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 Posted: Mon May 04, 2009 3:12 pm
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There's a pretty active furry community in the Michigan area, the larger group centered around the Detroit area where I live, and a smaller one in the Grand Rapids/Kalamazoo/Battle Creek/West Mich area. I've always been the quiet guy in the group, not making many friends because I was too shy. I wanted to get to know people more, and was happy when the guy who ran the furry community made a website with forum.
I was banned from the forum within a month of joining it. It had to do with one of the two owners deleting a thread that was about 4chan. The admin deleted the thread saying it was "off topic" in an "everything goes" board. I got into an argument with him, fueled by his inflammatory comments about anime being childish immature s**t, and was banned for a month.
A few months later my account still wasn't reinstated, and I finally was able to reach the owner of the board, who said "Oh, just reapply to the board." So I did, with a new account. That's what reapplying means, right? Got banned a second time for creating a second account when second accounts weren't allowed.
It took me 6 months to get my account back even after I explained that it was all a mistake. The guy who owns the board replies to emails once a month, it seems, and obviously was too busy to deal with actually running his board.
And then I was banned for the final time, for no stated reason. One moment my account was there, the next moment it was gone. I must have sent at least two or three polite, businesslike letters just asking what the hell had happened. I finally got a response about how he had heard too many complaints about me and I had caused too many problems. He listed several times that people had come up to him during furmeets and said that I was bothering them, and at least two instances of girls saying that I either touched them inappropriately or made them feel uncomfortable.
Now for someone who's pretty shy but does like to give hugs if people allow, I can't see myself as being loud or obnoxious or feeling up chicks, which I never remember doing. He ended the letter by saying that all he was doing was removing me from a group of people who ALL hated me. Strange that he was speaking for the entire group, when I had plenty of people who enjoyed my presence in the group.
Another admin sent me a message saying that it was because I was a horrible person, obnoxious, self-centered, an a*****e, and caused disruptions everywhere I went.
I think it boiled down to two things. One was when I was at the apartment of the two guys who run the fur group, and they claim I was disruptive and broke some of their stuff and they kicked me out, which I don't remember doing, but they claim was me. The second one was when the leader of the group was flaunting his weapons collection and I said I thought he was a nut for having so many guns.
Apparently all this banning and hatred is completely personal, due to the two "leaders" of the michigan fur community not liking me themselves.
Anyway, there is a point to this. All of this happened last year. I haven't been to a major furmeet in over a year and a half. The only meet I went to, after the whole banning and stuff, was a dorm-warming party, where no one had any problems with me and people actually offered to hang out with me more.
The leader of the fur group, when I told him I felt he had mistaken me for someone else in saying I was obnoxious and a troublemaker, offered me to talk to him during the next furmeet. Problem was, this was last summer, and he only had one furmeet since then, and I was away at a convention that weekend.
Now, for some odd reason, another furmeet is coming up in two weekends (furmeets used to be once a month... god knows what happened to that!). And you might wonder why I want to hang out with people who don't like me. I could care less about the leaders of the group or if they hate me, they can blow me for all I care. It's the rest of the group, some of whom are quite friendly to me, whom I want to hang out with more.
And I have no idea what to say to this guy or how to approach him after it's been nearly a year. I just want him to see that I'm not some sort of evil troublemaker off to ******** over everyone else. Knowing my luck, I'll have to work that weekend (THANK YOU SHITTY JOB!) and won't be able to confront him for another several months.
I wonder if I should even bother. But I do want to be more active with other furries in the area. It just doesn't help when the only venues for being social with furries in Michigan are being blocked by the guys who run said venues.
Sigh... sorry for the TL;DR.
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Posted: Mon May 04, 2009 6:32 pm
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Sounds like a lot of bad luck, mistaken identity, and/or people being jerks.... Just judging from what posts I remember, I don think you're anything like what those people supposedly said... (I could be wrong, but I wouldn't think so.)
Personally, I would say "screw it" and never go again and continue on my life of social isolation... But that's not productive! So, if you can, go, if you can't, don't worry. Even if you can only come by once and a while to a meet, that's something. And if you really want to stand out in a good way, be memorable. Don't like, get extremely drunk or crazy or something... Just...Look different maybe. I would personally dress up in a suit and tie, but that's me. It would make an impression and if you're as likable sounding as you seem, they should remember.
I should mention that there is a fairly local meet group thing of furries here in my place but I've never gone to them. It's an hour's drive, I'm super shy, wouldn't know anyone or what to do, I'm socially awkward, and...I don't see myself getting along with people easy because of how shy I am. Being "the weird guy who never talks" doesn't sound too good. Soooo...yeah, I'm not too experienced in this stuff. I could totally be wrong in all this. Just saying what may help potentially.
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Posted: Tue May 05, 2009 5:22 pm
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What worries me is what I'll do when I go. You talk about standing out and being memorable, not sure what to do in order to do that. Maybe be friendly, talk to everyone, introduce myself to people and be chatty? Not exactly the most chatty person though, I'll probably introduce myself and then have no idea what to talk about and walk away!
I wouldn't be surprised that people might get a bit of a hostile vibe from me, so many furs at these furmeets come up and randomly hug me or scratch my chest or belly.... I don't mind the hugs so much but I don't like scritches and I'd perfer people actually ASK me before they do it. We may be furries but we're fricking human and we must conform to local laws and personal space.
One of the things the group leader noted in his email is that he might have mistaken me for the wrong person, he doesn't know me well and is only going by what he's heard of me from others, and what he knows of me online and through our communications by email. And he's only heard some negative stuff about me from people who come up to him, which is not surprising. Being the leader of the group, people come up to him expecting him to solve their problems. So if I insult someone or offend someone, they'll whine to him.
The guy and I have barely talked, so all he knows about me is the complaints by others. Also, I have had some difficulty with the group before. There was the party mentioned before where his roomate claimed I destroyed or damaged a couple things, I don't remember that but do remember making a joke about plushie humping that kinda pissed the roommate off. On their old email list years ago, I asked for computer help only to get into an argument about the email list only being used for furry stuff, and that if I wanted computer help I should go to a repair store and PAY for it, and I retorted that many furs were professional comptuer techs and there was no other way of contacting them. There was the board conflicts.. the first one I started the thread about 4chan and apparenly they were afraid even mentioning 4chan would cause an invasion by /b/tards, the comment about gun collectors like the group leader being a bunch of nuts, the accidental creation of the second account, the admin complaining about my posts being too crude, sexual, over PG-13, too profane, bad jokes, ect....
But I figure it all boils down to the gun comment and the party where I made the plush hump joke and supposedly broke the stuff....
But the guy doesn't know me personally, he only knows me by all this bad stuff, some of it justified, some of it I did do, some of it I think are exggagerated or untruthful, so I have to go there and show him I'm a good guy and to give me a second chance...
Perhaps I do need to go in a business suit and a tie (and a limo???). But it's been a year since I talked to him so I have no idea what to say or what to do when I see him. I'm just worried about confronting him is all, not sure what to talk to him about, I'm bad at face to face confrontations. sweatdrop
There is another thing I'm trying to figure out. I brought my tail out of mothballs. It's a halloween store tail, $10, covered in a black fur fabric, with a wire inside to hold its shape. The tail had a very weak belt loop that ripped easily, so I sewed very thick elastic belt loops at the top. Now I want to fill it with new filling, since the current filling is that cheap yellow foam like matress cushions are made of. But I'm trying to figure out how and where to cut a hole so I don't do any major damage to it. Anyone ever make tails and have suggestions? sweatdrop
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Posted: Tue May 05, 2009 9:01 pm
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Posted: Tue May 05, 2009 9:58 pm
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KillerLee Perhaps I do need to go in a business suit and a tie (and a limo???). But it's been a year since I talked to him so I have no idea what to say or what to do when I see him. I'm just worried about confronting him is all, not sure what to talk to him about, I'm bad at face to face confrontations. sweatdrop
Well, you don't have to go all out, but if you're dressed very differently from everyone else, it would be hard to mistake you. If they really have problems with someone and can't identify you from them, they will be able to once they know you as "that suit guy". 3nodding
If you're really really worried, don't confront him for a while but show up now and then. Wait for him to bring it up. If he doesn't, and no other complaints are made about you, then say something and bring it up. Try not to be "you banned me you b*****d!", not that you would be. Just exaggerated a bit. I would just lightly mention that you believe you were mistaken for someone else and you would be really appreciative if you could get your account restored. ...This is probably after several meetings, if you can make it without anyone noticing or remembering all that from the past.
...And of course, talk to the leader person. Just don't mention that as the first thing you say to him.
I hope this helps somewhat. sweatdrop I don't know what else may help... |
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Posted: Thu May 14, 2009 3:00 pm
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Well it looks like I'll only be able to go for about 30-45 minutes thanks to my stupid job.
As for my tail, it does look like it's made inside out. There's one seam along the side. I think they sewed it inside out, leaving the base of the tail open, and then inverted it, and sewed the end shut. The problem is, I can't rip that top seam now that I've sewed thick belt straps to the top of the tail, I'd destroy that stitching as well.
So I tore open a hole on the back of the tail in between the belt loops where it won't be seen, and pulled out the metal that helps keep the tail's shape, and a piece of square yellow foam that's doubled over at the top.
I've washed the thing, and I'm ready to stuff it, but I'm wondering if there's a way to make the wire in it removable, like a piece of tube or something. I'm wondering how I'm supposed to sit down if the tail's kinda stiff.
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Posted: Tue May 19, 2009 1:33 pm
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Posted: Tue May 19, 2009 7:22 pm
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