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 Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 8:22 pm
The dark lioness had paced herself all day long, resting whenever she needed to. Usually she was worn out at the end of the day, too tired to do more than wish Jozo a good evening before she slipped into uncomfortable dreams. Not tonight. No, she had a plan for tonight.
Returning to the den she shared with her mate, Gerda lay down with a sigh and stretched out. Her weariness was no more than the ordinary weariness a healthy lion might feel at the end of a long day. Entirely tolerable, at least for a while. Amber eyes scanned outside the den for her mate.
She had heard Jozo speak of cubs recently, cubs he had met within the pride. And she had met that little orange cub, the one so interested in being a Healer ... they had danced around the subject of cubs ever since losing their own, but Gerda was quietly determined to speak to Jozo about them tonight.
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Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 8:38 pm
Jozo was exhausted. He'd been stretching himself thin; since Sliabh had brought home cubs, Jozo had felt tense. The numbers of strong lions in the pride were dwindling, and it put Jozo on edge. More patrols at night, more food needed catching, more mouths to feed, more cubs to look after. Though it wasn't Jozo's duty to cubwatch, he took his duties in the pride seriously. If something were to happen to a cub while Jozo was on patrol, he would never forgive himself.
Tonight he felt no urge to slink off to see Eppie. He needed a good nights rest even if that meant sleeping by Gerda's side. Ahh, that wasn't very nice. Gerda was a kind and gentle lioness, but she wasn't Eppie. That left a sour taste in his mouth, and that thought reverberated in his brain as he drew closer to the den he shared with his mate.
He'd been hoping she was asleep, but as he neared the mouth of their den he saw that was not the case. He was not in the mood for her needy behaviors. Jozo inhaled deeply, hoping patience would be on his side.
"Gerda."
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Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 8:46 pm
"Jozo," Gerda said softly. Her poor mate looked utterly exhausted. For a moment she felt hesitant. What if Jozo wasn't receptive tonight? She could pamper him, soothe him to sleep ... and then surely he would be more in the mood for talking the next day.
No. Jozo looked tired enough to stay with her tonight, if she helped him recover he would likely just wander off tomorrow. Gerda steeled herself, stand up to nuzzle her mate affectionately.
"Welcome home. I've been waiting for you ..." She didn't want to bring it up right off the bat, but she held his gaze importantly.
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Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 8:50 pm
Of course she was up waiting for him. She always was, wasn't she? Always needing something, always wanting this or that. His throat clenched, jaw tensed. Jozo paused in his footsteps, exhaling as he tried to regain his composure. He took her nuzzle but did not offer one in return.
"What is on your mind tonight, Gerda." He hoped she would be done with it soon. He was tired, he ached, and he needed a good nights rest. He didn't need to try and soothe Gerda's injured feelings. He tried to be patient with her, Jozo really did, but tonight he was standing on the edge of patience and fury, and the edge was thin, indeed.
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Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 9:10 pm
Gerda could sense her mate's impatience. He thought she was oblivious to his moods, but she knew, she knew. She tried so hard to understand him ... and now she understood that he was tired and frustrated.
Maybe not the best time to bring up starting a family, but she had started this, hadn't she?
"I was thinking about a cub I met..." Gerda whispered, her quiet voice softer than ever. She knew her soft, quiet ways irritated Jozo, but she couldn't help it. Even the thought of his anger made her want to wilt, but she had to forge on even if it infuriated her mate. "I was thinking ... maybe we could try again." She looked up at him, hopeful and anxious.
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Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 8:50 am
Jozo's irritated mood softened a bit when his mate posed her question. He knew how hard it must have been for her to ask him, especially since he was in a foul mood, but she'd braved his mood and asked a difficult question. His shoulders drooped and Jozo was quiet for a long, long while. He knew this was a decision that had to be made. It was only fair that Gerda have a chance at being a mother, and since they were mates she couldn't very well trot off and find another male to give her what she desired. Gerda would never do that.
Throughout the entirety of his silence, his eyes searched hers. He could tell that Gerda wanted this with every ounce of her soul, and part of Jozo did too... just... not with Gerda. As her mate, and a healthy male, it was Jozo's obligation to provide her with cubs.
"You are feeling well enough to endure a pregnancy, Gerda? I do not want to see anything to happen to you or our cubs. I do not think I can do that again." His answer was honest and heartfelt. He would give her cubs as long as she was well enough to carry them.
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Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 9:43 am
Gerda could tell that Jozo's irritation was fading. Relief flooded her. Perhaps Jozo was relieved as well. Surely he wanted cubs, wanted them badly. She knew how much the loss of their cubs had hurt him. If they had cubs together ... she smiled softly at her mate, her eyes shining. It would bring them together as a family, truly, and end all this tension.
But Jozo couldn't stand the loss of more cubs, and Gerda knew that she couldn't, either. As much as she hoped that cubs would bring them together, she also wanted them for their own sake, to hope that they would carry on the pride and make it a better place.
"I have been feeling better lately," Gerda said softly. It was true. Although she exhausted herself frequently, if she was careful not to push herself she thought she would be all right. She would just have to take it easy in her duties. And Jozo would be there to help from the start. "If I'm careful ... if you help ... I think it will be fine." Anxious, again. Would Jozo think the same?
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Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 9:50 am
Jozo was quiet for a long stretch of time, his eyes locked on Gerda's face. It was so easy for him to blame Gerda for putting him in the position he was in, so easy for him to feel anger at his mate for getting pregnant and forcing his hand. The truth of the matter was, and Jozo knew it, that it took two to make cubs. He'd willingly cheated on Eppie. It wasn't all Gerda's fault. Feeling this constant anger and frustration wasn't going to help things along.
He sighed softly before speaking, nodding his head. "I will be around as often as I can, Gerda. I have to watch out for the pride; you know this." A small voice in the back of his mind prodded and nagged at him; if Gerda was swamped by cubs, she wouldn't be able to follow him on his excursions to see Eppie. Hoping to put her mind at ease, he absently nuzzled her ear. "If you are certain you feel well enough, we will try for cubs."
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Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 10:19 am
She nodded in return. Yes, she knew that he had responsibilities. She wouldn't press him or nag him. But she knew that Jozo would make what time he could for her, for their cubs.
Their cubs.
Beaming at her mate, Gerda felt a thrill pass through her. She could just tell that they would be successful this time, that their cubs would be born whole and hale. They had to, didn't they? Jozo was a strong lion, immune and healthy. Their last cubs had been harmed by Gerda's own weariness and ill health.
As long as she paced herself, she was sure that these cubs would be born.
"I'd like that very much," she breathed, leaning into his nuzzle, treasuring his affection. "I know I can do it. I tired myself out the last time ... this time I will be very careful." Her voice was firm now, determined.
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Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 10:25 am
Jozo couldn't bite back the jaw-cracking yawn that snuck up on him. Sheepishly he grinned at Gerda, exhaustion evident in his dark eyes. "I trust you to take care of yourself, and our future cubs, Gerda." He could see the determination in her eyes, hear it in her voice. This time there would be cubs.. but in the meanwhile, he would have to talk to Eppie about it. He hoped she understood that he couldn't keep putting off his duties to Gerda.
Ahh, well. Time to think about that later. Moving past Gerda, he slipped into their den. "Come to bed, Gerda. Now that your mind is at ease, perhaps we can sleep." He hoped so. The cubs would keep Gerda busy, keep her happy, and he could make up lost time with Eppie at the same time.
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