She had not slowed down long enough for that first week to stop and think. She had roamed the borders, touched every marking of it, then explored nearly every inch she possibly could within the pride's boundaries. She had drifted through the den areas, watching and listening. She by no means could recognize everyone by sight, but the most active members of the pride she knew at least by their markings. Names could and would come later, when she felt more comfortable. For now, just being able to recognize someone from a distance helped her a little in doing her job.
Piera had begun to talk with some of the other felines and their familiars, but Elera just wasn't ready for such a step. She kept to herself, spending her time in out of the way places when she wasn't out roaming. It became clear that she was generally expected to set her own schedule and do her job whenever she felt able. A schedule was a tentative thing in a pride where members could fall sick at any moment.
Today she was not feeling social whatsoever. She had found a rise in the land within the pride's borders, some ways from the dens. A scraggly tree sat upon it, making a shady spot to lie and think. The wind rustled and whispered in the leaves, hissing in the grass, while soft noises of birds or animals underscored the serenity of the spot. She had found it on her third or fourth day exploring, and was not her favorite place to come to be alone.
Something was on her mind today, and though she had felt it niggling at her at other times, she's shoved it to the back of her mind repeatedly. Today it would not be moved, and she found herself pondering the issues soberly and seriously. She didn't even have Piera to bounce her thoughts off of, for the bird was off visiting someone during this free time. No, this was something she'd have to struggle through on her own.
Children. She did not think of herself as the motherly sort. That was far too much the area of expertise for her raven companion. She genereally did not bother with coddling or soothing anyone in the past, during her time as a rogue. Here... something was different about here. Here there were those who ailed, who really and truly needed to be looked after. Here there were cubs that perished even with the soothing and help the healers could give. Here, cubs were adored and loved as prized treasures. Here, everything was different. And there was no doubt that it was settling a change over the leopardess.
Jozo was a comfortable companion, and spoke truth in such a way that she was willing to hear it, at least most of the time. She had met him several more times in her roamings, and they had always taken the time to stop and talk. His mouth and heart were full of the doings of his cubs, and the worries that he had for them. It seemed Liraz's health did all sorts of up and downs, even just in the week she'd been here. He had great hopes for his sons, as well. But most of all, his gentle words held the clear hint that she could provide more strength and joy for the pride were she to herself have cubs.
The interesting thing about all this was that he had not say or imply anything about her taking a mate. In fact, it seemed that having taken a mate was of some issue for he himself, though she hadn't puzzled all that out as yet. Not only that, but she'd seen a cluster of cubs gathered around a single male... cubs that all bore a resemblance to him, but did not always resemble each other. Clearly they had had different mothers. She supposed, now that she was thinking about it, that this would make sense. Perhaps not all their mothers had lived. Who knew the circumstance that would lead to such a mixed family? But all this led up to one pivotal thought.
What was she herself to do about it?
Her options seemed rather clear cut. Either she refused this unspoken request, all cold-hearted and uncaring as that would make h er... or she could seek out and take a mate, which to the once-grouchy leopardess seemed horribly unlikely... or to take advantage of her roaming nature and merely find a willing male. That seemed somewhat likely, given that she would appeal to any of the random males she'd meet. She heaved a sigh and stretched her paws before herself, flexing out the claws, then relaxing and crossing them at the wrist. Well, of the three options, only one really could be countenanced or made a reality with relative ease.
The next issue, then, would be whom, and how to go about it? Should she choose a leopard by preference, or did it matter. That was soon laid to rest, at least partially. She could not live with herself if she brought half-lion cubs into the world only to watch them die. No, it would have to be a non-lion that she took to be the father of her cubs. Beyond that, she hardly cared what species they were. She supposed she could take whomever first present themselves, so long as they were keen on the idea.
For that was another thing to ponder. How to request what she wanted, and how would the male feel to know he had offspring in a pride of diseased lions? It never crossed her mind to lie to her prospective suitors. But was she to simply walk up and ask them to father cubs that he would not see again? For a fleeting moment she fretted that he'd choose to stay, to be her mate, but she let the thought pass with a snort. She'd already dismissed that idea as it was. In the end, she could only surmise that she'd have to use her head and take as best advantage of any given situation as she could. There really was no way to prepare for inviting a male to become a father without the hassle of raising cubs. She blew through her nose in amusement, whiskers spread, shaking ther head. What a straonge adventure this was turning out to be. In one week to be changed from a roving, independant rogue to a pridal feline considering motherhood! Wonders never ceased!
With a more contented sigh she closed her eyes, seeing shifting shade and light through her closed lids, and laid her head on her paws. It was amazing how a place of such sorrow, grief, and death could provide the astonishing amount of contentment and peace to her. It was something entirely new in her universe, and wholly welcome. Life here flowed like nowhere else, each moment savored, for everyone was well aware how fleeting such moments truly could be. There was less of an air of mourning over the pride than she'd expected, and her observations from afar had proven that these lions and other pridal members lived life to the fullest, with laughter, joy, and love prominent. She had come thinking death was what would dwell foremost in the minds of those who lived here, but she was learning it was life, and life well-lived, that was the focus of the Kitwana'antara.
