Blindness

[peacegal45]

The night closes in on us
Scared into beliving
Hiding
We can't show true colors
Sinking into the depths of darkness
Blindness

please critque, i love comments that will help me improve!  

[Dark Angel Videl]

Critique: Make it longer, this would be a great beginnign for a poem.
It's to short and I don't know what you are talking about in it.
make it longer (like 2 more of these verses) and you would see the improvements.

don't get me wrong okay, you did a good job so far but i think you should make it longer.

Good luck wink