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Death Shikaku

PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 12:32 pm
On another forum (not on Gaia), I saw a thread where people just posted jokes, so I thought it was a cool idea so I made this. ^^
Well, post away! I wanna hear what everyone else's heard!

I'll start off with one joke-
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.




The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'




'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
I was almost in tears after hearing this! Sorry if it offended anyone, though. XD  
PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 4:49 pm
Here's one from a novel I had to read for class:

What's the difference between a dog and a fox?
arrow About four drinks. ninja

Highlight between the arrow and the ninja.  

Dornkus
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Death Shikaku

PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 7:05 pm
Oh, I get it. XD
It's woman related, right? rolleyes

Anyways, here's another couple.
There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5.00, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5.00. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.






A man decided to go to the super bowl for once in his life, but the ticket he bought was in the nose-bleed section and he was missing all of the action. He glanced down and saw an empty seat about 10 rows back and exactly at the 50-yard line.

He went down to the seat and saw an old man sitting next to it. "Excuse me sir, but is anyone sitting here?"

"No, this used to be my wife's seat. We visited the super bowl every year, but she died."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that...but couldn't you have invited a cousin, brother, or any relative?"

"No, they all went to the funeral."  
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*~Purple Moonlight Haze~*

 
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