"Annoying Primate"

As I went walking down the street,

a tiny chimp I happened to meet.

He followed me all through the park;

skipped behind me 'til it got dark.

He walked with me to my front door;

the skies opened, and rain began pour.

I wish I'd left him out in the rain,

the chimp that slowly drove me insane!

Since I let him in that day,

he won't leave; he wants to stay!

It's bananas this and bananas that!

That darn chimp even ate my hat!

I tried my best to tell him, "Shoo!",

but all that got me was chimp-flung poo!

I called the zoo to take him away,

but they had no room for him to stay.

Then yesterday when I came home,

I found that monkey on the phone!

From my chandelier he hung by a toe,

as he talked on the telly to his Aunt Flo.

The more he talked, the more he swung.

Now there's a hole where the chandelier hung.

He'd invited all his uncles, aunts, and cousins.

They were agreeing to visit by the dozens!

I grabbed the bugger and threw him in a sack.

"That's the last straw," I said, tossing him on my back.

I ran to the nearest bridge with ape in tow;

thought, into the river the sacked ape I'd throw.

But then I thought to send him by mail,

to a place of eternal snow, ice, and hail.

He'll soon arrive in the land of frigid climate,

and at last I'll be rid of that annoying primate!

So in celebration of my elated loss,

I took the day off and called my boss.

"I'm sick in bed," to him I said,

"I've got this awful ache in my head."

Instead of bed, I went to the park,

and as the day turned from light to dark,

I came upon this tiny box.

Inside of it was a tiny fox.

Then out of nowhere, storm clouds came,

and wouldn't you know, it began to rain.

I just couldn't leave that cute fox alone!

And, yep, you guessed it, he followed me home!
~END~

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