[FIN] The Beginning of Something New (Yejide x Beo)

[Uta]

((I'll insert her image in shortly. Also, I'm going to backdate this a bit, so I can get her at least one RP with her before her cubs were born. Hope you don't mind!))

The lioness heaved a heavy sigh as she picked her way along the border of the pride. She was still fairly new, and had been sent out to seek out some herbs and assist various apothecaries. Having just joined a few weeks prior, the black lioness was slowly being integrated in to the pride. She was learning its structure, had memorized its borders, and was under guidance of some of the other healers.

Still, it was a change of pace.

Just a month prior she had been free of bonds and free of any sort of attachment. She had left Jawara and had wandered the country side in hopes of finding a place to belong. Strangely enough, she had found a whole pride in need. And while she feared getting sick, she also knew there was a greater good. If she joined, she could perhaps find some redemption and peace. Her sister would have still been alive if they'd found sanctuary in a pride. But instead, she had been vehement that they depend and trust only one another.

She had let her down. .

And now, here she was. She had given her life, her promise to the pride and only recently, a few days ago, she had discovered her pregnancy. She was pregnant, a mother-to-be. This was great news for the pride, but Yejide was terrified. She didn't know how to be a mother, though she knew exactly whose cubs she carried. Jawara would never know, and that both reassured and pained her. Part of her wish she could send word to him, but then, if he came here there was a chance he would become infected and die.

Furthermore . . . what would happen when her cubs were born? How would they cope with the illness, this . . .this death sentence she has put upon their head? She couldn't leave even if she wanted to. It was still unknown whether or not she was susceptible to the disease, and could be carrying it in her system. If she left now, she could infect a countless number of others, including her own children.

But her children were doomed, because of her foolishness, because of her desperation, because of her guilt. Orange eyes brimmed with tears as she suddenly paced the borders, clearly agitated. Even if she ran, who knew what would happen? Besides which, she'd be breaking her vow, her promise to the pride. Oh, how could she have been such a fool. She didn't regret her pregnancy, not in the least, though she was worried and scared about the thought of being a mother. But she feared having to witness her childrens demise. . .

"Whatever am I going to do?" She questioned no one in particular, stopping her walk to stare hard down at her paws. She fought back tears, not wanting to be weak. Besides, there were tears enough to be shed, but later. If any of her cubs came to harm oh . . . oh how her heart would break for them and how she would be unable to forgive herself.
 

[Lorne_Sionn]

Beo crested the hill, his ears flicking forward to the sound of someone sighing as if the weight of the world rested on their shoulders. He cocked his head to the side, trying to pinpoint the direction. He needn't have bothered, for the owner of the sad sound came into view. The Secret Keeper stepped back into the brush, unsure if he should bother the lioness, thinking perhaps she had just lost someone to the disease that plagued all those of lion blood, and desired peace to mourn her lose.

He turned to go, but stopped in mid step, turning to look over his shoulder he bit his lip, considering for a moment. She seemed truly upset, making up his mind, he turned back and stepped out from his cover.

" Good evening," he said softly, " I hope I am not intruding..."  

[Uta]

Yejide would have been oblivious to Beo. Her heart was breaking, and she couldn't help but feel almost a little overwhelmed by regret and grief. How could she have been so foolish to join a pride so soon after her relationship with Jawara? Given, they had never officially been a couple, but she knew when she took her leave that he had been unhappy, that he had grown fond of her during their time together. Still, how could she have wound up pregnant!? It wasn't as if they had been together THAT long, only a few weeks.

Oh, she was a fool.

Still, the black lioness jumped a bit, startled and forever skiddish as she turned to the sound of the voice. She found herself face to face with a hyena! He was dark of coat, like her, but also incredibly bright. His mane an tail reminded her of a sunset, and it complimented his ebony coat very well. Was he a member? She couldn't remember all the of the faces in the pride, but she had to wonder. Perhaps he was a rogue? Maybe, she was standing only inches away from the border.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, quickly swallowing her grief. "I didn't see you there, didn't realize I wasn't alone." She forced a small smile, her eyes still a bit wide as plates. She had always been a naturally jumpy individual, but she was pleasant, and never meant to offend. "You're not intruding. I'm sorry if I've bothered you with my pacing and . . . thinking. Are you a member of this pride too?" She questioned, canting her head to the side.

Realizing that she might offend the other, she quickly added, "I mean no offense. I only joined a few days ago, I . . . I'm still trying to recognize others faces." She'd never joined a pride before, so everything was brand new. The fact that there were so many lions and leopards and hyenas and other folk running around that sometimes Yejide felt a little uncomfortable. She wasn't used to such a lifestyle, wasn't used to being able to roam. But, despite her uncertainty and shyness, she also knew she'd be able to do good here.

She could help the sick.
 

[Lorne_Sionn]

Beo lifted an eyebrow at the lioness skittishness, but it was the sudden swiftness with which she buried her obvious sorrow that caused him concern. No one should hid such deep emotion, it made ones heart overwhelmed, and caused ones soul to bleed. Some wounds never healed, and even if they did, the scars that remained could still hurt.

Yes Beo was a Secret Keeper, and yes his duty was primarily to his Queen and King, but he still served the Pride as best he could. His kind were not only eaters of the dead, sometimes, they could be a shoulder to lean on and an ear to cry to.

" I was born here," he said in soft, gentle, tones, ' and you did not bother me m'lady. I was on my way to sit on the cliff above and watch the stars come out. Would you care to join me? It is a rare clear night, usually there is fog." Beo gave her a gentle smile, " I could use the company...."

 

[Uta]

The black lioness was surprised by the hyena's amicable nature and forthcoming attitude. She was a stranger, albeit a pride member, and to just invite her like that? With little knowledge of her history, her past, without even knowing her name? Part of the orange eyed female was sure that this is what being part of a pride was - they were pride mates, which meant there was kinship even if they were both strangers. She had something in common with all within the Kitwana'antara, and that was something new to the female.

"If . . .if you wouldn't mind the company, that would be most pleasant." Yejide offered a small, albeit shy, smile at the hyena. Watching the stars would be a good distraction from the fear that seemed to overwhelm her. All of her worries about her pregnancy and infecting her cubs with the disease had a solid grip on her heart that wouldn't be easy to shake. But a distraction would help, as well as getting to know the hyena before her. "Thank you," she added, nodding at him as she waited for him to lead the way. "I could use the distraction. I'm Yejide."

 

[Lorne_Sionn]

Beo gave her a kind smile, " I am Buliwyf, but most in the Pride call me Beo." He began to walk up a well used trail, his pace comfortable, the short muscle in his back leg ensuring it. " It is a pleasure to meet you Yejide, and to welcome you to the Kitwana'antara."

He did not make mention of the disease, or how it was a death sentence to those lions who came to the lands where it ravaged the strong and weak alike. It was not his place to inquire, only to listen should she so desire.

The hyena lead her unerring up each trail, till they crested the last incline. He looked at her over his shoulder, the bangs of his sun colored hair, flopping over one eye, " These are the cliffs, and that is the view."

Beo stepped aside so she could see, the smile on his muzzle reflected in his eyes. Normally he was not so friendly with healthy members of the Pride, but something about this lioness made him want to be gentle with her, careful.

 

[Uta]

The black lioness followed the hyena quietly, glad for this distraction and his friendly nature. She wasn't aware of his title in the pride, and even if he had told her, it was doubtful she'd recognize it. She was still learning, still adjusting, and with a litter of cubs growing within her, her thoughts easily strayed. Still, she knew there was no sense in becoming overwhelmed with uncertainty and misgivings. She had joined the pride out of a duty to help others, even at the risk of her own life. But . . . . if only she'd known she'd be risking so many more in the process.

Quietly, she followed the hyena up the hills. She didn't find the walk straining due to her rogue heritage, but she also wasn't much paying attention to where they were headed. It was only when he stepped away and she looked towards the view that she was fairly impressed. She hadn't expected to see the sky so clear and full of the stars. In fact, since her move from rogue to pride-lion, she hadn't had a chance to truly enjoy or appreciate the beauty of the world around her.

". . .Thank you for inviting me. This is a rare opportunity, I . . I haven't seen the stars in a long time." The female sat and wrapped her tail loosely about her paws, taking in a few quiet moments to digest the scene. Perhaps she could return with her cubs one evening, to show them how to appreciate the world around them, even if . . . . even if they lived on borrowed time.

". . .do you have any children or family here?" The question seemed random, though her voice was quiet and distanced, as if her gaze and mind were elsewhere.
 

[Lorne_Sionn]

Beo had settled down beside her, his amber colored eyes gazing out over the beauty of the Pride's lands and the quiet solace of the stars above them. He loved this small meadow above the dens, and any spare time he had often would be spent up here where the wind blew away the smell of death, and the skies reminded him of life. The cubs he brought up here to play and begun to call the place Beo's Bench.

The Hyena turned toward the lioness when she spoke, his sharp hearing picking up the strain in her voice, and the worry that played itself across her lovely face. He found himself wanting to ease that worry, and help shoulder some of the burden she seemed to be carrying.

When he answered her, his voice was kind, filled with a compassionate understanding, " No, I have only my father and mother. I was an only pup. I help take care of the orphaned and sick cubs, many of them become like my own. I bring them up here when they are well enough, and we play chase tail and rock-feather-seed."

Beo turned to look back over the vista, " Just because they are sick, doesn't mean they can not have a life filled with laughter and play. Cubs are resilient, and face their deaths with more dignity then most adults. They don't regret what they haven't done, and only enjoy what they can do."

He placed a paw over hers, his voice kind, " You're cubs will know laughter, and love. Don't mourn for them, not yet."

 

[Uta]

Yejide stared out a the stars, though her ears turned toward to Beo as she granted him her attention. As hard as she tried, she just couldn't shake the regret that was gnawing at her. She had thought she was doing well, caring for others in her sisters honor, when she had devoted her life to this pride. And yet, to find out that she was pregnant, now, here, of all places. She'd been a rogue for years and had fraternized with various lions for a time, but never had she conceived. So why now? Why, after she had joined a pride full of the diseased?

The world had taken her sister from her, her only friend and true companion. Would she now be stripped of her cubs, of this new family? Yejide hated to think about it, and yet it sat upon her shoulders, troubling her heart and mind. Still, she listened to the hyena and was glad for his distraction. His words did surprise her, and her orange gaze drifted over to him, her surprise obvious.

How did he know. . .? She wasn't showing much, though her stomach was beginning to grow and soon she'd be unable to hide her appearance. Still, she tried hard to take comfort in his words. She hadn't been around many cubs in her lifetime, and was uncertain how fit she'd be as a mother, but she'd make sure her cubs were all loved. Even if the were ill. "I won't deny them joy or love, and I'll do my best to make sure they're overwhelmed with both," she murmured, dropping her gaze down to her paws. "But . . . this wasn't supposed to happen. If I had but known, if I hadn't joined I . . . I wouldn't be sacrificing them to this plague."

Of course, she knew that there were many dangers in the rogue lands, especially for young cubs. At least here they would have full stomachs, even if they grew ill. And none would lack attention or love or kindness. There were benefits to being here. . . but. . .the risks were also great. Hopefully though, perhaps with prayer, some of her children could be spared the disease.

"I lost the only family I had to illness and infection." As well as her own pride. If she hadn't been so stubborn, if she had been more willing to rely on others and join the pride her sister had wanted to perhaps she wouldn't have been slain. It was Yejide's fault, she knew this and claimed the guilt as her own. But the same with her cubs. She had joined the pride, and now . . . their fates were sealed.

"I'm sorry. I'm not being considerate with my company," she added, trying to smile and failing. The black lioness really wasn't accustomed to interacting with others, and pride life was a difficult enough adjustment for the once rogue. Her voice felt thick though, and her eyes stung with tears. There was so much she could weep for, but she wouldn't, not in the company of others.
 

[Lorne_Sionn]

It had been an educated guess on his part, putting together the overwhelming sorrow she was shouldering, the questions of family, and the very subtle mark in her scent. Beo was a Secret Keeper, you tended to learn how to listen to what people were not saying with what they were.

" These lands are lands of loss Yejide, it comes to us with every breath we take, but at the same time, it grants us such gifts. Tell me, would you treasure every moment of your cubs lives if you were not here? Would you give each one of them all the simple joys that they should know before their time comes if you were in the Rogue lands? We value life here Yejide, because we know how quickly it is gone."

He turned to look back out across the savanna stretched out before them in the night, " Everyone of us lives as if we are dying, because we all are in some form or another. The past is gone, and the future unknown, but right here and now, is a gift. That is why it is called the present. Hold your past in your heart Yejide, treasure the memories good and bad, but do not live there, or you are already have died."

Beo's voice was calm, peaceful, the type of serenity that only comes when a creature has truly accepted their fate and is meeting it with a calm, gentle dignity.  

[Uta]

Yejide listened to the hyena, her gaze narrowing a bit as she felt the lump in her throat return. The words of the male beside her were wise, and while she could find comfort in them, they also carried a difficult reality to face. She knew that no one escaped the touch of death, and regardless of where she had gone, her cubs would suffer the same end. But to have joined a pride where lions were effected daily by the disease, and where almost all succumbed to the plague after wasting away, it was hard to accept. It was one thing to have joined on her own, alone, and to give her life to these strangers. It was another thing entirely to bring innocents along as well.

Still . . . what was done was done . . .and no amount of regret was gong to turn back time. She was here, a pledged member, and she would soon give birth to an unknown number of children. Yejide had never been a mother before, and was rather petrified at the thought. There would be no father figure in their life, there would be no relatives. All they had to depend on was her. . . .and the pride. But the black coated lioness was already struggling adjusting to pride life and pride trust.

"I suppose you could be right. At least here, even under threat of death, they should know what ever joy they can find. Every day alive will be a gift for them and myself alike." Her voice cracked some, and she swallowed the tears that caused her orange eyes to sting. No. Not in front of this stranger. She had too much pride to easily open up, much less show her grief so freely.

She had already lost her sister. . . she now feared the loss of her future offspring. But Beo had also told her not to live in the past, to swim in her guilt and remorse. He didn't know her story, where she came form, what she had suffered and bore witness to . . . but maybe he didn't have to. Perhaps that was her own burden to bear, her own mistake, to forgive herself, and to look away from everything that once was, that could have been, that never would be. . . But that was something for her to think upon later.
 

[Lorne_Sionn]

Beo turned back to her, and in a odd display of familiarity, he placed his paw on her shoulder. The Secret Keeper was shy and retreating by nature, but something about this lioness and the way she wore her sorrow, with a quiet and accepting dignity, made his heart ache for her, and made him wish to comfort her somehow.

" You won't be alone, you will have the Pride around you, and..well..I am very good with cubs. I can help, if you need it." His tone was soft, gentle as he offered her the gift of friendship.  

[Uta]

It surprised Yejide to be around someone who was so openly kind and gentle. He didn't even know her, she was a complete and utter stranger! She'd only joined a few days ago, and could hardly recognize the faces of those she had met. How could he- who had only just been introduced - be so generous with his words?

She glanced over as he touched her shoulder, surprise and uncertainty coloring her orange eyes. She was naturally a bit skittish, and wasn't accustomed to such familiarity with anyone. Even Jawara . . . hadn't she almost grown comfortable with him? Key word . . .almost. And then she had left . . . run . . . hid . . . .refused to let her freedom be compromised. Strange how times had changed and so swiftly. She was stuck in a pride. . . a pride where she felt she could redeem herself from her past mistakes, and yet was ultimately possibly destroying the good life of her cubs.

How the spirits tormented her!

Still, that was for thought neither here nor there. She could weep and grieve over the loss of her unborn cubs innocence later. For now, she offered the ghost of a smile and gave a small shake of her head. " . . . you're right . . .there is the pride." The word felt so foreign on her lips, something she had yet to adjust to. But she wouldn't spurn any help so swiftly. "I . . . I've never been around cubs before. I . . . I don't know how I will be. But I will give them my best and all my love." That was a promise. She'd give them her all, she owed them that much. In fact, she owed them a lifetime. She could never ask their forgiveness, but would spend her life doing what she could to make it up to them.

"Thank you though, Bulywyf. I . . I truly appreciate your kindness." Yejide spoke quietly, but firmly, doing her best to swallow the lump in her throat. He couldn't possibly know that some of his words were exactly what she needed to hear.
 

[Lorne_Sionn]

The hyena tilted his head to the side, wondering what it was about this lioness that made him wish to ease her trouble. Perhaps it was the hidden pain and sorrow she wore, that she tried to shoulder alone. He'd seen it before, with the loved ones of the sick. He always tried to ease it, tried to take some of the burden, but somehow, in a way he could not place a paw on, the feeling with her was different. It wasn't so much an act of compassion as it was almost a compulsion.

" There is no need to thank me Yejide. I am a good ear and an even better shoulder. I am here if you need me, its part of what I do for the Pride. Please do not worry for your cubs, as long as you love them, they will know the most beautiful of the Gods' gifts, and I meant what I said, I will gladly help you with the cubs. I make a very good nursemaid."

He gifted her with a warm smile, " or at least a very good jungle gym."