[PRP South] Tired of Running [Joining]

[Venexia]

All he could hear was his breath. The sharp pants that made his whole shake as he toke in as much of the air he could. He couldn’t taste it, couldn’t taste anything. His senses no longer cared, his mind no longer cared, all that mattered was that he was away – far, far away. Some said you couldn’t run from your past, perhaps that was so, but the lion still needed to try. His feet came to a stop, slowly allowing his body and he looked at the land…

It was strange, this place, different. But, most would call Uxolo’s past different as well. Perhaps everything in this world was strange, until you adapted, adjusted. That was all it took. He had spent the night here, haunted by visions of his past. Or was it really his past? What defined that? They were merely shadows of acts he would’ve done had it been two days ago, so why did it disturb him so? That was his life. Still it rattled him to the bone, perhaps it even scared him. The lion forced himself to laugh at his own thoughts – forced himself to push such thoughts aside – how could one be frightened of themselves? Was this how easy it was to slip back into that binding spell, such thoughts of fear? Fear that Uxolo had numbed for so many years? No, he was stronger than that, better than that.

They were kinder here, letting him take refuge. He wasn’t even sure if he had needed to explain himself, or perhaps a lion on the brink of passing out from exhaustion was all the response they had needed – for the time being. He still knew that he had much to explain, and perhaps that was what he was dreading most. Talking. At that moment he wasn’t sure which would be worse – someone, some shadow from his past, catching up with him or having to exhale words for his mouth. Was he even capable of a conversation? He didn’t know, though soon he’d have to try.

Though something inside him nagged at him, a voice that nagged at him, nudged him. He had to stay, stay here. Who else would accept him in these lands? And if he left the territory he’d surely be caught… Besides, the voice cooed, here they were nice, here it was safe, perhaps he even belonged here. To this a there was a small scoff, as if he could ever belong, anywhere.

Still, he had to try. He’d proved his worth once before, he could do it again.

And now, letting himself fall into silence he waited for someone to find him.

( I hope this is fine. x: )  

[Nuxaz]

Tama let a sigh escape her lips as she lay on her stomach underneath the shade of a tree, head on her paws. Things were, boring in a sense. It felt as though time was ticking so slowly to her, something she had a struggle dealing with. After all things had always been so fast paced for her. From the time her mother left to the day her son left. Things were picking up pace a bit now; people were trickling into Tianxia, which was something she was grateful for. Yet she felt so bored.

Perhaps all she needed was something to occupy her time, to allow her to not think about her missing son and how he was fairing. To keep her mind off of Vulcan, the male she found herself constantly thinking of, worrying about his mental health as well. The male was grieving, there wasn't much else for her to do.

Picking herself up off the ground she inhaled and closed her eyes. She would seek out the new felines that had made their way into the lands. Opening her eyes she let her black toes carry her across the terrain in search of a possible new member to see how they were faring, to decide if they would remain or if they were needed to leave.

That's when she found Uxolo.

"Uxolo!" She called coming to a stop and flicking her tail. "What do you think of Tianxia?"  

[Venexia]

“Zagaa'Tamanio,” he whispered, his words hesitant, but somehow names came more naturally than sentences. He nodded his head, out of respect or habit of his past, he wasn’t sure. It was the right thing to do, wasn’t it? He remembered Tama too, the Lady of the South House.

What did he think of Tianxia? The male hadn’t made his way through the Houses, so really the question merely asked him what he thought of the South House. Naturally, a shrug came out of the male first; to be completely honest he hadn’t seen much of the House either. But… Eyes looked out, over Tianxia’s border. Here, he was safe. And although he had nothing here, he had nothing over there either – nothing he wanted to keep. Although, how restraining would this pride be? He was so used to wandering, to never having a fixed spot. And yet, perhaps it wasn’t so bad to be here. Out there he would be alone, here he had some company – though if they would actually want to be around him was a different story.

“I…I… like it here,” his voice still surprisingly soft. Or perhaps it wasn’t all that surprising, but one would expect the male to speak gruffer, bolder, louder. Perhaps that was why he dreaded speech so much; it made him appear to be something he wasn’t. Red eyes turned from the border to the lioness before him. He wasn’t going to invite himself, rather wait to be invited, and if he wasn’t, so be it. He’d move on. “It’s n-nice…” He added, quieter than before, as if trying to emphasize his point. Maybe he did want to stay after all.

There was one thing, however the lion wondered about more than anything else. He wanted to know the thoughts of this leader, what did she think? Of her subjects – were they to be called that, the word seemed fitting enough? How did she think, in comparison to the leaders he had known? Differently, he knew that, but he desired to know the differences themselves.

One step at a time, however, he wouldn’t need to know her mind if he was turned away.  

[SouthHouse Ling Kuang]

(( Nuxpost ))

Tama regarded the male carefully, she hadn't spent much time around him, yet she still felt rather comfortable around him, as though she could trust him. That little thought was difficult for her to accept because of past experience, it was hard to gain her trust. In fact Ahali, the male who was perhaps her best friend, had taken quite a while to gain her trust. She had attacked him when they had first met, partially because she had no idea who he was and because of who he reminded her of. In fact that was how it always seemed to me. It had been the same way with the lord of the Northern House as well and with the male that frequented her lands. Those of Firekin decent and of red and black coloring always made her uncomfortable, but she she was excellent in not letting it show. Not to many at least.At the male's answer she smiled, "that is good then." She was glad to see that he found himself semi-comfortable in the lands, that he didn't feel too out of place. "Good," she stated when he told herthat he found it to be nice. She circled the male before taking a seat before him. "Do you like it enough to stay Uxolo?"She was always straight and to the point, most days at least.  

[Venexia]

“I-“ he began, words rolling awkwardly out of his mouth. Did he like it enough to stay? Did she really have to ask?

Trust. Did he trust this female? He had faith that she was a good leader; he had faith in that this pride would be safe. But trust her, personally? No. Never trust a lion, or lioness, he had been bred, the statement pressed firmly into his mind, imposed by those around him. He couldn’t trust her, his mind told him that would be horrible, screwing himself over and then some. How often is another’s trust broken? Too often. And what are you left with? Pain. Pain was something that could be ignored, avoided, if one was clever. In this regard Uxolo couldn’t lie – he considered himself clever.

“Y-yes,” he began again. The one little syllable slipping off his tongue, it seemed to tug at a weight lodged into his throat, and the ending had been choppy, forced but at the same time, final. “I w-would very much,” he said, words slow as much as he hated that fact, “l-like to stay, M-miss Zagaa'Tamanio,” his head bowed slightly with respect for the Lady. Only silently, however, in his mind did he add, if you will have me.  

[SouthHouse Ling Kuang]

Tama smiled, hoping that it would help ease the male’s nerves, she was almost certain of his answer but she wanted to hear him say it. She would only offer to let him stay if he told her that it was what he wanted. Besides, it would allow her to see a little bit into his mind and the more she could read him, which was a skill that was growing quickly, the more she knew she could trust him. Trust, especially for this female, was incredibly hard to obtain.

She was welcoming yes, but she was also wary. Yet she knew how handle herself, she could and would take out anyone who turned against her or her pride. It was a fact that she was proud of. Experience taught her well.
She was pulled from her thoughts by his answer, “I am glad Uxolo.” She told him, “You are welcome into my house in the lands of Tianxia.” She paused. “Here you will call me Ming, which is the name I go by within the pride,” another pause, “ you too will also need another name. And a position. Is there one that interests you?”  

[Venexia]

Smiles, however, could be deceiving. Smiles could be dangerous, smiles could be lies. There were different types of smiles too, sug smiles for when victory was assured - at least in the comfort of ones mind - sly smiles for when games were being played, but then... there were the standard, generic, happy smiles. Smiles that put ones soul at ease, allowed you to exhale and know that everything was fine and was always going to be fine. Those smiles were lies, gave one false hope. But he attempted to offer a crumbling, quivering smile back, it was nice that she was trying.

"Ming," he repeated softly, well, it was much less a mouthful than her other name. He nodded slightly, taking in the rest of her words. "An," he blurted it out, "An can be my other name..." He had heard it or thought he had, anyways. It meant...peace, calm, yes, that sounded right, that fit right. "A position," he hated this game of echos, but he needed to think, needed to absorb, take this all in. "I think, Miss Za - Ming, I think I-I," he stumbled over his words, forcing them out, "Guard might suit me best..." Guards protected, guards fought, it was closest to the home he was running from. It was all he knew how to do.
 

[Nuxaz]

Ming could tell that he was uneasy, almost unsure, but she assumed this was because in reality he knew very little of her, as she did him. But she assumed that by welcoming her into her pride, that she would soon get to learn more of him and hopefully in time learn to trust him and in doing so perhaps earn his trust.

Trust was something very fragile she knew. She had trusted her mother, whom had broken that by running away. And later that very same trust had been repaired, and was still in the process of being put back together. One misstep and trust could easily be lost.

"An?" She repeated with the slightest arch of her brow. "Very well then, when in Tianxia you will give your name as An and you will be known as An," she stated with a firm nod. "You must also undergo a trial, which I will test you. And since you seem to find a guard suitable to you I would like you to meet me in the center of the southern lands for your trial," she told him, seriousness blanketing her expression. "Do you understand?"  

[Venexia]

Trust? Had he shattered it by leaving? Perhaps, but no guilt stirred within him. But perhaps he had. Still, in order to gain another’s trust – someone like Ming – he supposed old ties needed to be broken. Both could not coexist, and so he had to choose one or the other, he had chosen this pride over the other, and while there was hesitation, there was no regret. There was no time for regret; such feelings would only hold him down. Whether his actions were right, or wrong, he would have to face later, for now, he would dance on the thin line, the wire of right and wrong, and hope that his feet were dancing in the right spots.

He nodded, hesitation leaving him and his usual, serious features returning, taking their usual grasp over his face. His nod was a firm one, stiff and rigid, and yet it was powerful, sincere. He would not embarrass himself before the Lady, and, even worse, he would strive not to fail her. He would be a success, he would prove his worth.

***

He breathed in.

He was in the center, the heart of it all. His claws sank into the earth, and then released their hold, over and over again he flexed, releasing his nerves and preparing himself mentally. He exhaled slowly, breaths were steady, in, out, in, out. He would not be nervous, he would not mess this up. Not at all.

This was a trial, and he would not fail.