Why? Why write like this? WHY?

[Mr Enigma Girl]

Somebody's profile on Gaia...

I'm sorry for the emotional damage this may cause. Get some water ready - your eyes may catch fire. Don't forget to stop, drop and roll.

Are you ready? Scroll down!








Are you sure you want to see this? Go on, then...

Quote:

STFU Biitchez!! If Yoou're A Hater Den Leave Diz Pro!! If you're not then sit yo azz doown and LISTEN[: Her names ------- or w/e. She's 11 i think and chyeah[: She be livin in the 916 Biitchez!![: She be wearin dem skinneh azz jeans cuuz they hot[; She be jocking 6th gradee STYLE!! D;< LOL!! Jkkayz. [: She is fuuckin hella funneh and shiit[: She be attending Irene B Weezy[: Aka a school for dummeh's[: She be hatin miley cyrus so don't be adding her or talking to her about miley cyrus cuuz miley cyrus is GHEEEY LIKE FUUCK!![: She be loving Selena Gomez but i guess she's ohkayz..[; She be lovin twilight also cuuz itz fuuckin AWSOME!! Don't be makin fun of twilight cauuse twilight is the SHIIET!![: Jazzy is skinny like FUUCK!!xD But itz hella sexaay[; NUU HOMO!![: She be working it at school with bball she be showing boys what girls can do in basketball[; She likes purple x.x SHE JOCKS MY SHIIT!! Jkkayz [: Don't be starting shiit with her cuuz i doont like it when people be starting shiit with my homieez cuz then i cuss yo azz ouut and u will fuucking regret starting shiit wit heer!! Mmkayz im done. LaLaLa. IFLY Homie!![: ♥

I left the name out for privacy.  

[Mr Enigma Girl]

Translated...

STFU (I'm not sure what that is) bitches! If you're a hate then leave this profile! If you aren't the sit your *** down and listen. Her name's --------- or whatever. She's eleven, I think and yeah. She's livng in the 916 bitches! She wears those skinny *** jeans because they're hot. She is jocking 6th grade style (what?) LOL! Joke. She is ****ing hell of a funny and ****. She attends Irene B Weezy, aka a school for dummies. She hates Miley Cyrus so don't add her or talk to her about Miley Cyrus because Miley Cyrus is gay like ****! She loves Selena Gomez but I guess she's okay. She loves Twilight also because it's ****ing awesome! Don't make fun of Twilight because Twilight it the SHIIET (I don't know what she's saying here either)! Jazzy is skinny like ****! But she is hell of a sexy - no homo! She is working it at school with basketball. She is showing boys what girls can do in basketball. She likes purple. She jocks my ****! Joke. Don't be starting **** with her because I don't like it when people start **** with my homies because then I curse your *** out and you will ****ing regret starting **** with her. Okay, I'm done. IFLY (this is why you TYPE YOUR WORDS OUT) homie!  

[Bruce of House Banner]

Shall we break this down a bit? *cracks knuckles* Here's my own, slightly more human-ish, translation!

Quote:

Shut the f-ck up, B--ches! If you're a hater then leave this profile! If you're not, then sit your a-- down and listen. (smilie)

Her name's ------- or whatever. She's 11, I think, and yeah.(smilie again)
She is living in the 916, B--ches!(smilie yet again) She is wearing those skinny-a-- jeans, because they are hot.(wink smilie)
She is in 6th grade! (mad..sad...possibly evil..smilie) Laugh out loud! Just kidding.(smilie)
She is f-cking very funny[[How do you do that? O.o]] and sh-t.(smilie)
She is attending Irene B Weezy,(smilie) also known as a school for dummies.(smilie)[[obviously]]
She hates Miley Cyrus, so don't add her or talk to her about Miley Cyrus, because Miley Cyrus is very,very gay!(smilie)
She loves Selena Gomez, but I guess she's okay...(wink smilie)
She loves Twilight also, because it's f-cking awesome! Don't make fun of Twilight, 'cause Twilight is the sh-t!(smilie) Jasper is very skinny, (big smilie) but it's really sexy.(wink smilie) [[finally, something I can agree with!]] He's not a homosexual!(smilie) [[I think that's what she's saying?]]
She is working it at school with basketball. She is showing boys what girls can do in basketball. (wink smilie)
She likes purple.(fainted smilie) She rocks my socks! [[This lady is living in the last century. "Jocks my sh-t" is an outdated phrase that nobody remembers, from the early 90's. Give me a break!]] Just kidding. (smilie)
Don't start sh-t with her, because I do not like it when people start sh-t with my homies. If you do, then I'll cuss you out and you will f-cking regret starting sh-t with her!

Okay, I'm done. Lalala. I F-cking love you, homie!(smilie) ♥

My gods...That must have taken at least an hour. I've never had the urge to fully translate a bigger idiot before now. sweatdrop
Somehow I feel a lot smarter after doing that.  

[Mr Enigma Girl]

So THAT'S what she was saying! Wow!

Have you ever considered translating TXT TLK for a living?  

[Bruce of House Banner]

n00bie fee

So THAT'S what she was saying! Wow!

Have you ever considered translating TXT TLK for a living?

Indeed. ^-^
I haven't considered that, but I have considered publishing a TXT TLK dictionary. smile I had to learn the language because quite a few of my wonderful, but not so literate, real-life friends employ it in their writing. If I could get paid, I would definitely work as a TXT TLK translator...
Hey! You just gave me an idea! I think I'll start a TXT TLK translating service here on 3G. biggrin Do you suppose people would pay for it?  

[Mr Enigma Girl]

I'm not sure they'd pay, but we could have a subforum for it. If we can't read something, we post it in the subforum and everyone tries to make sense out of it.

Oh my God! I've got an idea! We should find the worst profiles on Gaia, translate them and then send the good version to the author of the crappy version! Then, we'll give them GOLD or GIFTS for changing it! BRIBERY TIME!

Mind you, we'd need fireproof suits - we'd have to be prepared for a whole lot of flaming...  

[Bruce of House Banner]

Those are good ideas! biggrin
Let's do this! xd *puts on fireproof suit*  

[Mr Enigma Girl]

I'm right behind you!

*attempts to fit in suit*

Gah! I think I've got somebody else's suit! That, or I've really let myself go since that last visit to hell.

It's REALLY hot down there!  

[Psychotic Daizy Dukes]

Oh, nope! That's my suit. For my cat. Hunh. Here, I think this might be yours. That was odd.

-grabs her suit-

Oh, I know! But, really, Hel's not such a bad gal. I really need to go visit Niffelheim one day, she wants me to help her... Ah well.

So... Shall we?
 

[Bruce of House Banner]

Indeed we shall.
On a side note, Niffelheim sounds interesting.  

[Honeydukes Lover]

---START OF TRANSLATION ---

Shut the f--- up b!tches! If you're a hater then leave this profile! If you're not then sit your a-- down and LISTEN. [: Her names ______ or whatever. She's 11 i think and yeah. [: She's living in the 916 b!tches! [: She's wearing those skinny a-- jeans because they're hot. [; She is in 6th grade. D;< *laugh out loud* Just kidding. [: She is f---ing funny and sh!t. [: She is attending Irene B Weezy. [: As known as: A School for Dummies. [: She hates Miley Cyrus, so don't add her or talk to her about Miley Cyrus because Miley Cyrus is GAY AS F---!! [: She loves Selena Gomez, but i guess she's okay... [; She loves Twilight also because it's f---in AWESOME!! Don't make fun of Twilight because Twilight is the SH!T![: Jazzy is skinny like F---!! xD But is really sexy[; NO HOMOSEXUAL! [: She is really good at basketball. [; She likes purple. x.x She rocks my socks! Just kidding. [: Don't start sh!t with her because I don't like it when people are starting sh!t with my friends because then I curse your a-- out and u will f---ing regret starting sh!t wit her!! Okay I'm done. Lalala. I f---ing love you friend! [: ♥

---END OF TRANSLATION---

Eeegads, that was horrifying! *shiver*