Syr
In the dim light of HIS den Kwea lay looking at Amara. she was messed up. He had knotted her about very badly and now as the lights of day streamed in through the caves mouth he could see the damage he had don. Luckily the cubs had all gone out to play. he had given Kifa strict orders to keep them outside while he spoke to Amara alone.
It was an odd sickly feeling he had in his stomach, this thought that she had left him. LEFT HIM. After all he had done for her, just up and raced away, up and turned her back on him. If he had the feeling to say broken heart, he would have, but he didn't posses those words and he would never admit that another female in his life had hurt him.
Looking her over in the shadowy light though he felt sorry, he felt tired and abused, abandoned. Why had Amara been so insistent on running from him? On leaving him? She had been the first lioness he had ever opened up to, she knew his past, she knew he was afraid of the females of his harem leaving him. Afraid to the point that he wouldn't allow them to go. Yet she had gone. Beyond that feeling though, that of total abandonment he felt exhausted, she looked so tiny and fragile this female he liked, this female he..loved? yes he loved her and it hurt him to know he had hurt her but she had left. He was torn he just didn't know any more how angry he should be, perhaps this beating would be enough, perhaps she would never leave him again?
What if she did? What would be the next punishment? Could he truly raise a paw to her in this way again? It irked him that he didn't want to see her in pain even if she had broken something inside him.
It was an odd sickly feeling he had in his stomach, this thought that she had left him. LEFT HIM. After all he had done for her, just up and raced away, up and turned her back on him. If he had the feeling to say broken heart, he would have, but he didn't posses those words and he would never admit that another female in his life had hurt him.
Looking her over in the shadowy light though he felt sorry, he felt tired and abused, abandoned. Why had Amara been so insistent on running from him? On leaving him? She had been the first lioness he had ever opened up to, she knew his past, she knew he was afraid of the females of his harem leaving him. Afraid to the point that he wouldn't allow them to go. Yet she had gone. Beyond that feeling though, that of total abandonment he felt exhausted, she looked so tiny and fragile this female he liked, this female he..loved? yes he loved her and it hurt him to know he had hurt her but she had left. He was torn he just didn't know any more how angry he should be, perhaps this beating would be enough, perhaps she would never leave him again?
What if she did? What would be the next punishment? Could he truly raise a paw to her in this way again? It irked him that he didn't want to see her in pain even if she had broken something inside him.
Pinch
Amara didn't want to move. Pain arched through her body like lightning, her head throbbed, her stomach ached. What on earth had happened? Last night she'd fallen asleep, happily cradling her beloved cubs to her belly, and now she was waking up like this, cubless and cold. Afraid. What had happened? She had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that Sarai had done something stupid, but she didn't want to just assume it. She didn't want Kwea to know her terrible secret. Amara didn't want Kwea to love her any less.
Opening up her eyes, she had to inhale deeply to make the den stop spinning around her. Once she'd gained her composure, she opened her eyes once more. Where was Kwea? She wanted to talk to him. She wanted him to hold her, Amara needed him to assure her that the cubs were fine and that nothing had happened, that her aches and pains were all in her head.
Amara didn't see Kwea, and it frightened her. Her babies were nowhere to be seen, either. With a sharp, fearful cry, she called out almost frantically, trying to force herself to her feet. It wouldn't happen, she was too weak and in too much pain, and moving too quickly caused her head to spin. "Kwea!!?" Where WAS he?!
Opening up her eyes, she had to inhale deeply to make the den stop spinning around her. Once she'd gained her composure, she opened her eyes once more. Where was Kwea? She wanted to talk to him. She wanted him to hold her, Amara needed him to assure her that the cubs were fine and that nothing had happened, that her aches and pains were all in her head.
Amara didn't see Kwea, and it frightened her. Her babies were nowhere to be seen, either. With a sharp, fearful cry, she called out almost frantically, trying to force herself to her feet. It wouldn't happen, she was too weak and in too much pain, and moving too quickly caused her head to spin. "Kwea!!?" Where WAS he?!
Syr
Her voice struck through his resolve to be mad at her. An ache in the pit of his stomach caused him to baulk and he moved to be near her cleaning her face quickly, frantically. What had he done? hH'd hurt her so badly, he could see his scratches he could imagine the bruises forming under her fur and even the bumps that rose on her face and body. it took every ounce of his will power to pull away. She had hurt him, hurt him so badly, why was he so drawn to her? Why was it that he needed to comfort her. SHE had left HIM not the other way around.
Inching away from her he stands and looks down at her an angry look in his eyes. "Why did you run away Amara? You abandoned the cubs, you ABANDONED ME!" He growls an uneasy feeling in his stomach as he looked down upon her looking at his 'handy work' She was messed up, had he ruined her now? Would she even be able to care for the cubs? Kifa was not a nursing female would the children still be able to feed?
Bile rose in his throat as he thought all of these things through, strengthening his resole to be angry at her though the need to hug her and clean her and make her feel better tugged deep down in his chest. He wanted to make her hurt go away. "The cubs are outside with Kifa, I have told her she needs to care for them today." He takes a slow, deep breath. "Why did you leave me Amara? Have I not given you everything you wanted?" His voice sounded less and less angry, even to him, his aching heart was controlling his anger making him sad, hurt, sick. He felt simply disgusted with himself for hurting her so much, so physically. She had started it! He had to remind himself setting his jaw firmly his brow furrows and he glares at the soft brown lioness. "Well?"
Inching away from her he stands and looks down at her an angry look in his eyes. "Why did you run away Amara? You abandoned the cubs, you ABANDONED ME!" He growls an uneasy feeling in his stomach as he looked down upon her looking at his 'handy work' She was messed up, had he ruined her now? Would she even be able to care for the cubs? Kifa was not a nursing female would the children still be able to feed?
Bile rose in his throat as he thought all of these things through, strengthening his resole to be angry at her though the need to hug her and clean her and make her feel better tugged deep down in his chest. He wanted to make her hurt go away. "The cubs are outside with Kifa, I have told her she needs to care for them today." He takes a slow, deep breath. "Why did you leave me Amara? Have I not given you everything you wanted?" His voice sounded less and less angry, even to him, his aching heart was controlling his anger making him sad, hurt, sick. He felt simply disgusted with himself for hurting her so much, so physically. She had started it! He had to remind himself setting his jaw firmly his brow furrows and he glares at the soft brown lioness. "Well?"
Pinch
She was sick. Amara was sick with what had happened, and it strengthened her resolve to keep Sarai locked away for as long as possible. "No, Kwea," she whispered, shaking her head despite it making her see stars. Oh, how she ached, the pain was incredible. She had been healing, her body still sore and weak from the birthing process; what had Sarai done?
"I would never, ever leave you. Not willingly." She wondered if Kwea had spoken to Sarai. If he had, then maybe he already suspected that she was off, weird, broken. Her mind was not always her own. Would he still want her even after he knew? Amara tried to believe he would, but she was afraid to hope. Her life with Kwea was more than she could have ever dreamed.
"I would never abandon you, or my cubs. I.. I love you too much. You and those cubs are my family. My everything. All I have in this world." She was going to cry if she kept talking, and so to quell the welling tears in her eyes she stopped talking and waited for him to ask the one question that she knew was coming.
"I would never, ever leave you. Not willingly." She wondered if Kwea had spoken to Sarai. If he had, then maybe he already suspected that she was off, weird, broken. Her mind was not always her own. Would he still want her even after he knew? Amara tried to believe he would, but she was afraid to hope. Her life with Kwea was more than she could have ever dreamed.
"I would never abandon you, or my cubs. I.. I love you too much. You and those cubs are my family. My everything. All I have in this world." She was going to cry if she kept talking, and so to quell the welling tears in her eyes she stopped talking and waited for him to ask the one question that she knew was coming.
Syr
It had taken him the whole night to calm down and think on what Amara had said to him, to think while he cleaned the bloody wounds he had caused. He had moved the sleeping cubs one by one to sleep by Kifa, to make sure they couldn't see their mother in a mess. He loved those cubs like they were his own and he didn't want to hurt them like he had hurt their mother.
During this time he had remembered her words. 'I am Sarai' she had insisted. She didn't seem like herself. She seemed afraid, angry, different. Wen she had run she didn't seem to be Amara. Clearing his throat he swallowed hard and lay down slowly enough of a distance away that he couldn't touch her and she could't reach him. Touching her and holding her and trying to make it better would only break his resolve.
"Why did you claim your name was Sarai?" he frowns, his tail twitching "Did you want to leave me? leave your cubs? Be someone else? I hear your words Amara yet you ran, you ran when I called to you, you ran when I neared you and you were going to fight me. You wanted to get away from me.." The pain danced in his blood red eyes, he quickly looks away as she starts to cry. Her tears, he wanted to dry them but she had hurt him so much with that one act of betrayal. Running from him, leaving him. Why had she done it?
During this time he had remembered her words. 'I am Sarai' she had insisted. She didn't seem like herself. She seemed afraid, angry, different. Wen she had run she didn't seem to be Amara. Clearing his throat he swallowed hard and lay down slowly enough of a distance away that he couldn't touch her and she could't reach him. Touching her and holding her and trying to make it better would only break his resolve.
"Why did you claim your name was Sarai?" he frowns, his tail twitching "Did you want to leave me? leave your cubs? Be someone else? I hear your words Amara yet you ran, you ran when I called to you, you ran when I neared you and you were going to fight me. You wanted to get away from me.." The pain danced in his blood red eyes, he quickly looks away as she starts to cry. Her tears, he wanted to dry them but she had hurt him so much with that one act of betrayal. Running from him, leaving him. Why had she done it?
Pinch
Amara noticed how Kwea settled himself a distance from her. She knew he hurt and his heart ached. So did her own. The answers to his questions were stuck in her throat; she couldn't force them past her lips though she knew she had to.
With great effort she drew herself to her feet. Every muscle was afire with agonizing pain. She fought that pain, determined to move closer to her Kwea. Her sweet, giving Kwea; knowing that she'd brought him such unrest was breaking her heart. A small sob erupted from her lips as she collapsed a few feet closer to him.
"Sarai. It is not my name. Sarai is.. a part of me, yet completely different." Her voice was thickened with emotion. "She is the one who got us pregnant, though in doing so brought me to you and gave me cubs. I am thankful to her for that. But when Sarai comes about, I am not there." It was so hard to explain, so hard to describe to someone. "It is as if I am asleep and she is awake." Her eyes were locked on him, begging him to understand.
"She is not a nice lioness. When is controlling this body, she is reckless and mean." Amara's voice broke, eyes pleading, and she fell silent, biting back sobs.
With great effort she drew herself to her feet. Every muscle was afire with agonizing pain. She fought that pain, determined to move closer to her Kwea. Her sweet, giving Kwea; knowing that she'd brought him such unrest was breaking her heart. A small sob erupted from her lips as she collapsed a few feet closer to him.
"Sarai. It is not my name. Sarai is.. a part of me, yet completely different." Her voice was thickened with emotion. "She is the one who got us pregnant, though in doing so brought me to you and gave me cubs. I am thankful to her for that. But when Sarai comes about, I am not there." It was so hard to explain, so hard to describe to someone. "It is as if I am asleep and she is awake." Her eyes were locked on him, begging him to understand.
"She is not a nice lioness. When is controlling this body, she is reckless and mean." Amara's voice broke, eyes pleading, and she fell silent, biting back sobs.
Syr
Kwea had to stop himself from getting to his paws to push Amara back to her belly. She was hurting. Of course she was. It caused him pain to see her ache so and when she flopped to the ground it took every ounce of pride to keep himself bolted to the same spot.
He listened though, intent on her words, listened to what she had to say. Was this a lie? Some trick to make him forgive her? No. He could see the truth of it last night she hadn't been Amara, HIS Amara, she had been someone else. "Why, why haven't you told me before?" he whispers, his voice strained, he wanted to move closer to her to say he was sorry, for causing her all this pain. Sorry for not believing her when she said she wasn't Amara. Sorry for not just bringing her back un harmed.
He had unwittingly hurt the only lioness he currently loved. Loved! He loved Amara truly deeply loved her with all his heart and he had hurt her so badly but why hadn't she told him of this 'other self'? "I hurt you, I hurt you because you ran from me." he whispers his voice rough and dry as he said the painful words out loud.
He listened though, intent on her words, listened to what she had to say. Was this a lie? Some trick to make him forgive her? No. He could see the truth of it last night she hadn't been Amara, HIS Amara, she had been someone else. "Why, why haven't you told me before?" he whispers, his voice strained, he wanted to move closer to her to say he was sorry, for causing her all this pain. Sorry for not believing her when she said she wasn't Amara. Sorry for not just bringing her back un harmed.
He had unwittingly hurt the only lioness he currently loved. Loved! He loved Amara truly deeply loved her with all his heart and he had hurt her so badly but why hadn't she told him of this 'other self'? "I hurt you, I hurt you because you ran from me." he whispers his voice rough and dry as he said the painful words out loud.
Pinch
"I should have told you sooner, I know." She was the one at fault here, not Kwea. "I was ashamed, afraid... I didn't know if you'd still want me. I'm broken, Kwea. I'm not normal." Amara laid on her side, looking at him, tears dampening her cheek fur. She would never leave him, ever, not willingly, and that truth shone out from her eyes. She was his forever, as long as he would have her, and she'd never been happier in her life.
"Please believe me, Kwea. You hurt me, I know you did. I don't blame you. After all you've done for me and the cubs, being there for me while I was pregnant, while I gave birth.. I can't blame you. I.. I know how you feel about desertion, Kwea." She tried to smile but it came across as infinitely sad. "I never want to leave you."
"Please believe me, Kwea. You hurt me, I know you did. I don't blame you. After all you've done for me and the cubs, being there for me while I was pregnant, while I gave birth.. I can't blame you. I.. I know how you feel about desertion, Kwea." She tried to smile but it came across as infinitely sad. "I never want to leave you."
Syr
His muscles twitched as she spoke and without another thought he moved to her side grooming her face clearing away her tears. "Please don't cry." he whispers, he had never felt so guilty in his life. he knew that she didn't what to leave him only something strange, something as unusual as this bizarre story could pull her away. He believed her, he believed her one hundred percent and it hurt him to know how much she now pained because of his claws.
"Amara, Amara I didn't want to hurt you." He breathes his voice sounding strained. A lump formed in his throat and he swallowed back the pain he could feel aching in his chest. "You..You hurt me..running like that." he whispers trying to put all of his emotions in to a few words without his voice cracking was difficult to say the least. He may have hurt her physically but the hole she had nearly punctured in his fragile feelings was as bad as any bite or scratch.
"I never want you to leave me again Amara. I need you here, by my side. My Beybanu. I NEED you here."
"Amara, Amara I didn't want to hurt you." He breathes his voice sounding strained. A lump formed in his throat and he swallowed back the pain he could feel aching in his chest. "You..You hurt me..running like that." he whispers trying to put all of his emotions in to a few words without his voice cracking was difficult to say the least. He may have hurt her physically but the hole she had nearly punctured in his fragile feelings was as bad as any bite or scratch.
"I never want you to leave me again Amara. I need you here, by my side. My Beybanu. I NEED you here."
Pinch
His... Beybanu?! After what she'd done to him last night? He wanted her to be his Beybanu?! She did not deserve such a position in his life. No, she wasn't worth the praise and affection, she wasn't worth his kind words and gentle touch.
But she wanted it, and she wanted HIM. Forever. He saw the real her, he saw Amara and he loved Amara. Even now, after seeing the side of her that she tried oh-so hard to keep locked away, he still wanted her.
She would not tell him no. It would break his heart, and hers to deny them that bond. "I am not going anywhere, my love. My heart." She struggled to lift a paw to brush back his mane, her touch full of love and eyes full of emotion. "I need you, as well, and you honor me so much, Kwea."
But she wanted it, and she wanted HIM. Forever. He saw the real her, he saw Amara and he loved Amara. Even now, after seeing the side of her that she tried oh-so hard to keep locked away, he still wanted her.
She would not tell him no. It would break his heart, and hers to deny them that bond. "I am not going anywhere, my love. My heart." She struggled to lift a paw to brush back his mane, her touch full of love and eyes full of emotion. "I need you, as well, and you honor me so much, Kwea."
Syr
The bloody maned male pulls her close, careful to treat her as if she were ever so fragile. "I'm sorry I hurt you Amara." He whispers, it hurt him os much to know he had physically hurt her. He would never let her go again. He would alway worry she would leave him and he knew his heart would go with her. She had softened him to the world. he loved her and because of her he loved Kifa, in a different way, but he loved.
He smiles a brave, loving smile at the chocolate female. "I wouldn't what anyone else to be my Beybanu. You..You've made me in to someone else, someone, I have never been before." He frowns a little grooming her face, kissing her fur tenderly. "I didn't want to hurt you." He wraps his mane around her closing his eyes. "You need to rest. You need to heal. Kifa will be back later with the cubs and I will tell her then." He frowns a little he wondered how Kifa would take the news. it didn't matter he had to care for Amara now he had hurt her so badly and the remorse he felt, the pain in his heart for hurting this adoring female, was beyond what he could truly cope with.
"You need to rest. I won't leave you." he whispers, an inflection in his voice to make sure he also meant she couldn't leave him. His heart would die he was sure if she ran away from him. he couldn't cope with the abandonment of the one female he knew truly loved him.
He smiles a brave, loving smile at the chocolate female. "I wouldn't what anyone else to be my Beybanu. You..You've made me in to someone else, someone, I have never been before." He frowns a little grooming her face, kissing her fur tenderly. "I didn't want to hurt you." He wraps his mane around her closing his eyes. "You need to rest. You need to heal. Kifa will be back later with the cubs and I will tell her then." He frowns a little he wondered how Kifa would take the news. it didn't matter he had to care for Amara now he had hurt her so badly and the remorse he felt, the pain in his heart for hurting this adoring female, was beyond what he could truly cope with.
"You need to rest. I won't leave you." he whispers, an inflection in his voice to make sure he also meant she couldn't leave him. His heart would die he was sure if she ran away from him. he couldn't cope with the abandonment of the one female he knew truly loved him.
