Help me restore my peace

[CheesecakeOfAwsome]

This is the quickest summary of what i am going through... i have 2 main questions, actually.

Last year, i've discovered the beauty behind this "religion" called buddhism, and being kind to everyone made me feel amazing, part of something bigger, and always happy. The thing is, in the begining of 2010, i've had massive emotional problems: i had problems with my relationship, family issues, academic issues... it just felt like an enormous chaos in my heart. Then i found this friend, called Ana, that i dearly love and cherish, and she helped me a little bit during this rough fase.
All my problems are solved, i'm still with my bf and in love with him, i love my family and (finally) understand the meaning behind all our discussions and fights and i'm doing great in university!
The thing is my best friend, Ana, is kind of mean... she can most people for every aspect of their personality. She recognizes the good inside of them, but she points her finger to their flaws and tends to make fun.
And now i feel she influenced me to do so, as well.
I don't want to be mean, i want to recognize the beauty within everyone, accepting their flaws.

I've been dealing with many selfish people, lately. There's this one girl who keeps being selfish and takes advatange on anything she can. She only comes to me because i have great study methods, or because i do great presentations, etc etc... I used to offer her what i thought that could be good for her studies, but she never ofered anything back, she never cared about my personal studies and helping me with them. I'm tired of her being selfish and self centered around me. And i have this huge dilema: how can i put my buddhism in practice when she makes me lose all this control? and i've even considered behing mean to her, because i know she deserves it.
And i am having a hard time dealing with this... how to deal with people that make me lose my nerve.
I've been considering perhaps some meditation, which i've never done before, or re-reading the buddhist learnings... i don't know.
What would you guys do in my situation? how should i deal with this? should i walk away from her, even if she still comes to me with her selfish porpose? Should i tell her the truth? Should i say to her that i don't want to borrow her my studies?

My other problem is.. i wanna be closer to enlightenment, and i feel like i've been closer to it. I feel ashamed for losing that spark i had! i feel incomplete for not feeling my religious porpose, for not feeling the divine inside of me, right now. how can i restore my faith and the piece in my heart? Would meditation help me achieve a better posture in life and with the divine?  

[summa crusta]

Showing people love, compassion, and understanding is a good start. Try seeing the world from other people's perspective. That should help you see their state of mind. It will also help you to be not so judgemental toward others.
You shouldn't help others because you expect something in return. You should help them because they need help. However, if you feel someone is using you, talk to that person in a loving compassionate way and explain to them how you feel about the situation.  

[Vertigo_Kiwi]

My mother is one of those types of people: extremely negative, makes fun of everyone, etc. Except, I suspect she has borderline personality disorder, so at times she's really just full of hatred and violence.

I'll admit, it is extremely difficult to practice being a Buddhist when all you want to do is slap someone or be mean to someone because they're being negative towards you. But, you have to keep reminding yourself that acting that way will not bring happiness and will never bring positive results. And, like summa crusta said, maybe try to understand why they act that way. it could be some emotional issue they're going through.  

[RafiCat]

Being compassionate and kind is good, but you're not required to help people, or to put yourself at the disposal of someone who is using you and taking advantage. You may want to talk with these people, and explain your viewpoint, and your feelings. Some people need things spelled out for them. Once their attention is drawn to the qualities you express, it may be easier for them to learn these things by your example.

And failing that, I say be kind and courteous and tell them you are unavailable.

Remember, you deserve compassion and courtesy also!  

[Je Suis La Vie]

I'm going to be completely honest with you, You're letting your ego take control of 'you'. True compassion is doing things for others without expecting something in return, and so long as you keep wanting something in return, you will always suffer. We must remember, the self is only an illusion... it doesn't exist intrinsically. The only 'self' is that life that which belongs to all.

If you feel that you cannot be truly compassionate, the best solution is to remove yourself from situation that requires you to choose.  

[Sun Saru]

You are a frog flowing down a rapid river. The river is chaos and you are in danger of being lost when you see a log you can climb on (your friend). The log helps you through the worst of the river and its good. Then as you move down the now calm river, the log begins to crack and sink. The river is safe enough for you to swim on your own, so you jump off the log before you get caught in a crack and sink with it.

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We are warned about attachments, and this is why. Once the friendship begins to harm your development, it is time to slowly begin to pull from it, before it causes you to sink with it. Friendships and family are good, but only if they nurture you and help develop your wisdom.