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Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 9:06 am
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A heavy sigh escaped the cub's maw as he fell down on his stomach burrowing his head in his paws. It was too much, all the responsibility that had been shoved upon him, Ubele and that new cub who came with the prince when he returned. There had been so many deaths, so many that were his fault. Of course they didn't have to interfere but they did, to save him thus making it his fault for their deaths. Then there was the needless death of his sister that lingered in his mind. Was Kuruka's death his fault as well? He couldn't be sure.
What Peke was sure of was that...that he missed her. Missed her terribly. There wasn't a day that went by that he wasn't thinking about her. He knew that it would be better if he let go but he couldn't help but feel as though he was the one to blame. If he had just paid better attention she wouldn't have gotten lost, then she wouldn't have ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time. Then she wouldn't be death.
Suddenly he pushed himself up his teeth clenching together as he let out a snarl, a snarl at himself, before smacking his paw against the ground harshly. Ignoring the pain that shot through him at the idiotic action. "Why had I been so stupid?" He yelled throwing his head back as he did so.
His bonded looked at him with a worried expression. Lately things like this had been happening more and more frequently. And with each occurrence Peke grew moodier and moodier. "Peke..." Nguvu began hobbling closer to the cub touching him with his good wing. "It was an accident, you couldn't have stopped it." He stated trying to console his bonded only to have the opposite effect.
"Shut up!" He growled whirling around glaring at the bird. "Shut up! You don't know anything! I could've stopped it, I could have saved her life. I could have stopped all of them from dying!" He shouted getting into the raven's face. "If I had kept a better eye on her she wouldn't have gotten lost, then I wouldn't have left the other and ran into that witch!" He left out the part that if those events did not happen he would have never met Nguvu.
"Peke! Do not speak to me like that!" Nguvu ordered his eyes narrowing into a warning glare. "Things happened the way they did for a reason and you damn well know it so stop throwing yourself a pity party because I'm sick of it!"
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Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 9:45 am
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Ubele sighed, pacing back and forth. It was an activity that seemed to monopolize a great deal of her time lately. Still, there was a lot to think about, and for whatever reason, the repetitive motion of walking back and forth, back and forth, seemed to help her collect her thoughts. That is, if she could hear herself think.
Ube jumped, startled when she heard a loud voice from nearby. She had thought she'd been alone. Not many of the pride members ever came out to his particular part of the lands, which was why she had chosen it. The yelling continued, and Ube's expression grew sad as she recognized the voice.
Peke . . .
The other cub had once irritated Ubele to no end because of his behavior toward Ubele's brother. However, after all that had happened with the earthquake and the events after it, Ube could no longer feel angry with Peke. She understood his sense of loss. He had lost a sister and Ubele had lost her mother.
Unable to help hearing what was going on, Ubele listened and was concerned at the tone of Peke's voice. Frowning, she moved quietly and followed the sound until she found them: Peke and his bonded, Nguvu. Ubele watched with a horrified expression as the two snapped at each other. She was certain that they didn't mean to be hurtful to each other, but it was not right for a bonded pair to raise their voices at each other. She couldn't help herself as she cried out.
"Stop! Please stop. Don't yell at each other," she cried out, mournfully, taking a step towards the pair. She didn't want to get too close. Peke had gotten angry at her before for interfering, but she didn't care this time. It was too painful to listen to them yelling at each other.
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Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 10:30 am
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Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 10:44 am
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Ubele was surprised as well. The verbal attack that she had anticipated did not come. Rather, she actually got an apology. It wasn't until that moment that Ubele realized just how much Peke had changed. She hesitated slightly, wondering if he would mind, but then walked slowly over and sat down next to him. Sometimes having someone close helped to deal with the pain. And she knew that he had pain.
"I'm sorry too. For barging in on your conversation. That wasn't right. But ... it made me very sad to hear you two fighting and I couldn't help myself. So ... I'm sorry too."
Ubele listened with surprise as Peke spoke. Not only where the words nice, but the tone with which he spoke them was kind as well. That was definitely a first. Ube hoped that she might be able to give Peke a little bit of the comfort that her brother had helped her to find.
"I ... well, I've certainly been better, but I have been worse as well. How about you?"
When Peke mentioned her mother, Ubele couldn't help but look down at the ground, a wave of sadness still washing over her. Still, it was not as bad as it had been and she focused on answering him.
"Y-yeah. She didn't make it through at all. We ... we are still not sure when she ... died. But Ufu ... my brother and I made a memorial for her. It helped." She paused before adding, "I ... heard about Kuruka too."
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Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 12:13 pm
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Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 12:56 pm
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Ubele sighed. She should have known better than to show any sort of pity towards Peke. She knew how much she hated it herself. Pity she couldn't stand, but sympathy ... sympathy was different. Sympathy meant that you understood. Perhaps she and Peke could share sympathy.
"No. You're right. Things never will be the same. After the earth shook, so many things changed whether or not we were ready for them to change. We can't go back and change the past, we just have to live with the present and look to the future. It isn't fair," she spat, and took a deep breath.
"It isn't fair, but that is life. We have to find a way to continue on."
Ubele's mind was filled with memories of life as they used to be. Their mother was alive. She did not have these strange and frightening visions. Ukweli was alive. Kuruka was alive... But no. They were memories. Just memories. She could cling to them and attempt to live in the past, but then she would never truly live again.
"I miss it, you know. The way life used to be. Everything seemed so much simpler. But then, I look at the way I used to behave and I seem like a completely different person. It's all so confusing."
The earthquake and the other events had caused all of the pride's cubs to grow up a great deal. Though they were still young, they had seen a lot of tragedy and were forced to find a grown-up way of dealing with it.
Ubele nuzzled Peke gently, sharing his pain of loss.
"Yes, I miss her too. It is okay to miss her. I think that it is okay to be angry and to be sad and to miss her."
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Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 1:28 pm
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Posted: Mon Oct 20, 2008 5:13 pm
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Ubele pulled away, surprised. However, it made sense. It was a comforting motion that she used with her brother, and she had done it without thinking. She pulled away just enough to give him some space, but not enough so that he would think she was trying to distance herself. She didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable.
She nodded sadly as she listened to him speak. She certainly didn't agree that it was his fault for the deaths of the others, but she knew that she would be unable to convince him otherwise. Still, she had to at least try.
"It isn't your fault that they died. You are not the one that killed them. If anyone is at fault, it is those that did the killing," she said quietly before changing the subject. "I do know what you mean. I don't want to have these stupid visions. Or the stupid responsibility that comes with them. I'd like to give them up and have my mom and Kuruka and the others back. Why did everything have to change?" she cried, fighting back tears.
She took a few breaths to calm herself before she continued.
"We have to stay strong. I know that is going to be really difficult, but even if we don't want to carry on, we have to in their memory. In their place. I know my mom would have wanted me to carry on. Kuruka would want the same thing for you. And it is okay to feel angry or sad. They are just feelings. They're natural. It is when you try to hide those feelings that you become someone evil."
Ubele turned to catch Peke's gaze and said, "And I don't quite feel like letting go yet either. And I think that is okay."
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Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 1:15 pm
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Posted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 9:24 am
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Ubele returned Peke's smile, delighted that she had helped to make that smile. She'd always disliked Peke for bullying her brother, but there was a small, tiny part of her that did like him, though she would never tell him that. Still, they had to stick together. Along with that other cub, they were the ones that had these visions. If they didn't have each other, they would never manage to make it through.
"That sounds like a good plan. I promise not to bottle either. I'll yell and scream and cry and throw tantrums just like I used to. They aren't 'ladylike' but they certainly do help," she joked back.
She grew quiet again as she contemplated one of his statements. Fate. Ubele had always been confused about the idea of fate. Just the thought that their entire life was planned out seemed scary to her. She made her own decisions, didn't she? How could her choices be predetermined? Still, everything did happen for a reason, so fate had to exist . . . It was all very confusing. Ubele was getting used to confusing though, and just hoped that she could keep up.
"Who are we to argue with fate, right? I guess we have to just take what life gives us. At least we still have the pride," she said. Glancing around, Ubele noticed that it was getting late. She wondered if anyone was out looking for them.
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Posted: Sat Nov 22, 2008 9:31 am
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Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2009 9:53 pm
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Ubele giggled and then paused, surprised by the sound. She hadn't giggled, or laughed, in so long. She was almost ashamed of it, being able to laugh after so many were gone . . . but she knew that she had to move on eventually. She shrugged away the thoughts and was merely glad that she and Peke could tease each other again.
Though Peke was a pain sometimes, she was glad to have him around. She loved her brother Ufu more than anyone, he could never really understand how she felt about her seer powers. Peke at least knew what it was like to have some sort of ability that frightened you. She had to wonder what it was like to be like him. To know when others were lying to you. It had to be a remarkable ability, but still, sad and frightening too.
"Fools, we're already fools. And I have to tell you, I don't really mind."
Ubele glanced at the sky and was startled by how much time had passed. She knew that her brother and her father were bound to be looking for him, and Dumu was probably worried about Peke as well. She smiled sadly at Peke.
"We really should be getting back."
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Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2009 10:22 pm
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Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2009 10:44 pm
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