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 Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 5:58 am
Zaaki A good man as i hope u are seeking, normally don't date. I guess their parrents go and find someone for them! I mean, what good person would go on dating? In dating u can get a jerk 3nodding I totally agree, a good man wouldn't date. It's like testing girls to see who's the best! I really see it that way!
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Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 12:58 pm
Dating is forbidden because of this for Muslims?! Mini_Angel_1994 hmmmmmmf, I really don't believe that dating will make you know the guy better. I mean, most of guys and girls dating right now is about saticfying themselves.
Actually, not in all cases. Some do, trust me, I've seen plenty of that. But I think it's unfair to say that dating is ALL what you claim it to be.
From what I see, people date because they feel a special bond and want to know each other better. Some people do it for satisfaction, others for revenge, because one has nothing better to do, is lonely, wants to be accepted and hopefully loved...there's many reasons why a person dates. It's an individual choice. Mini_Angel_1994 It's more safe to merry someone you know, I know.
How do you get to know someone without supervised interaction and from what you hear from others? Ratri is right. you're not going to get the entire picture unless you see it from all perspectives.
For example, I knew a guy that was an alcoholic. But he managed to hide it very well, and it was only recently that I discovered it. He was a very well known guy and accepted by mothers and families in the local church. He was going to marry this girl. She had only met him by parents, and was only allowed to see him with the prescence of her parents. Nobody knew this. I hung out with him a lot, and once I had to drive him home. It was when I got him to his house and helped him in that I discovered that he was a closet alcoholic. Nobody would have been able to discover it elsewhere. I'm from outside the church, and nobody knew, except for maybe his best friend that was sworn to secrecy. She would have married an alcoholic if I wasn't there. She probably would have been able to see that if she was actually allowed to interact without parental supervision...that's how much I hung around him. He was a good buddy of mine. We had grown up together, and neither of us were sexually active with each other. I was hoping that he would marry this girl until I discovered this by accident. Mini_Angel_1994 You are woman who works at an office, and you're successful, surely someone will come and propose, as you are a woman who is looking for sucess, and prosperity. I personally wouldn't marry a guy whom I don't know. It's often that when you ask about someone, you'll ask about how faithful he is. Does he go to Jum'a prayer, does he fast at Ramadan?
Going to these prayers does not make a man good if he is not good inside. Look at religious people who molest little children. Look at fathers who claim to be spiritual as they beat their wives? How is this an honest measure of faithfulness?
Mini_Angel_1994 I mean, when you're father's reputation is very good, my father is a successful guy, he works hard and he loves people. He's kind. Then surely, someone would like to marry this guy's daughter, because he must've raised his daughter well.
My father's reputation shouldn't matter as much as how well I've established a reputation. There have been fathers that are abusive that still have kids that grow up great. there are fathers who abandon their families for pleasures that have kids that do not follow their father's footsteps.Mini_Angel_1994 And that rarely happens, someone you don't know won't propose, unless he works with you, or knows your father, or you live in the same neighbourhood. I'm telling you that Allah is merciful enough to answer your prayers. So it's important for a girl to pray that Allah will send the proper guy.
I don't know of anyone who randomly proposes to people. People tend to know each other very well by the time they decide that they are going to marry.
And if you don't know the mind of your god, how will you know that he sent the proper guy, if you only have a unsure conclusion of what the guy will be?
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Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2008 11:37 am
Ok, there's what is so called ( estekhara prayer ). In this prayer, you seek guidiance from Allah, and Allah will help you, by either a dream, or you won't feel comfortable, or something will happen and it will blow up ( If it's not good). But if it's good, you may have a good dream, if not, everything will just go fine.
As I said Islam is like, a whole lifestyle, men should bond with each other, and Prophet Muhammad made the relationship between muslims like brotherhood and sisterhood. And people know each other. Frankly, if there's a bar near, you can ask people next, does he drink? And if you're sure that Allah will guide you, then he will. And I'm telling you, you won't feel comfortable with the person if he's stupid. Talk to him, try to get facts out of him. Without having to date. I said when someone proposes, you're going to talk to him, look into each other, and get to know him better. As if you're dating but letting the whole world know that you're going to get married. Of course, without forbidden kind of relationship, or getting out alone.
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Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2008 1:02 pm
Mini_Angel_1994 Ok, there's what is so called ( estekhara prayer ). In this prayer, you seek guidiance from Allah, and Allah will help you, by either a dream, or you won't feel comfortable, or something will happen and it will blow up ( If it's not good). But if it's good, you may have a good dream, if not, everything will just go fine. is there evidence that this actually works and it's not like some superstitious nonsenses? Mini_Angel_1994 As I said Islam is like, a whole lifestyle, men should bond with each other, and Prophet Muhammad made the relationship between muslims like brotherhood and sisterhood. And there can't be more than that? I find that to be very depriving. I get many good ideas from talking with guys and girls. Mini_Angel_1994 Frankly, if there's a bar near, you can ask people next, does he drink? If you're going to a bar, it usually means that you're going to have a drink or more and probably a one night stand for a guy if he's really lucky. Smart women don't go looking for potential mates in a bar. And if the guy is at the bar, chances are he is drinking. You don't need a second opinion. Mini_Angel_1994 Talk to him, try to get facts out of him. Without having to date. I said when someone proposes, you're going to talk to him, look into each other, and get to know him better. As if you're dating but letting the whole world know that you're going to get married. Of course, without forbidden kind of relationship, or getting out alone. You're describing the exact kind of relationships my Catholic and Christain friends have. Why can't Muslims do the same thing?
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Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2008 1:56 pm
Well, nothing Prophet Muhammad said is none sense. I don't know if there's a proof or not. But, my mother's marriage worked, many of the people I know who got married, did this, and their marriage went fine.
Look, if you want something, you'll surely get it. Especially if you ask help from Allah.
Ok! Talk with your brother or sister, isn't there any other opposite sex left unless they're the one whom you are allowed to marry? Frankly, discusing is good, you and I are discussing right now, I got ideas from you, and you got ideas from me. Discuss with your classmates, your father your mother. It's simple, you're just making it so difficult. But HEY! I lived it my whole life, and I find it useful!
You misunderstood me AGAIN! I told you to ask people who live beside that bar, or who has kind of shops beside that bar, does that person go regulary to this bar?
Because they have no intention of getting married! I told you, you can have that kind of relationship, but have the intention of getting married, propose, if you think that girl is worth it, go, pay a visit, meet the family, know who is she, how does she look like, talk with her!
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Posted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 10:35 am
Zaaki Asalam Alaykum! I really wonder... I readed that painting humans is haram and that Allah(swt) whill tell you to breath the human alive... If you can't, then Allah(swt) whill ask you why you painted it, if u can't make it alive! And punnish you! I also readed from Princess Zik, that her Imam told her that hearing musik is haram! And in the judgement day Allah(swt) whill check your ears, and if you litsened to musik then Allah(swt) punnish you! And i also readed in the swearing haram topic that you must only cry 4 days after "someone" is death! Else it's haram to cry! And people say that there is some weird haram thing in jelly that makes it haram! It's also jewish haram! no it is only haram if it condridicting the Sharia law other wise it is halal
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Posted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 10:44 am
Zaaki Asalam Alaykum! I really wonder... I readed that painting humans is haram and that Allah(swt) whill tell you to breath the human alive... If you can't, then Allah(swt) whill ask you why you painted it, if u can't make it alive! And punnish you! I also readed from Princess Zik, that her Imam told her that hearing musik is haram! And in the judgement day Allah(swt) whill check your ears, and if you litsened to musik then Allah(swt) punnish you! And i also readed in the swearing haram topic that you must only cry 4 days after "someone" is death! Else it's haram to cry! And people say that there is some weird haram thing in jelly that makes it haram! It's also jewish haram! As for crying goes...no its not haram it is haram if you do it...how shall I say?.... uncontrolably When Imam Hussian A.S died his father did not cry but rather had a slight tear coming down his face this also is one of the reasons weman can not see the dead buried
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