This is a new story I have been working on. I wanted to know if it was even worth continuing to write this one.
Fare warning this part is sad. I was crying as I wrote this.
Please rate but I know there are a few errors in it. I just wanted to know if it was even worth continuing with it.
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Tala was a young and powerful mage that was sent to live with a general named Zan-yo. Tala was ripped away from her parents when she was three and she never forgot that day. It was dark and cold as her parents had dragged her out of their house. Her mother’s golden brown hair was a mess and her blue eyes sparkled in the moon light. She had a heart shaped face and soft rounded features. Her father was carrying a small bag as he left the house. He was a tall strong man, with mahogany hair, emerald green eyes, a rectangular face and angular features. “Where are we going?” asked Tala. Her mother responded in a soothing voice, “We are going to take a short walk to the ocean.” The ocean was Tala’s favorite place to go when she was little. Tala grabbed her father’s hand and then her mothers.
Tala was a little girl, with wide blue eyes, large fox ears, a fluffy tail and white hair. Like her mother she had a heart shaped face and rounded features. “Okay,” Tala chimed, as they walked on. Tala smiled and looked up at the stars as they walked. They walked through the thick woods, with the stars being their only source of light. The family entered a small clearing and Tala looked at her mother. “Mommy, where are we? This isn’t the ocean,” asked Tala confused. Tala’s mother placed a necklace around her neck and kissed her. A ship was on the other side of the clearing and a man stepped out. The pilot was a heavy set man, with red hair, green eyes, fox ears and a tail. It was a small cargo ship, Tala had seen many cargo ships before but none of them were that small. The pilot approached the family and asked, “Is this the child?” All Tala’s parents could do was nod but that seemed to be enough of an answer for him. The pilot grabbed Tala’s bag and picked her up. Tala screamed and tried to wriggle free from the pilot’s grip. “Mommy, Daddy, help!” Tala screamed over and over again.
Tala’s mother began to cry and turned to her husband for comfort. He wrapped his arms around his wife and looked at Tala. Tala tried even harder to break free from the man but it was no use. The man put her in the ship and began to prep the ship for take off. As the ship lifted off the ground she saw her parents bellow and her mother crying. Tala’s father was crying too and shouted “I love you!” Tala began to bang on the ship window and started screaming for help. The ship took off and Tala watched her parents disappear into the darkness. The ship back of the ship was cluttered with cargo yet Tala still tried to escape. After a moment the forest disappeared all together and Tala saw her little planet get smaller and smaller. As the ship pulled away tears rolled down Tala’s cheeks and watched her home disappear into the darkness. Tala curled up and began to cry. She cried for a while and then fell a sleep on the seat.
The ship pulled into a cargo bay and Tala woke from the large amount of noise the ship made when it landed. The cargo bay opened and the man pulled Tala out. “Child 2447is here,” he said to an older man. This man was odd; he had no ears or tail. Tala had never seen a man like him before. “Okay, I’ll take it from here,” said the man. The pilot bowed and handed the man Tala’s bag. Tala followed the man as he took her to another part of the dock. Many people were unloading goods and reloading. Everyone was different looking, and no two looked a like. Some of these people had wings, others had tails. Some had scales, others had tentacles and some were something else all together. Tala followed the man through the crowd to a transport pod. The man turned around and said, “My name is General Zan-yo, I am a general of the Tri-Star Fleet. You can call me Zan if you like.” Tala nodded and looked small pod, “That’s a small ship for a general.” Zan-yo laughed and said, “This is a shuttle my ship is too big and is on a different dock.”