Piratey Tales!™ Zomg is it really back!?

[Repressed Memories]

Omg it is! Pirate Tales!™ is back and dumber than ever! Look, I even added a li'l trademark symbol. So NO stealing my ideas D=< Silly little grimlins...aaaaaaanyways, I will be trying my best to deliver you knew Pirate Tales!™ to make up for my months of personal absence.

I will also be posting the old ones that I had done, and even making another topic just for comments. So no comments here! >.< Tee-hee.  

[Repressed Memories]

Pirate Pete: Yargh! Welcome aboard me ship, ye hearty! Come take a seat and I'll spin ye a yarn.

Castaway Clarance: We're not on a ship...and you're NOT a pirate. We're stranded on this god-forsaken island because you don't know how to steer a god-forsaken row boat.

Pirate Pete: Don't listen to me matey, he's gone bonkers in the head. Too many swigs of the ol' grog.

Castaway Clarance: I haven't had any "grog." In fact, I haven't had anything to drink for three days! THREE FREAKIN' DAYS! I'm so thirsty man...so...thirsty... *drops to knees*

Pirate Pete: Stand up ye lily-livered squiffy! Or I'll make ye walk the plank! *kicks*

Castaway Clarance: There's no god damn plank! *rubs eyes, lays on ground* I'm stuck on this island with an insane man who thinks he's a pirate...I'm doomed...

Pirate Pete: Good thinkin' matey! Time to hit the hay. *lays down, falls asleep*

Castaway Clarance: Ugh... *goes to sleep*  

[Repressed Memories]

Castaway Clarance: *wakes up, yawns* Mmm...that was a nice nap. Had a strange dream where I was stranded on an island with a man who thinks he's a pi- *looks over*

Pirate Pete: *waves* YEARGH! Seems you finally got up, matey!

Castaway Clarance: God....no... *lays back down*

Pirate Pete: *stands up* Wake up, ye scurvy dog. *nudges with foot*

Castaway Clarance: Uhhhhhh.... *sits up* What do you want...

Pirate Pete: Would you like me to sing ye a sea shanty?

Castaway Clarance: NO! I don't want you to do anything. Nothing. No singing, no talking. Just sit there. Got it?

Pirate Pete: Argh... *stares at ground*

Castaway Clarance: Thank you... *thinks*

Pirate Pete: Ooohhhh! A pirate's life is a life for me! Yo-ho! Yo-ho!

Castaway Clarance: NO SINGING! *glares*

Pirate Pete: Yar-harg... *sits down, pouting*  

[Repressed Memories]

Castaway Clarance: Oh my god...I'm so hungry... *stomach growls*

Pirate Pete: Let us venture into the forest and find some grub! *walks into forest*

Castaway Clarance: That's actually...a good idea. *follows, amazed*

Pirate Pete: Yeargh! Canonballs! *points to tree*

Castaway Clarance: That's no canonball...that's a COCONUT! *climbs tree, pulling down coconuts* SUSTENANCE!

Pirate Pete: *takes coconut* 'Tis a canonball, ye scurvey dog.

Castaway Clarance: Yeah, yeah, whatever. *turns away*

Pirate Pete: FIRE IN THE HOLE!

Castaway Clarance: *coconut flies by head* What the fu-... *turns around, stares at*

Pirate Pete: *standing next to canon* Avast, ye land-lubber.

Castaway Clarance: Where...where did you get that canon... *stares at canon*

Pirate Pete: A true pirate always has a canon with him! *takes coconut*

Castaway Clarance: Hey! That was mine! *jumps at*

Pirate Pete: Argh! *fires coconut, barely misses Clarance*

Castaway Clarance: *falls to ground* That's it....I give up...

Pirate Pete: Now let us venture on. *walks further into forest*

Castaway Clarance: ... *gets up, follows*  

[Repressed Memories]

Castaway Clarance: That's it...we're dead...Dead I tell you. DEAD! *collapses to ground*

Pirate Pete: Get up ye yella-bellied pansy! *kicks side*

Castaway Clarance: WHERE DO YOU COME UP WITH THESE NAMES!? *groans, wrapping arms around self*

Pirate Pete: Be the language of the pirate. Yeargh.

Castaway Clarance: God, not this crap again... How many times do I have to say it. You're. Not. A. Pirate!

Pirate Pete: 'Tis mutiny callin' ye cap'n an un-pirate! Do ye wish to be fed to the fishes? *holds sword out*

Castaway Clarance: What I wouldn't do for sweet, blissful de-... Did you say "un-pirate"?

Pirate Pete: Yeargh, that I did. Do ye have a problem with me jibber?

Castaway Clarance: ...I'm not even gonna answer that...

Pirate Pete: That means thee cap'n wins! Har-har! *thrusts sword up in victory*

Castaway Clarance: Whatever...I don't care...*slowly stands up* So, "cap'n"..what do you suggest we do?

Pirate Pete: ... *blank stare* ... *scratches head* Let us sing a piratey jingle! *begins singing, walking off*

Castaway Clarance: This is hopeless... *follows reluctantly*  

[Repressed Memories]

Pirate Pete: *singing* ...early in the morning! *skipping around*

Castaway Clarance: *straggling behind* Thank god...he stopped...

Pirate Pete: OHHHHHHHHHH! What do you do with a drunken sailor! What do you do with a drunken sailor! What do you do with a drunken sailor early in the morning!

Castaway Clarance: Please...God...kill me now...

Pirate Pete: OHHHHHHHHHH! What d-

Castaway Clarance: Do you not know the rest of the song!!!??? *glares at*

Pirate Pete: Yea-harg...no... *stops, staring at ground*

Castaway Clarance: *sighs, walking past* Come on, let's keep going.

Pirate Pete: *sobbing* I be not fit enough to be ye cap'n...

Castaway Clarance: *turns around, looks at* Look, I'm sorry. You too are fit enough to be my "cap'n."

Pirate Pete: *looks up at* Year-harg? Ye truly mean tat?

Castaway Clarance: Aye, that I do. *smiles slightly*

Pirate Pete: Then get moving ye pocket 'o' spankies! *pushes*

Castaway Clarance: *stumbles* Pocket...'o'...WHAT? My GOD MAN! SERIOUSLY! Where do you come up with these sayings!?!?

Pirate Pete: *ignores, skipping and singing* 99 bottles of rum on the wall! 99 bottles of rum! Steal one now, don't pass it around! All the men on the ship are now dead!

Castaway Clarance: *rubs temples* Seriously, I'm begging you...kill me now. *stares up at sky, then follows*  

[Repressed Memories]

NOW SEEN BY A COMMENT!


FILLERS!

What do these do you ask? ABSOLUTELY FREAKIN' NOTHING! Just gives me time to come up with more Tales while you guys look at more complete idiocy! Or however that's spelled!

You may also be asking why I'm gonna be adding these instead of spending the time to make more TAles. Well, to those asking...F#%$ YOU! *smiley face*