in very line, and a couplet at the end; I think. And "aligned" is one syllable? That means my poem then does fit in the rules of quatrains whee
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