Patron Goddess

[-Eluveitie Eventide-]

I'm having problems finding my patron Goddess. Growing up I always had a strange attraction to Artemis and then the feeling sort of died away. Then here recently I've felt a strong connection with Rhiannon, even though a lot of people don't consider her a Goddess because she was primarily a queen, but that died away too. I don't have a patron Goddess at the moment, but I know that there's one for me because I have the strong feelings toward one and can feel a certain one constantly but I can't pinpoint her. I've tried meditating and things but it's still not helping. I'm not sure if I need help or not. I personally figure that maybe I don't need to focus on one specific one at the moment and there's a reason for one not coming to me even though I know in my heart that I have one. Do I need help or do you think that it's just that maybe it's for a certain reason and need to stop searching until she comes to me?  

[Violet Song jat Shariff]

Why do you feel that you need a patron goddess?

If you absolutely feel that you must have one, but you don't feel a pull towards one in particular, I would suggest just waiting. Like you said, perhaps it's just not time for it?  

[Sanguina Cruenta]

Firstly, I'd like to thank you for saying "patron" rather than "matron". Just because.

You know, you don't need a patron deity. It's not something that searching for will really bring you. The gods choose you, not the other way around; if a goddess or a god decides they want you, then there you are.

Their influence also seems to change over time. A patron may choose to hand you over to someone else, or their place in your life will change, etc. (I think I'm having a bad day with the thinking, or something. Mercury's not in retrograde, is it? *checks* Nope, not till May 7th. Mark your calendars, kids.)

But if you're feeling that someone is looking at you, there may be signs. Focus within the pantheon you're most familiar with first, and be on the look-out. If owls keep turning up, it may be Athena.

But out of interest, is there a reason you assume it is a goddess and not a god?  

[-Eluveitie Eventide-]

Sanguina Cruenta

Firstly, I'd like to thank you for saying "patron" rather than "matron". Just because.

You know, you don't need a patron deity. It's not something that searching for will really bring you. The gods choose you, not the other way around; if a goddess or a god decides they want you, then there you are.

Their influence also seems to change over time. A patron may choose to hand you over to someone else, or their place in your life will change, etc. (I think I'm having a bad day with the thinking, or something. Mercury's not in retrograde, is it? *checks* Nope, not till May 7th. Mark your calendars, kids.)

But if you're feeling that someone is looking at you, there may be signs. Focus within the pantheon you're most familiar with first, and be on the look-out. If owls keep turning up, it may be Athena.

But out of interest, is there a reason you assume it is a goddess and not a god?

I know that not everyone needs one, but I'm just wondering because I can sort of feel one, but don't know which one. Do you think that it could just be the goddess in general, and not a specific aspect of her?
I'm going to pay close attention to everything and if something turns up thn I'll know, if not then I'll wait. I might not even have one. It's just been striking me because i can feel one.
And I believe it to be a goddess because I feel feminine characteristics and emotions. I already have a patron god; Pan. I've always had a strong connection with him and it's never changed. And my feelings aren't leaning toward very masculine feelings.  

[Sanguina Cruenta]

-Eluveitie Eventide-

I know that not everyone needs one, but I'm just wondering because I can sort of feel one, but don't know which one. Do you think that it could just be the goddess in general, and not a specific aspect of her?
I'm going to pay close attention to everything and if something turns up thn I'll know, if not then I'll wait. I might not even have one. It's just been striking me because i can feel one.
And I believe it to be a goddess because I feel feminine characteristics and emotions. I already have a patron god; Pan. I've always had a strong connection with him and it's never changed. And my feelings aren't leaning toward very masculine feelings.

I question why you would want a patron goddess if you believe it's all the same goddess anyway. It's not a patron, because you only have one goddess. Why would you need a patron?

I don't understand this line of thinking at all.

Also, there are male gods with some feminine characteristics.  

[raging-earth]

I'm falling even more in love with you, letting go all I've held onto...

Personally, I would just wait. From what I've noticed, patrons like to reveal themselves in time. Some prefer to wait until you are at a stage in your life where their influence will be best suited for you. For example, Hecate avoided revealing herself to me until I entered college and I feel she was waiting for me to enter the next stage of my life, where I was finally accepting the idea of growing up.

It might be that part of this need to have a patron is an influence from the pagan culture around you. I've noticed that having a patron is something of a must to a lot of people. I've even met pagans that introduce themselves with not just their name, but their patron as well. Which is strange to me, because a patron isn't something to flash around. Not that I'm saying this is what you are doing, it's merely a thought that I felt like sharing, just for consideration's sake.

Perhaps instead of focusing on finding your patron goddess, you should focus on the pantheon in which She resides? Then you would be one less step away from discovering her. That's what I did when I was searching for my patrons and I ended up bouncing back and forth between Greek and Egyptian, which later made sense as my patron god is Egyptian.

Good luck with your search.

...I'm standing here until you make me move, I'm hanging by a moment here with you.

 

[-Eluveitie Eventide-]

raging-earth

I'm falling even more in love with you, letting go all I've held onto...

Personally, I would just wait. From what I've noticed, patrons like to reveal themselves in time. Some prefer to wait until you are at a stage in your life where their influence will be best suited for you. For example, Hecate avoided revealing herself to me until I entered college and I feel she was waiting for me to enter the next stage of my life, where I was finally accepting the idea of growing up.

It might be that part of this need to have a patron is an influence from the pagan culture around you. I've noticed that having a patron is something of a must to a lot of people. I've even met pagans that introduce themselves with not just their name, but their patron as well. Which is strange to me, because a patron isn't something to flash around. Not that I'm saying this is what you are doing, it's merely a thought that I felt like sharing, just for consideration's sake.

Perhaps instead of focusing on finding your patron goddess, you should focus on the pantheon in which She resides? Then you would be one less step away from discovering her. That's what I did when I was searching for my patrons and I ended up bouncing back and forth between Greek and Egyptian, which later made sense as my patron god is Egyptian.

Good luck with your search.

...I'm standing here until you make me move, I'm hanging by a moment here with you.

thanks, i'll try that.