Post a Joke!

[Henneth Annun]

So, post a joke! Any joke, you can make it up or have stolen it from someone!

Rules!!!
1) Keep it PG-13
2) As funny as they can be, do not make any racist jokes or ones that insult/are hostile to a praticular religion, culture, custom, ect. When in doubt, don't post, or just ask.

One small request, no dumb blond jokes, I'm friggin' tired of those, only post really really good ones, nothing stupid that everyone's heard before.  

[Henneth Annun]

There once was a man who had two very beautiful daughers, the most beautiful in the town, but he had no son. He wanted a son, so he and his wife decided that they would try again for one. She got pregnant, and when she had the baby, the father looked at it in shock and said to his wife: "I have two beautiful daughters, why is my son so ugly? Did you cheat on me!?" The wife then smiled sweetly and said "Not this time".



xd  

[shadowcat715]

LOL, nice. I have a few lame ones :]

- Q: Did you hear about the skunk who won the lottery?
A: He was stinking rich.

- Q: What language do cars speak?
A: V8-namese.

- A girl was born in the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Her parents called her Eileen.  

[trampyre]

A bunch of Engineering professors and Computer Science professors from the same university are going on a train to a conference. One of the engineers lines up to at the ticket booth but only buys one ticket. One of the computer scientists asks "Why just one ticket? there are three of you in your group." The engineer holding the ticket replies, "You'll see."

They board they train, and soon enough, the ticket collector starts coming around. Long before the collector gets to their part of the train, the engineers sneak off, one by one, to the restroom and crowd in. The ticket collector knocks on the door, and says, "Ticket please." One of the engineers says "Here you go sir!" and a ticket slides out from under the door and the collector picks it up.

"Damn those engineers," say one of the computer scientists, "What a great idea!"

After the conference back at the train station, the computer scientists and engineers meet up again. "Oh hey Steve, hey Doug, Martha."

The computer scientists have planned to try out the engineers' trick this time, so one of them lines up and buys just one ticket. However, this time, none of the engineers line up, they just sit there. The computer scientists wonder what's going on, but soon the train arrives and it's time to board.

As before, when the ticket collector starts coming around, the computer scientists all pile into the restroom in their car one by one as surreptitiously as possible. They hear a knock at the door, and a voice say, "Ticket please." "Yes sir," answers one of the computer scientists, and slides the ticket under the door.

After they're sure the collector has gone, they file out one by one back to their seats. However, as they do so, They are approached by the ticket collector. "I'm sorry, folks, but I don't think I got your tickets." The computer scientists look at one another, exasperated. "I guess we'll just have to purchase them now," says one, and forks over his cash.

Sitting back down, the computer scientists notice that the engineers are all chuckling from the opposite side of the car. "I know what happened!" exclaims one of the computer scientists, utterly incensed. "They took our ticket! That's it, I think the Engineering Department will be having some serious network 'maintenance' to put up with when we get back!"



I changed it a little, but this is one I like and have liked for years. It's really funnier when you hear it told properly, out loud.  

[Creta the Otaku]

I got one I heard from the Pretender and I'm going from memory so it might not be good since I think i only saw the episode once. XD

Q: How many psyciatrists (sp?) does it take to change a lightbulb.
A:ONe but the lightbulb has to want to change.

lame I know but I've been wanting to tell someone and I kept forgetting until now. XD

Oh I got another one (from memory I got from a children's jokebook.). XD

A lady goes to to her pastor (sp?) and tells him that she has a parrot but all it says is kiss me. The pastor tells her that he also has a parrot that just says "lets pray". He tells her to bring her parrot over so maybe his parrot can help her parrot. The lady brings her parrot over and the two parrots are in the same cage. The lady's parrot says "kiss me" and the pastor's parrot says "Finally my prayers have been answered." XD  

[the_underworks]

Damn... all the jokes i know violate the thread rules...  

[Henneth Annun]

the_underworks

Damn... all the jokes i know violate the thread rules...

Post them in white text then.  

[trampyre]

A lawyer, a physicist, and a ballerina walk into a bar.  

[Creta the Otaku]

Q: What kind of car does Luke Skywalker drive?
A: a Toy-yoda.