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Here are my crack-tastic pairings:

1: Diva and David
2: Saya and Louis
3: Karl and Julia
4: Hagi and Mao
5: Kai and Nathan
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1: Use one word to describe couple 1's relationship: Double-D's! Does that count?

2: If Mao had an affair with Karl and Kai walked in what would happen?
Kai: "Holy @#^%$&*^%$#!*#*^$%..." Shouts random profanities for several minutes before dropping dead from shock.

3:If Saya and Louis wanted a *ahem* (you know) which couple would they pick?
Well, I think Hagi and Mao but it'd end up being only Hagi and Saya. XD;

4: Would Julia take advantage of Hagi if he were emotionally distressed?

Hagi: "*sob, sob, sob* -Saya's asleep- *sob, sob, sob...*"

Julia: Takes off her glasses in what she thinks is a seductive way and walks up to him, thus putting her big boobs in his face. "Did somebody call a doctor, 'cause it looks like you have some heart trouble." *drums and percussion sound for bad pick-up line*

Hagi: Stops sobbing. "...?"

Julia: Is slightly disgruntled he didn't get the hint. "Heart trouble... as in I diagnos your condition as a broken heart."

*Silence*

Hagi: Staring at her big boobs. "..."

Hagi does not give in despite her toght clothes with low collars and short skirts and Julia gives up becuase he doesn't understand anything she's saying.

5: Kai and Nathan decide to consummate their marriage. Describe their first time in 5 words.

5 words: "Kai: 'OMG! WTF?! GO AWAY!'"

6: Diva and David have a fight. What is it about?

Diva complains that David spends too much time with Saya. He says it's because of his job. She then says, "Then What about that doctor with the big boobs? You spend alot of time with her, and if you say 'it's because of my job' again, I WILL KILL YOU!"

... R.I.P. David.

7: Would Hagi rather *ahem* Kai or Nathan? Neither! But Nathan probably wouldn't mind.

8: Is Mao... you saw the question above. Considering she's had an affair with Karl and Louis so far, yeah.

9: Why would Saya and Louis break up? Because she loves Hagi!

10: I don't know the answer to this question, but Nathan would probably be willing. xd

1. Amshel and David
2. Riku and Karmen
3. Diva and Louis
4. Irene and Saya
5. Solomon and Joel

1-Use one word to describe couple 1's relationship
Creepy!

2- If the second partner of Couple 4 had an affair with the first partner of Couple 3, and the first partner of Couple 5 walked in on them screwing each other, what would happen?
Well, if Solomon caught Diva and Saya in bed together, he'd join the fun of course!

3-If Couple 2 decides to participate in a foursome, what couple would they choose do it with?
Three, just try to picturte it.

4- Would the second partner of Couple 3 take advantage of the first partner of Couple 4 if they were in emotional distress?
Would Louis take advantage of Irene? Wouldn't you? xd

5- Couple 5 decides to consummate their marriage. Describe their first time in five words.
Awkard, borning, gentle, bloody, un satisying. (Joel is paralized from the waist down, not much fun for Solomon)

6- Couple 1 has a fight. What kind of fight?
Over their first couch.

7- Would the first partner of Couple 4 rather do the second partner of Couple 1 or the second partner of Couple 5??
Irene: Everyone knows Joel is dead in bed, so I'd pick David!

David: Yay!

Joel: ...I hate you.

8- Is the second partner of Couple 4 bangable?
Hellz yeah!

9- Why would Couple 2 break up?
Karmen was taken away by the feds for screwing a little kid. Diva can get away with that, but not him!

10- Who would top in Couple 5?

Solomon!