Choo

[The Egg Man]

Hello there, everybody.

So here we have my comic, Choo.

Please hold off on reading the comments I have left on Deviantart until critiquing the comic. I don't want it to influence your judgment.
Page 1
Page 2
Page 3
Page 4
Page 5
Page 6
Page 7
Page 8

The Materials:
Drafting table
8.5 x 11 computer paper
2B graphite pencil
Gummy Eraser
Faber-Castell artist pens. (S, F, and M)
Photoshop CS4

The Process:
Wrote Script
Did thumbnails
Laid out pages
Did page by page
Draw out in pencil
Ink
Erase Pencil and fine tune the inking
Scanned pages and brought them into Photoshop for adding tones and additional clean up
Printed (I'll add photos of the printed book later)

I'm looking for honest critique. If you think it's garbage, that's fine. Just tell me how do it better next time.  

[Goshujin Sama]

well i like the overall conclusion .. even tough i needed to read it twice before i got it xD. It was kinda hard to understand that last part of switch back to the start of the story. Seeing the beast eat another planet with like small text bubbles with "help", "ahh the rapture", etc might have been beter to make the link.

also its kinda annoying you stopped doing basic colors (the gray stuff) after like 2 pages. you dont use alot of diffrent line thickness so its really hard to see what is what. even tough you did try to outline the foreground objects a little thicker, it barely helps.

Also when doing tekst either sketch it out first or just type it on the computer ... because some words are really stuffed into those boxes making them hard to read.

Its also really noticable that you only use sqaure or rectangle panal boxes. next time you could experiment with the shape of the panel box to enhance the feeling of perspective or movement of an object.

other than that it was alright smile

also not sure if you ever read "Understanding comics", but it's a comic book about making comics, its really good. You might get some new insights about making comics out of there

torrent is here: http://isohunt.com/torrent_details/131499265/understanding+comics?tab=summary

anyways thats my 60 cents  

[The Egg Man]

I've considered re-doing page 8, because I didn't think it was very well done or understandable.

Unfortunately, I ran out of time and wasn't able to finish with the toning. I figured I'd upload the comic before going back to edit it, just to see if there was anything else I could fix.

Thank you for your input and I'll be sure to check that comic out.  

[quaxcalibur]

I like the story. It's short, cute, and fun.

if you have a choking deadline, I don't know how much some crits is going to help you out. I agree with goshu on the line quality/word.

making comics- by the same author is a bit more comprehensive, both books are well suited to your cause. I rented a copy from the library and it's on auto renew until I die. smile  

[The Egg Man]

Glad you liked it, Quax.

The choking deadline really only shows in the fact that I didn't have time to add tones. All other ******** ups, I take full responsibility for.

Hmmmm, maybe I'll actually go to my local library. I kind of like, forgot it existed until just now.  

[Kieden]

I love how your style is evolving quicker than usual! Goshujin practically covered everything I spotted!


If you go to http://www.dafont.com you can download loads of fonts all for free.

If you don't know how to install em, google is your best friend :3

All I can say is work on your linework and paneling. You had some dynamic parts which was good, but you could've made it more mint with some neat linework. The story was well executed, but somewhat of a prequel of how the two man people met and how the situation came to occur and what made everyone realize the world would cease. To make a more emotional impact in the last few panels of the first page you might want to flesh it out here and there on what caused that emotional moment.

Since you plan to start it off as a web comic, you'll only get better. Just don't bale on like I did most of my re re comics, lmao. Once you end something in a full manner you will feel alot better with your self, lmao.  

[Dr.Genocide]

Yeah man it's pretty ******** good pretty all the things wrong with it that I saw have been hit one already, line quality and stuff like that.

Definitely experiment with paneling a little bit, even if you just do regular boxy panels, you can still make them more interesting based on how you position them and how you use panel breaks.

Not to sound like I'm some sort of pro or anything as I'm not, but check out me and my friends comics we did for a tournament we were in on Deviantart.

We mostly used square panels, but I tried to position them to help the readability and to make it more interesting.

http://zenrider.deviantart.com/art/AatR-Glen-and-Ren-audition-127975299  

[DemiChaos]

i left what i thought on your deviant page 8 comment section egg  

[The Egg Man]

Thanks guys.

Kieden, I actually forced a style change for this one. I wanted a softer look for obvious reasons.

I plan to a little bit of flash back stuff scattered throughout the comic.

Oh yeah, I favorited a page of that on DA, Zen.

That you did, Demi.