Haruma had become much more adept at learning the signs of the disease since she had been little. She spent much time with the healers, and was seeking to be allowed to practise as a healer in her own right, despite her youth. But as such, it had not slipped her notice that her dear friend Eudeyrn was growing ill. It distressed her, though she tried not to let it. He was just one out of the entire pride of sickly lions, but somehow this was different. She was having trouble being able to set who he was aside from his acquiring the disease. Something was different here, though she hadn't yet found it within herself what that "something" was. It was heavy on her mind that morning, as she let her paws take her where they would... and where they would was where she was most likely to find Eu. She was startled to raise her eyes and realize she was at the altar, and there he was, hunkered down in the rising sunlight. "Eudeyrn!" she said in surprise, pausing uncertainly at finding the person of her thoughts directly before her.
He startled, the fur on his back rising as he turned to look at her. The sudden movement made him dizzy and for a moment he thought he might faint, but the dizziness cleared and he steadied himself, coming up to a more proper seat to greet her. "Haruma," he said with a little huff, "Good morning, I didn't expect to see you." Or for you to see me for that matter, he thought. He had barely been able to drag himself out of the den, he couldn't imagine what an awful sight he must be. "How are you feeling?" he asked, feeling the phrase becoming almost a standard greeting to most in the pride. He thought it should be something different, perhaps what do you want to do, something that wouldn't highlight the truth of the matter. But he couldn't, the truth was what was important.
"Better than you are, I would hazard," she replied, surging up next to him to prop him up, wrapping one paw about him protectively. That unexplained feeling rose up within her, fiercely protective, deeply pained, and somehow soaringly joyful, all at once. She looked worriedly into his eyes, seeking an unnamable something. "Eu, have you told anyone?" she asked softly, her voice tender and understanding. She knew him well enough by now to realize he'd hide it, and had been trying to even from her. Still, she wasn't going to let him go untreated when he could have things eased even a little.
"No," he admitted, glancing away from her, "But they know. Mother does at least, it makes her nervous. Liraz is getting worse too. Worse than him, even. "It's not so bad really," he insisted, giving her a nuzzle as he tried to make himself seem strong, "I've only been coughing for a few weeks, and I'm just tired lately." Part of it was the disease he was sure, but he too was frightened, and hadn't been sleeping much. "Are you-" he started, and then backed off, forcing a smile. He didn't really want to know as much as he thought he did. It would all fall into place in time, as the god's designed.
There were tears in her eyes. She was afraid, for once. She rarely was, but this time it was falling down around her like rain, the fear of losing him. He'd been her friend for so long, sharing their equally serious devotion to their seperate career paths. She gazed tearfully into his eyes and set one paw to his cheek. "Eu, you don't have to hide it from me. Please... let's always be truthful to each other." How her eyes begged this of him! She needed to be assured that he'd always tell her how he felt, so she could help. "But no, dearheart. I am not sick. It is a blessing, since others need me so." Like you, her heart whispered, squeezing sharply.
It was a relief, one which he felt deep in his chest as he relaxed. She wasn't sick yet, that meant she might not get it after all. That was good, she would be able to carry on. His expression dropped though, he couldn't promise her that. If he always told her, she would do nothing but worry like his mother did. That was a miserable life. "The gods will take care of me Haruma, they will take care of all of us. I was only trying to protect you, I promise I wouldn't compromise my life. I'll tell you the moment it changes." Gets worse, he meant, but he couldn't bring himself to say it. Maybe it wouldn't though. There were some that lived just a little sick well into old age. It was rare, true, but if he prayed perhaps he could be one of them.
She leaned against him, heart thumping loud in her ears. "But i want to take care of you," she whispered before hiding her face against his growing mane. "Please? Let me take care of you?" she mumbled against him, pulling him closer with the paw still wrapped around him. She couldn't stand to think of losing him, but it was worse to imagine him enduring what could be treated. She really COULD help him feel better, even when the illness was light. She squeezed her eyes tight and wished with all her might that he'd let her, that he'd keep her close and let her in.
He wanted to smile, enjoying the comfort she gave him, but he felt a certain guilt about it. His life was to belong to the god's, not to his own heart. She would understand that, he knew, but he would also have to remember her feelings. "Haruma," he said calmly, giving her head a little lick like his mother used to do to him, "You may do with me whatever you want, but remember that I will not be kept from my duties. I have to, no matter how I feel." Who knew how much worse things would get if the gods were forgotten, he didn't want to think about it.
She leaned back to look at him again, her eyes glittering but earnest. "I would never keep you from your duties, Eudeyrn. You should know that by now. No more than you would keep me from mine." It was a mild rebuking, but also an appeal to his common sense. "What would happen if the healers did not heal? Is it any less important?" This was new territory, something they hadn't broached in the past. She considered their chosen jobs as of equal importance, both neccessary in the most vital of ways. Did he feel the same?
"No, you're right," he admitted, ducking his head, "I'm becoming like my mother, fretting about everyone else." It was a sad statement in more ways than one, especially with his mother's misguided sense of devotion to a male who would never be there for her like her sons would. He supposed if he was becoming like either of his parents he preferred it to be his mother. "I'm sorry Haruma, I shouldn't have treated you like a child, you've grown up here just as I have," he said softly, offering her a smile.
Now that was more like the Eu she loved. Loved? Did she love him? The question was finally asked within her, and the upsurge in answer was undeniable. Yes, she did. That was what had been nagging at her so much lately. Love. The realization made her dizzy with giddiness, for there was no question in her heart either that he loved her the same. "I love you, Eu," she half-gasped, half-murmured. "And I want us to share as much as we can together." Every moment was precious, every heartbeat a gift of the gods. "If we must fret, let's fret about each other. For as long as we can." Her throat closed just a little on the last, but the passion that was usually reserved for her work, or for her siblings, came through loud and strong, for him.
At first he was taken aback by the statement, feeling his face flush hot and his mouth go dry. He'd said that to his siblings, of course, but he hadn't thought about it. Before his mind could act he found himself responding, his voice free of the apprehension he felt. "We will Haruma," he said with a sighed as he laid his head on top of hers, "I love you, and I'll stay here for you until the gods call me personally."
In that moment, that was all she needed. She needed no food, no water, no one but him. In fact, she hardly felt as if she needed breath in her lungs, so long as they stayed close like this. Her heartbeat slowed, her eyes dried, and her muscles relaxed against him. All was right in the world, even if Eu was sick. She could help him, and she would. He would seek the favor of the gods, and hopefully be spared anything worse. But regardless of what the future brought, they had this moment, and they would face the rest together.
