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 Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 7:45 pm
InfamousZee eat chu up I don't mind sharing. I used to be a very very religious person. But 3 years ago my favorite cousin, who's basically so close to me she's like my sister, ended up getting cancer. I was very upset with the news that i gave up believing in Allah. I hated that even though i was following everything allah asked, a person so dear to me had to end up with such a disease. After that, i kind of stopped praying a bit. I would only pray magrib (evening prayer) and mostly skip all the rest. And even when i did pray my evening prayer, my heart wasnt into it at all. It felt all fake. Right now, my cousin is better and after going through chemo the cancer is gone alhamdulillah. The last few months, i've forced myself mentally to get back into the habit of praying 5 times a day. I pray, yes, but i still have a hard time believing my prayers for the people i care about will come true. I still believe in allah, but it's hard to believe that he will listen to my prayers if i follow everything and become really religious again.Second Part. LOl! Yes, theres a second part. xD During those 3 years i gave up on Allah. I started flirting with a lot of guys. I ended up going out with this guy who was 4 years older, american, and a christian. I know some people out there must have strict parents like mine who say "marry a muslim or you're getting kicked out." or "marry someone our culture. end of story." I value my parents a lot. But i went out with this guy behind their back anyways. ninja <<< (jk on the smiley. Lol ) I felt bad, but i still fell head over heels for the guy. =/ He was really understanding and kind of religious himself. We had a lot of religious talks and he understood me in everyway. I really wanted to spend my life with him. But i couldn't. I was basically torn between a love and a my family/religion. I don't know what the right choice was, but i chose my family. I broke up with him but we still talk a lot. He says he still loves me a lot. And he's changed a lot for me too while we were going out. I feel horrible that he's doing so much for me, and all i can do is reject it. cry And my parents aren't at all understanding about this. We still talk and see eachother enough to be going out. My question is... should i stop all contact with him? I deffinately don't want to but...i dont know what to do. confused I don't want him to be hung over me and expect a future when i can't really give him that. =/ *sigh* can i get some opinions?...if u had patience enough to read all that xD Part One : Aww Im So Sorry About That ; But Never Give Up ; Sometimes What Allah May Choose For Us Is The Best All You Can Do Is Ask Allah For Forgivness (What My Mom Taught me. Sometimes We Do Thing That We Dont Know Is Wrong But You Just Have To Ask For Forgivness] Part Two: This Is Hard Haha ; But I'll Try My Best Well No I Dont Think You Should But In What Ways Has He Changed? Did He Convert Or What? But Try To Talk To Your Parents In A Calm Way ; Sit Them Down & Talk. No Screaming & No Yelling ] If You Understand Hindi Then You Might Have Seen A Movie Called "My name is Khan" About A Muslim Guy Falling For A Hindu Girl. They Loved Each Other Dearly & They Got Married The Girl Stayed Hindu & The Man Stayed Muslim Maybe You Could Try That? (You Stay Muslim & He Stays Chirstian] I Mean We Sometimes Have To Take Chances Dont We? (Sorry If I Didnt Really Help] I've seen that movie and loved it ya!! um.. the situation is different.. because muslim men can marry women of different religions but its actually not a good thing for a muslim woman to marry a man of another religion since the man has the authority in marriage.. so its like a man of another religion having authority over a muslim woman. This upsets Allah and surely we dont want to do that.. Now I do know some Muslimahs who had indeed married a man of another religion and even had children with them, and are living happily together but I don't know.. This actually reminds me of myself.. long story though.. and also this reminds me of another Hindi movie...cant think of the name.. its old though really good though.. its about a Sikh man who falls in love with a Muslim woman.. different perspective than my name is Khan.. I'll tell you the name when I find it out. heart heart
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Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 7:49 pm
eat chu up Aneesha Lantis im on that struggle right now... and i hope i can surpass it... i pray to Allah s.w.t. for strength and guidance... it's good u asked... so that i could spill out all my problems... hehe school is ripping my head off me... i swear... it gets harder and harder as days go by... whatever i do, my grades keep on flunking... i dont knw why... i never leave my study table behind, i tell yah... but still, it's not enough... have u ever experienced something like you've been sitting on your butt while studying for 12 hours till your butt gets numb... and then you'll just end up having a failing score in your quiz???? it's really frustrating, andrew... i think im gonna be crazy.... i know what you mean and i have been through it as well. I studied like crazy for the standardized assessment. I studied for months and weeks on end during summer. My parents drove me nuts with all the studying. But in the end when i took the test and got the results back...it was kinda low =/ something i did not expect. But the thing is, i learned to take a break and get away from it all for a while. like a week or so. and then slowly get back to studying, and it helps. Also, it was because of the pressure that i flunked actually. lol! i didnt notice it but it was cuz there was so many other things in my head during the test that i didnt even understand what i was doing. xD But yeah, when you study, try to take a 5 minute break and take deep breaths. clear your head for a bit. Walk around outside or something and then go back to studying. =) Thats all i can give you ^^; I hate when that happens, and then you look at the marked test like " I know this stuff!! What the HECK was I thinking?!?!?!" I'm pretty hard on myself so I keep the messed up test in my folder so that whenever I look at it, It tells me.. don't you dare do this again or you will turn into a pony and spend the rest of your life as one crying yeah tell myself some weird stuff.. but it works blaugh I'm on distinguished honors
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Posted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 10:56 am
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Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 8:25 pm
Oh, I guess I'll share...I've been through a lot of very huge struggles (to me they were). Most of my life has been a struggle, really. Had an abusive (a little bit physically, but mostly mentally) stepfather in my life for many years who scarred my mind & put fear into me. He made me believe I was worthless, that I would never amount to anything & that I knew nothing. Even after he was gone, it still bothered me. & I've been depressed for most of my life (I won't go into extreme details because it would take pages & pages & even then it wouldn't be enough)...especially the last four years; they were the worst. I turned to self-mutilation & constantly said terrible things to myself. I felt alone, isolated, hurt, fearful, lost...but somehow, by Allah's magnificent will, I met someone who changed my life (though it has taken time & I'm still working to become more okay & bettered). I fell in love with Him (we aren't dating, we are "committed" to each other, as we call it; we hope to marry someday [he had to change schools & next year we're both off to eight years of college so we use the internet mainly for contact, but we're still completely in love, which is amazing, he amazes me, alhamdulillah for his existence in this sometimes lonely world]) & he's helped me conquer my problems. He was the one who helped me to find Islam. He's been Muslim for quite a long time (most of his life, about) & he suggested it to me, so I studied it which then I found the TRUTH, finally. & it's taken a long time, but I'm committed to Allah & following the deen, & His will, no matter how difficult. Allah has helped me so much already. I may still feel lots of sadness, but I don't feel alone anymore (well, from other humans, yes, except my love, but still, Allah is more than enough). Many things in my past affected me such as my mother being an alcoholic who often left my sister & myself alone (so I raised my sister mostly), my older sister used to have problems so she was gone almost my whole life (until now at least), I was neglected a lot...but I feel strong & blessed that I got through the worst. I almost committed suicide as well, but alhamdulillah, I pulled through. I am thankful for what I have & always pray to Allah to help me get through all the rest I must face (it's not over, but I shall not fall into what I used to). May He guide me & all others who are in great need of help (& we all need Him).
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Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 10:15 pm
Saddest Shade of Kitsune Oh, I guess I'll share...I've been through a lot of very huge struggles (to me they were). Most of my life has been a struggle, really. Had an abusive (a little bit physically, but mostly mentally) stepfather in my life for many years who scarred my mind & put fear into me. He made me believe I was worthless, that I would never amount to anything & that I knew nothing. Even after he was gone, it still bothered me. & I've been depressed for most of my life (I won't go into extreme details because it would take pages & pages & even then it wouldn't be enough)...especially the last four years; they were the worst. I turned to self-mutilation & constantly said terrible things to myself. I felt alone, isolated, hurt, fearful, lost...but somehow, by Allah's magnificent will, I met someone who changed my life (though it has taken time & I'm still working to become more okay & bettered). I fell in love with Him (we aren't dating, we are "committed" to each other, as we call it; we hope to marry someday [he had to change schools & next year we're both off to eight years of college so we use the internet mainly for contact, but we're still completely in love, which is amazing, he amazes me, alhamdulillah for his existence in this sometimes lonely world]) & he's helped me conquer my problems. He was the one who helped me to find Islam. He's been Muslim for quite a long time (most of his life, about) & he suggested it to me, so I studied it which then I found the TRUTH, finally. & it's taken a long time, but I'm committed to Allah & following the deen, & His will, no matter how difficult. Allah has helped me so much already. I may still feel lots of sadness, but I don't feel alone anymore (well, from other humans, yes, except my love, but still, Allah is more than enough). Many things in my past affected me such as my mother being an alcoholic who often left my sister & myself alone (so I raised my sister mostly), my older sister used to have problems so she was gone almost my whole life (until now at least), I was neglected a lot...but I feel strong & blessed that I got through the worst. I almost committed suicide as well, but alhamdulillah, I pulled through. I am thankful for what I have & always pray to Allah to help me get through all the rest I must face (it's not over, but I shall not fall into what I used to). May He guide me & all others who are in great need of help (& we all need Him). Mashaallah!! It's good you've found Islam...
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Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 10:17 pm
My worst experience is leaving my old school and never said goodbye. I never saw my wonderful friends again. Silence hurts more than good bye.
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Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 5:27 pm
Aneesha Lantis Saddest Shade of Kitsune Oh, I guess I'll share...I've been through a lot of very huge struggles (to me they were). Most of my life has been a struggle, really. Had an abusive (a little bit physically, but mostly mentally) stepfather in my life for many years who scarred my mind & put fear into me. He made me believe I was worthless, that I would never amount to anything & that I knew nothing. Even after he was gone, it still bothered me. & I've been depressed for most of my life (I won't go into extreme details because it would take pages & pages & even then it wouldn't be enough)...especially the last four years; they were the worst. I turned to self-mutilation & constantly said terrible things to myself. I felt alone, isolated, hurt, fearful, lost...but somehow, by Allah's magnificent will, I met someone who changed my life (though it has taken time & I'm still working to become more okay & bettered). I fell in love with Him (we aren't dating, we are "committed" to each other, as we call it; we hope to marry someday [he had to change schools & next year we're both off to eight years of college so we use the internet mainly for contact, but we're still completely in love, which is amazing, he amazes me, alhamdulillah for his existence in this sometimes lonely world]) & he's helped me conquer my problems. He was the one who helped me to find Islam. He's been Muslim for quite a long time (most of his life, about) & he suggested it to me, so I studied it which then I found the TRUTH, finally. & it's taken a long time, but I'm committed to Allah & following the deen, & His will, no matter how difficult. Allah has helped me so much already. I may still feel lots of sadness, but I don't feel alone anymore (well, from other humans, yes, except my love, but still, Allah is more than enough). Many things in my past affected me such as my mother being an alcoholic who often left my sister & myself alone (so I raised my sister mostly), my older sister used to have problems so she was gone almost my whole life (until now at least), I was neglected a lot...but I feel strong & blessed that I got through the worst. I almost committed suicide as well, but alhamdulillah, I pulled through. I am thankful for what I have & always pray to Allah to help me get through all the rest I must face (it's not over, but I shall not fall into what I used to). May He guide me & all others who are in great need of help (& we all need Him). Mashaallah!! It's good you've found Islam...
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Posted: Tue Apr 13, 2010 2:07 am
Kitsune mashallah smile That's very good ^_^
Ayame, I can see ur sum malay/indo girl from ur name razz
But Ayame, don't worry about it smile Make a facebook and re-find them if its such a big problem lol if not, then just continue life and keep praying for them smile
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