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The Pages of Misconception
If you only knew the effort. I took time for you. I have lain with you, wavering on the pulse of your heart. I think about you constantly every single day. Not a day goes by... Not a single day goes by that I don't think about you. I think of you the moment I wake up. I see you waking up beside me. The thought of you swells up in my mind when I am happy. It erupts when I am sad. When I'm alone, I curse myself and this world. Most of all, I curse love. You are too powerful. You have taken all my power away from me. I enjoy your power. I linger in between the lines of sabotage and breakage. I am on a cliff, standing at the edge, waiting for your command to jump, trusting in your faith and good heart that with all hopes I will fly. But we yield and wait for our destructions. I think of you every day. Your scent! Goddess, help me! I know your scent. I have fallen too deep. The power is strong. The sun burns my skin and I enjoy the pain.
You make me suffer.I suffer with love. I suffer for the lost of you; for the gain of you. I can never have you. I am in pain for you. I sacrifice, I hope, I struggle, I long for you. I am in waiting for you. I dismiss you and as I do I dismiss the air that fills my lungs. I don't know what to do. I sit here deciding how I should occupy myself without the thought of you. My classes, my health, my job, my faith, my future verses my heart. I don't know what to do.
All men. All women. They are imposters to my life. Nothing fills this gauge. I look at many and see nothing. I look at you and see everything. I hate you because of the power, the control, the dominancy, the shame, the guilt, the risk, the challenge, the integrity, the goals, the assets, the dreams, the pleasures, the moments, the laughs, the tears, all that which life and existence requires from you. I sit here and hope your name will appear on my phone, that I will hear the ring tone I have set for you in which I refuse to listen to until you call me. I know your flaws. I see your faults. I enjoy them. I'm prepared for them. Did i have a choice to fall for you? Did I have a chance to resist you? The great and intolerable riddle of the world: how does it go that all desire yonder youth recieve your solemn rejection, but for those that chase the yondereth you do not value thier expectations?
May chances never glance upon this documentation. You do not have the eye of my intelligence. It hurts so much when you see me. Everythime you see me, every moment you get the chance, know that I think about you. I am drunk with love. I make myself drunk with pain. I know my plans. I need as much attention as I can possibly get, because I can't get it from you. I will walk myself as the Virgin whore until all my expectations are met. Thus, discussed in the next document.
Brave, strong, warrior, what shall we be?
The Fates have intercept our chances meet.
Hunter and prey.
What roles shall we play?
In the end I will die and sure enough Hunter, you will cry.
We do not compliment. We complete. And Completion is the full moon rising, the earth’s one year rotation, the overflowing of the Holy Grail, and the everlasting conception of love and life.
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