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 Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 6:36 am
 Tepe had been ill at ease since the news of his father's death. The Simo were no longer friendly, it seemed, and had become at best highly cautious of the newcomers. He'd often see them talking together, watching one of the little nomad band...himself included. Part of him had wanted to leave or to hide away from their inconsiderate stares, but that would only draw more attention. Already teased for his side, and now they thought he'd killed his own father...Admittedly he had been his adopted father, but still. If you asked him they should have been staring at each other, not the newcomers...He growled under his breath and stalked out of the den onto the sands. Right now he felt he could bear even Kenna's fierce stare.
They all think it's one of us who did it...But it must have been one of them! They're rude, they stare at us and judge us. We lived together for years before and was anyone killed then?
...Oh mother, where are you? Someone's hurt you...I should go find her. Protect her, comfort her...She's done so much for me...
Siri'wasii, his dear mother, was hurting. She'd saved him from death as a cub and taken him as her own, it was the least he could do to find her, and do what he could to ease her sorrows. To that end he was prowling across the sands and at his mother's favorite haunts. "Mother," He called out, finally spotting her familiar form. "Mother...it's Tepe. I...are you alright? I haven't seen you around much..." He padded quickly to her, slowing a few pace back and waiting for her to respond to his words.
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Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 10:36 am
He was gone, and she felt that loss. She had never been the best mate Epesi could ever had, but she had tried to be good to him. They had never been lovebirds, but they had gotten along, and she had been in his company for so long that she... Siri'wasii shook her head, silencing her thoughts because it made her feel sick. No, she hadn't loved him, not in the way that is told by storytellers and the like. But they had been close, she had known him more than the other lions, and she was the only one who could be so devastated by losing him. She found it harder to hang around with Kimacho and the rest of the group... especially Tepe. Despite fears that she would end up like her dearly departed mate, she just needed to be alone.
She loved Tepe, she could remember the day they had stumbled across one another. But, Tepe had been such a source of conflict between her and her mate, and it made her even harder to be around him now. All he did now was remind her of those times, and it made her more sad. She didn't think she could miss someone so much, but she missed Epesi dearly. She wanted to rewind through time, back to the very first day she had met him. Siri wanted to do right by him, wanted to try and stop her helplessly flirtatious ways. She wanted to be more loyal, more devoted... more loving. And now she just didn't have the chance. It was too late. She shouldn't have caved in, should have made Epesi leave the desert before they came to the Firekin lands. If she had been her normal self, firm in her ways, she could have convinced Epesi not to come here. He'd still be alive and she... wouldn't be hurting so much.
The red lioness laid down, burying her face into her front paws to try and somehow constrict her grief, keep it bottled up until she felt... safe.
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Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 12:28 pm
Poor Siri...He could see how much she was hurting. He hesitated, paws shifting in the sand, but finally he made his mind and took a few steps towards her, closing the distance. He stood over her in silence. He couldn't know how deeply his actions against Epesi had hurt their relationship. In his mind his father had been something of a fool, and their arguing had hurt Siri...He'd only wanted to help defend her, and didn't realize that he himself was the start of several of their arguments. At least he didn't think he had, not since he was young. Those memories had faded though, and often it seemed they fought just to fight, and usually he'd say Epesi started it.
Poor poor Siri...She obviously needed someone to comfort her, to tell her it'd be alright. He certainly wouldn't want to be alone just now...He bent down to nose her. "Mom...you okay?" His voice was soft and quiet, almost a little afraid sounding.
I don't like it when mom's sad...It makes me worry. Makes me...angry.
He quelled his simmering thoughts. There'd be time for vengeance once they knew who the finger of blame would point to. A portion of his anger was at Epesi himself.
He shouldn't have died. He made mom sad by dying. But he made her angry sometime when he was alive too...I guess maybe it's good that...
He nosed her again and sat down, letting his shadow give her some shade to lay in. "Mom...it's okay. I...I miss him too. But you're here. And I'm here. Don't be sad mom..."
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Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 5:45 pm
The lion she was trying to avoid the most, her own son, had found her. At this point, though, she didn't want to shrug him off and run away to grieve on her own some more. No, she wanted someone to help her through this sadness, and there was only so long that she could run from it. It had caught up with her, and she had never felt worse in the entirety of her life. She sucked in a deep breath to calm herself. Still, she couldn't lift her head to look Tepe in the eyes. Siri could tell that he was sitting there right beside her, and that, for now, was enough.
"I will be, don't worry." Siri didn't sound like herself, her usual playful, flirtatious-inclined self was gone for the moment. It was only a sign of how much Epesi's death had effected her. She had cared for him, even if she hadn't been in love, and that was enough to have her grieving. She was an emotional creature by nature.
"I just wish... he was here too. We had our moments, but he was a part of my life, an important part... and I... miss him." Her voice was small, shaking just slightly underneath, but she wasn't going to let herself cry now. She had cried earlier, and now that Tepe was here she had the urge to hold it all back. She had distanced herself from him for a reason, and maybe if she kept it all in he'd be reassured enough to leave her be to properly grieve alone. She wasn't sure it'd work, Tepe was her son. He would probably be able to tell she was upset, even if she tried her hardest not to seem that way.
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Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 5:21 pm
Tepe could see right through what little facade of calmness his mother tried to put up. She'd raised, if not from birth, and he knew her far too well to fall for it. She responded to his presence, which made him glad, and he set to gently grooming her shoulders to calm her further. It felt good to know that she saw him as someone she could share these dark times with.
He listened to her words and made little noises of reassurance. He had been a part of both of their lives...but he was almost surprised at how much she seemed to be missing him. They fought so often, and often so badly, that he was almost taken aback..and a little disappointed...that she showed no signs of relief.
"I know you miss him mother...I do too," It was a partial lie. He would miss some parts of his 'father', but he couldn't deny the relief he felt. "But...you two fought so much. I know it sounds cruel but I can't help but wonder that you're not a little...glad now. It sounds horrible to say, but I know a part of me is glad that you won't be at each other's throats any more...Or am I wrong to think that way, mother?"
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Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 11:54 pm
She stiffened, and not in the way that fought off her grief, but rather she didn't like what Tepe was saying. Siri loved her son, but Epesi had just been killed... and she couldn't look on the bright side of things. Sure, they had their conflicts, they had fought plenty of times, but Epesi had never been a bad lion. Their arguments had never went beyond words. "Tepe..." she warned him that it wasn't a topic she was currently comfortable with. It was too soon, she was still too sore of the loss of Epesi's life. With a frown, the red lioness sat up, fighting back the tears in her eyes to fix upon Tepe a stern look.
"It is cruel," she sniffed, but she didn't think poor of Tepe for speaking in such a way. She just didn't want to hear it, didn't want to think they were better off without Epesi. "I'm not glad he's dead, Tepe. Yes, we fought, but he was hardly... a bad lion." She shook her head, yellow eyes casting down to the desert floor. It was a miracle she was putting up with the conversation at hand, but it was Tepe she was speaking with, her beloved son that she had been so avidly avoiding before. "You're not wrong to think it, maybe wrong to think it so soon... but, you're right, we won't be at each other's throats anymore."
Epesi was gone, and she still ached because of it.
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Posted: Fri Aug 28, 2009 5:29 pm
Tepe hurriedly backed off at his mother's warning, silencing himself by doubling his efforts to clean her fur. It got so sandy out here, his mouth hurt from the tough grains and he'd be tasting the ground for days, but he didn't stop his grooming. When she pulled away and fixed him with such a look of...he'd almost call it disappointment he bowed his head and nodded submissively. He should have known better...
He nuzzled her, nodding. "I am sorry mother...I won't say things like that again. I am glad that you won't hurt from your fights any more, but...I'm sorry that you miss him so much. I know I miss him...but not like you. He was your mate in the end, and I suppose that love is different from that a...son would have for his father." That was one way of putting the emotions he'd felt for Epesi at least.
During their talk the sun had shifted in the sky, and Tepe felt his gut rumble. It seemed cruel that he would leave Siri just to feed, but nothing good would come of it if they both went hungry. He could always catch something and bring it back. Maybe a little food would distract her from the loss. He stood up and backed up a few paces. "I think I might go get food for us, mother. I know you can't be hungry now but...Epesi wouldn't want you to starve yourself, I think. If you'd rather, I'll stay though. Would you like me to stay with you or...?"
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Posted: Fri Aug 28, 2009 5:41 pm
Siri was relieved that the topic of conversation was going to be dropped. She just wasn't in the mood to think that way, and it felt wrong, to talk like that when Epesi was just recently dead. It felt like a betrayal, not to someone she had loved, but he still was a significant part of her life, having been her mate. Later when this all blew over she'd have to think about it, how life possibly could be better now that Epesi wasn't around for her to argue so much with. At the moment, though, her mind couldn't focus around that fact. Another sad sigh was breathed into the air, and she flopped back down onto her side, letting her face rest in the dirt. Siri could be vain about her appearance, but right now she didn't seem to care.
"It's all right, I don't blame you," she replied soothingly. Tepe was her son, and she loved him no matter what he said, or how he behaved. She had been so much closer to her adopted son than to her mate... She looked up at Tepe, and flashed him a reassuring smile. "I'll be fine, I know we fought plenty of times, but I haven't been without him for a long while. Some things you get used to, and when those things are suddenly snatched away it takes some getting used to."
She heard her son's stomach rumble, and she laughed softly, a dry, hollow sound, but she seemed to be making herself cheer up a bit. "It's probably best you do get us a hearty meal. I'm going to be fine, and will wait right here for you to return." Again she sat up, and leaned over to her son to affectionately lick his cheek. "Go on, don't worry about me."
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Posted: Sat Aug 29, 2009 8:30 am
That Siri was willing to talk, and willing to eat reassured Tepe. Maybe things wouldn't be as bad as he feared they'd be after all. He bumped his nose to his mothers and nodded. "I'll bring back something good to help you feel better," And turned to leap away. As he went, his smile shifted to a frown that Siri couldn't see. This might be a little more complicated than he thought, but at least Siri seemed alright...
~Fin
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