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 Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 12:25 pm
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Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 9:43 am
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Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 12:32 pm
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My best friend recently got a job in Sanrio (they mostly sell Hello Kitty merchandise). As part of her job, 3 days a month she has to dress up in the Hello Kitty costume & wave to costumers. Her first day on the job, she had to do this, & some kid about 8 or 9 years old should have been banned from the mall for the stuff he pulled.
First, he tackled her, nearly knocking her over.
Then he punched her repeatedly, using all of his strength & leaving bruises on her through the costume. The arms of the costume are only about a foot long, so she really couldn't defend herself.
& Finally, he stood there & threw things at her from across the hall.
When she told me this, my first thought was "Where the hell were his parents?"
Apparently, he was at the mall by himself. Security had to take him away before he could do anything else to my poor friend in a Hello Kitty Costume. The guards said later that he appeared to have some sort of mental illness or disability, so he wasn't all there.
What kind of parent leaves a 9 year old challenged kid in a mall by himself?
As for the schools, I have to disagree with you on this. I'm in my last year of high school this year. When I was in Elementary school, they loaded us up with so much work that we never had time to leave the house without risking failing. It was like that for everyone. I grew up with a slight learning disability, so I, of course, failed most of my classes, no matter how much effort I put in to pass. The school I went to didn't have a Special Education course for me to take, & some how I moved on to Middle School without being held back, despite my horrible grades.
In Middle School, the teachers warned us that Middle School was tougher than Elementary school, & they were right, but the teachers that cared (only about half) were willing to stay after school & give you breaks in the school work & all that. Also, they finally had a Special Education class, but my level of Disability wasn't enough for me to go into it, so I was stuck in normal classes where it took me twice as long to understand the material without extra help.
High school is the easiest thing I've dealt with, & it's ridiculous. High School is supposed to be the hardest they force you into, & yet it's nowhere near as difficult as my Elementary & Middle schools were. The only problem is the politics. If a teacher likes you, they'll help you pass, even if you don't do any of the work. If the teacher doesn't like you, they do everything in their power to make you fail. Say you turn in a paper. The teachers would hide your paper, & then claim that you never turned it in if they didn't like you. This happened to me on multiple occasions, which is why I failed, & am graduating later than the rest of my class. Anything that the teachers can do to get out of more work, they view as a blessing, & they don't hesitate to cheat you out of your grade so that they get out of more work.
I don't view this as them 'eliminating academic stress' & giving us less work, I view it as The teachers being lazy & picking favorites, making it easier for the kids that have everything going for them, & hard for the kids that don't, but I see some far bigger problems in our schools.
Going back to the behavioral issue, I have a few other stories:
First, racism in schools.
The Principal is white. He's well-known for being racist against anyone Hispanic or Asian.
Two kids in high school.
One kid is black. He doesn't care too much about consequences. He's known for having gang affiliations, & often wears dark red & throws up gang signs wherever he goes.
The other kid is Hispanic. His favorite colors to wear are baby blue & orange. Good student, great friend, plays basketball outside of school.
The 2 guys get into a fight off school property, on a weekend. They never bring the school into it because neither wants to be kicked out. The black guy initiates the fight. The Hispanic guy doesn't want to fight, tries to back out. The fight ends with the Hispanic guy being taken away on a stretcher. He's in the hospital for 2 weeks.
When they both go back to school, the Hispanic guy gets expelled from the school for fighting & having gang affiliations, while the black guy gets suspended for 2 weeks & graduates that year.
You tell me, what's wrong with this picture?
Another story:
My niece is in Daycare, & the main reason that she recently had to switch centers is because the woman that was supposed to be watching the infants (my niece is 1 year old) left bruises on children not under her care, ignored when a child needed changing (giving them rashes & infections), came in to work every morning smelling heavily of alcohol, & 'forgot' to feed the infants half the time. When the manager was confronted on this issue, instead of looking into these claims, she yelled at the parents, telling them that if they didn't like her staff, they needed to find another daycare center.
A few months later, a child buried his head under the sand & suffocated himself in the sandbox at the same daycare center. He wasn't discovered until 2 hours after he died. The center is still open, with the same drunken staff member working there.
I'm finding more & more of this sort of thing all over the place. It's in the news all the time, & I personally deal wit this sort of thing constantly. Why isn't anything being done yet about such a serious problem? Is this more important than parents not taking care of their own children? The answer is no, it's equally important. If the parents aren't taking care of their own children, it's really up to the schools & daycare centers to try & solve it. If they don't, then look at what we have to look forward to in our society. Our jails are going to be filled with people whose parents could have prevented all of this if only they'd had some proper guidance in their lives.
I completely agree that these are problems that must be dealt with, but how do you solve a parent not taking care of their own children? As seen above, you can't expect the sitters to handle it because many aren't even good at that.
Edit: That was much longer than anticipated. Sorry if I went a bit off topic... sweatdrop
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Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 4:39 pm
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FaithBlack My best friend recently got a job in Sanrio (they mostly sell Hello Kitty merchandise). As part of her job, 3 days a month she has to dress up in the Hello Kitty costume & wave to costumers. Her first day on the job, she had to do this, & some kid about 8 or 9 years old should have been banned from the mall for the stuff he pulled. First, he tackled her, nearly knocking her over. Then he punched her repeatedly, using all of his strength & leaving bruises on her through the costume. The arms of the costume are only about a foot long, so she really couldn't defend herself. & Finally, he stood there & threw things at her from across the hall. When she told me this, my first thought was "Where the hell were his parents?" Apparently, he was at the mall by himself. Security had to take him away before he could do anything else to my poor friend in a Hello Kitty Costume. The guards said later that he appeared to have some sort of mental illness or disability, so he wasn't all there. What kind of parent leaves a 9 year old challenged kid in a mall by himself?
Quote: As for the schools, I have to disagree with you on this. I'm in my last year of high school this year. When I was in Elementary school, they loaded us up with so much work that we never had time to leave the house without risking failing. It was like that for everyone. I grew up with a slight learning disability, so I, of course, failed most of my classes, no matter how much effort I put in to pass. The school I went to didn't have a Special Education course for me to take, & some how I moved on to Middle School without being held back, despite my horrible grades. In Middle School, the teachers warned us that Middle School was tougher than Elementary school, & they were right, but the teachers that cared (only about half) were willing to stay after school & give you breaks in the school work & all that. Also, they finally had a Special Education class, but my level of Disability wasn't enough for me to go into it, so I was stuck in normal classes where it took me twice as long to understand the material without extra help. High school is the easiest thing I've dealt with, & it's ridiculous. High School is supposed to be the hardest they force you into, & yet it's nowhere near as difficult as my Elementary & Middle schools were. The only problem is the politics. If a teacher likes you, they'll help you pass, even if you don't do any of the work. If the teacher doesn't like you, they do everything in their power to make you fail. Say you turn in a paper. The teachers would hide your paper, & then claim that you never turned it in if they didn't like you. This happened to me on multiple occasions, which is why I failed, & am graduating later than the rest of my class. Anything that the teachers can do to get out of more work, they view as a blessing, & they don't hesitate to cheat you out of your grade so that they get out of more work.
Quote: I don't view this as them 'eliminating academic stress' & giving us less work, I view it as The teachers being lazy & picking favorites, making it easier for the kids that have everything going for them, & hard for the kids that don't, but I see some far bigger problems in our schools.
Quote: Going back to the behavioral issue, I have a few other stories: First, racism in schools. The Principal is white. He's well-known for being racist against anyone Hispanic or Asian. Two kids in high school. One kid is black. He doesn't care too much about consequences. He's known for having gang affiliations, & often wears dark red & throws up gang signs wherever he goes. The other kid is Hispanic. His favorite colors to wear are baby blue & orange. Good student, great friend, plays basketball outside of school. The 2 guys get into a fight off school property, on a weekend. They never bring the school into it because neither wants to be kicked out. The black guy initiates the fight. The Hispanic guy doesn't want to fight, tries to back out. The fight ends with the Hispanic guy being taken away on a stretcher. He's in the hospital for 2 weeks. When they both go back to school, the Hispanic guy gets expelled from the school for fighting & having gang affiliations, while the black guy gets suspended for 2 weeks & graduates that year. You tell me, what's wrong with this picture?
A lot of things. I had a similar issue except I got suspended and the initiator got off scott free. I went to a predominately black school in middle school. I do not have an issue with black people (in fact at that school I had a lot of black friends) one girl (and her "gang") absolutely hated me because I wouldn't treat her as if she was better than me. She felt I was trying to get the white man back at the top. Which wasn't true, I'm a huge equalitist and bow down to no one. She and I have some verbal conversations and I go to the school's principal about it and tell him that she's threatening me and blah blah blah. I filed about 4 or 5 complaints within the first semester of my 6th grade year about this. All of which were ignored. One day (off of school property) she hit a friend of mine and I go off on her. I never raised a finger to her. She hit me a couple of times and asked why I didn't fight back so I told her (just as an adult was coming up) that I didn't see the point because she's so fat (and she was) that any attempt would be futile. It's like she has a force field around her, except that force field is large amount of fat that makes her hideous and deformed. I had sever bruising and blood and my friend on the ground had sustained bloody nose and black eye. We were all taken to the office and when I was brought in and told them what happened they told me I must have started the fight because I'm racist. I pointed out that I wasn't not the racist one and told them to refer to the complaints I filed (they wouldn't) and also told them even if I was racist why would a 5ft 100lb person start a physical fight with a 5ft 6-8 in 300 lb person? It didn't make sense. Well, he told me that the facts were clear and I got in school suspension and was told that I was lucky not to be facing hate crime/ assault charges.
I'm very well aware of issues dealing with race. And you know what the funny thing was? The principal was white.
Quote: Another story: My niece is in Daycare, & the main reason that she recently had to switch centers is because the woman that was supposed to be watching the infants (my niece is 1 year old) left bruises on children not under her care, ignored when a child needed changing (giving them rashes & infections), came in to work every morning smelling heavily of alcohol, & 'forgot' to feed the infants half the time. When the manager was confronted on this issue, instead of looking into these claims, she yelled at the parents, telling them that if they didn't like her staff, they needed to find another daycare center. A few months later, a child buried his head under the sand & suffocated himself in the sandbox at the same daycare center. He wasn't discovered until 2 hours after he died. The center is still open, with the same drunken staff member working there. I'm finding more & more of this sort of thing all over the place. It's in the news all the time, & I personally deal wit this sort of thing constantly. Why isn't anything being done yet about such a serious problem? Is this more important than parents not taking care of their own children? The answer is no, it's equally important. If the parents aren't taking care of their own children, it's really up to the schools & daycare centers to try & solve it. If they don't, then look at what we have to look forward to in our society. Our jails are going to be filled with people whose parents could have prevented all of this if only they'd had some proper guidance in their lives.
Quote: I completely agree that these are problems that must be dealt with, but how do you solve a parent not taking care of their own children? As seen above, you can't expect the sitters to handle it because many aren't even good at that.
Quote: Edit: That was much longer than anticipated. Sorry if I went a bit off topic... sweatdrop |
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 10:03 am
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Caffinated Mushroom Quote: I completely agree that these are problems that must be dealt with, but how do you solve a parent not taking care of their own children? As seen above, you can't expect the sitters to handle it because many aren't even good at that. I agree that the parents are not responsible all the time but as a parent they need to be monitoring those types of situations and in the case you presented they don't until it's too late. I would say that the best way for a parent to take care of their own child is to pay attention and correct bad behavior. In cases like extreme neglect form like a baby sitter, that is a whole new can of worms and the parent needs to not only sue but move their child to a new reputable place as well.
Okay, so that says what the parents need to do in order to find a sitter to cover for their mistakes, but what about the parents? Who gives them the slap on the wrist when they allow their children to have the serious behavioral problems, like stealing & what not? Sure, when they're older, the police will get involved, but they need to be taught at an early age that this sort of thing is wrong. By the time they're old enough that the police will get involved, it will already be in their heads that there won't be a lot of consequences, so how do you get a parent to discipline their child? Child services won't care, as long as the kid is in good health (no bruises, reports of sexual assault, etc). At that age, most judges won't want to send them to juvie unless it's a really serious case. So how do you deal with it? Are people supposed to go door to door & educate parents on disciplining their children? What can you really do? |
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 5:03 pm
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FaithBlack Caffinated Mushroom Quote: I completely agree that these are problems that must be dealt with, but how do you solve a parent not taking care of their own children? As seen above, you can't expect the sitters to handle it because many aren't even good at that. I agree that the parents are not responsible all the time but as a parent they need to be monitoring those types of situations and in the case you presented they don't until it's too late. I would say that the best way for a parent to take care of their own child is to pay attention and correct bad behavior. In cases like extreme neglect form like a baby sitter, that is a whole new can of worms and the parent needs to not only sue but move their child to a new reputable place as well. Okay, so that says what the parents need to do in order to find a sitter to cover for their mistakes, but what about the parents? Who gives them the slap on the wrist when they allow their children to have the serious behavioral problems, like stealing & what not? Sure, when they're older, the police will get involved, but they need to be taught at an early age that this sort of thing is wrong. By the time they're old enough that the police will get involved, it will already be in their heads that there won't be a lot of consequences, so how do you get a parent to discipline their child? Child services won't care, as long as the kid is in good health (no bruises, reports of sexual assault, etc). At that age, most judges won't want to send them to juvie unless it's a really serious case. So how do you deal with it? Are people supposed to go door to door & educate parents on disciplining their children? What can you really do?
I hear it all the time "it's hard being a parent" "I don't want to hear him cry" "blah blah blah" it doesn't matter. You are the parent and it is up to YOU to make sure your child will grow up to be a productive member of society not some little brat who is use to being given everything even when they've done something bad. |
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 6:10 pm
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As most people know, America has become one of the more radical and lazy-er of countries and youths these days can be a perfect example of that. Due to the lack of discepline and order in society, this effects parents/adults which bear these things upon their kids and students and etc.
Perhaps because this country is such a damn large 'melting pot', there is no main custom or tradition for people to follow regarding manners and acts. And so, people step out of their ancestor's cultures and become one with what is generally the sterotype of American culture: "Killing people for no reason"(a quote from Rush Hour 3, rudeness, possibly stupidity, and fatness.
I'm ashamed of not having any culture or tradition bestowed upon me, a child of an immigrant and an immigrant's daughter, and it seems that I too have resorted to the 'American culture' if I may quote myself, ashamed of being an American because of these bratty youths and the adults that had corrupted them.
Just look at all those Hollywood teen couples and non-couples, becoming pregnant and then having a volley of insults upon them about being irresponsible for becoming pregnant underaged, I speak mainly on that Jamie Lynn Spears girl, but there are several other famous young people I'm sure that have/had become/been pregnant with negative response from the public.
I feel so horrible for your Hello Kitty friend! That little boy is an a** and has every right to be sued by your friend!
Perhaps it's also a side-effect of people in America being so fake and phony in public, and these people lashing out and causing trouble is them releasing their unconscious or conscious anger. But, perhaps all countrys' people must act false in the public's eye.
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Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 2:09 am
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Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 4:40 am
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Do you feel as if this is a growing issue?
I feel like this is a MAJOR issue in our society today! If nobody does anything about it, the only possible outcome is anarchy. Either that or more people in prison than out.
Are parents really lacking control for their children?
I believe they have the means at their disposal, but they haven't the motive.
When we were in high school, taking those sex education classes, what were we taught? Promiscuity leads to HIV and babies. That fear of HIV is what kept many of us from having sex until we were a few years older. I think that parents should be required, by law, to take a course on raising children. In that course, they will learn, the same way we learned about HIV, that their kids will grow up to go to prison if they're not raised properly. I'm not saying that if a parent fails the course, they shouldn't be allowed to have children, I'm saying that an attempt to inform parents is better than what we've got now. No wonder kids today have so many problems! If parents are informed about what punishment methods are acceptable & what aren't, I think we'll see a lot less kids being put into foster care because their parents beat the snot out of them for misbehaving. I also think that this will let parents know exactly how much work will be expected of them, & it may encourage people to hold off on having kids until they are stable enough to do so... In other words, when they're not too lazy to take care of them. (It probably won't do a lot in this area, but it will help a little at least. Helps overpopulation too.) Even if a parent doesn't pass this course, there will be millions of other parents who can offer some advice from the course.
Are the parents even to blame?
Absolutely. I think it to be entirely the parent's fault. They have a duty to themselves, their kids, & society to take care of their children. Not punishing them when they are obviously doing something bad is just as bad as neglect in my book.
If you think this is an issue what do you think the potential consequences are?
As I said before, more people in prison than out. I also think that it could, eventually, mean a lot more kids in foster care, which benefits no one. All those people who talk about solving the problems of the world will finally be forced to deal with the problems in America (you can't help others until you help yourself) when they all get robbed & have their children taken away.
Any other comments or personal stories are encouraged.
I have a story.
My Aunt Phylis has 3 kids - Kenny, 25, Matthew, 16, & Sara, 10.
Everyone knows that my Aunt Phylis is not the brightest star in the solar system. Everyone also knows that Phylis is a HORRIBLE parent.
When Kenny was young, Phylis was working a lot, & his father was never around. I never knew who raised Kenny, but my cousin Kenny is absolutely wonderful. He's polite, he's considerate, he's everything that a man should be. To society, he'd be seen as an average guy. In our family, he's a Saint & a God. Phylis had very little to no hand in raising Kenny, & he's a million times better for it.
The proof of this comes from Phylis' other 2 kids. Matthew was selfish in his childhood. Everything was his as long as he was the baby in the house, & he got everything he ever wanted. Now that he's a teenager, he's in & out of Juvie, constantly in trouble with the law, & Phylis just sits by & lets it happen. He started acting out more after his little sister was born.
Sara is no better. In fact, she's worse. A few years ago, I, along with my mom's whole side of the family, were to plan a funeral for my Great Grandmother. One day, the whole family was talking with the funeral director who would be handling all the arrangements. Sara, being the brat that she is, decided that since no one was paying attention to her, she was going to have a tantrum. She wanted to leave, she wanted ice cream, she wanted candy, she wanted anything that would make her the center of attention. While she was throwing this tantrum, the whole family stared at her, the funeral director, too. What did Phylis do? She stared blankly into space on the other side of the room, ignoring her daughter.
My sister is about the same age as Kenny. My sister suggested to Sara that they go outside to play while the grown ups talked. Sara's tantrum turned violent, & Phylis decided to yell at my sister for touching her daughter (she had grabbed Sara's arm to take her outside), instead of yelling at her daughter, who had kicked my sister in the shin.
Kenny seems to be the only person who can control those kids that Phylis doesn't yell at (mostly because Kenny yells right back when she gets mad at him for controlling her kids. Kenny's a big man, so intimidation is his specialty when it comes to Phylis & her abusive husband).
My sister was asked to leave, & Sara later got her ice cream. My mother decided to spend the next 10 minutes screaming at Phylis; the basic gyst of it was "If you're not gonna control your kids, then let Angel (my sister), or I'm going to, & neither of you is gonna like that!"
Cases such as this make me question, what do you do when parents are under the impression that their kids can do no wrong? Obviously, jail time isn't going to do any good, even when their kids are adults, because they will still be under the impression that everyone has been wrong all these years & that their child is a saint.
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Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 4:44 am
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Reply
