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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 11:56 pm
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Posted: Fri Jul 10, 2009 1:33 pm
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 7:19 pm
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Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 8:35 pm
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A rather decent poem. I have a few bits of input if you doin't mind. =]
Quote: Red the the senses of a demon Did you mean to do that??
Quote: Black like the darkness of nightRed like the blossoming of a rose Black like the shadows that feed on the night Double night doesn't make your poem flow. Not only that, but the last line is too long. If you read it aloud, it really upsets the rhythm of your poem...
You could even keep both nights if you found a way to shorten the last line...
But that's all...Other than that I really rather liked it =]
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Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 9:12 pm
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Birth Of Originality A rather decent poem. I have a few bits of input if you doin't mind. =] Quote: Red the the senses of a demon Did you mean to do that?? Quote: Black like the darkness of nightRed like the blossoming of a rose Black like the shadows that feed on the nightDouble night doesn't make your poem flow. Not only that, but the last line is too long. If you read it aloud, it really upsets the rhythm of your poem... You could even keep both nights if you found a way to shorten the last line... But that's all...Other than that I really rather liked it =]
thank you. ill make sure to edit it.
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Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 6:20 pm
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Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2009 1:02 pm
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Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2009 1:25 pm
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Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2009 1:38 pm
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Posted: Sun Aug 02, 2009 1:47 am
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Posted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 1:38 pm
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Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 12:48 pm
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Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 10:04 pm
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Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 10:38 pm
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