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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 5:32 am
A gift could be a curse if it comes at the wrong time.
Roho considers this gift many things. It is both good and bad. A burden and a wonder. She is no longer just a lioness. Neither is she a single being. She holds secret lives which, in time, will be secret no longer.
She is pregnant and she is both overjoyed and deeply afraid.
Roho walks across the lands in a daze. Her pale-blue eyes are open but they do not notice the goings on around her. She does not see the seekers out under the hot rays of the sun, nor the eagle turning slow loops above her head. She does not notice the brilliance of the cloudless, blue sky or the heat radiating from the sand beneath her paws.
It is hard to admit, but these lands are not what she was expecting though much of that could be put up to the hard times that had struck shortly after their arrival. People did band together, that was true, but neither was anyone willing to make the hard choices that needed to be made. It aggravated her beyond all else, though she had chosen to keep her head down and train with the other soldiers. And then there had been the sickness. It had come and gone in waves and she'd put it down to the heat and the stress of the situations. Then, only this morning, someone commented on her burgeoning stomach and she had realised what she had tried so hard to ignore.
She was pregnant with Guiren's cubs.
And, if she had been back in Hongshan with him at her side, the news would have filled her with incredible, pure and intense joy. Sadly, Guiren was dead. The Hongshan was dead and the future here in the Motoujamii was looking bleak - particularly if the water was prioritised. Which conflicted her greatly, of course, because before today she had been set on prioritising water.
But...situation changed or not...she could not rightly change her mind for her own selfish needs. This cubs were miracles but they were also burdens. She could not back down from the tough choice just to ensure their safety.
if they were strong, they would live. If not...well, then they would go to see their father and she would join them all someday.
She paused, panting in the shade and glanced around the flat expanse where some of the soldiers trained. Her eyes, today, sought someone in particular. Her dearest friend, Suditi. Of all her companions, she would understand.
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 12:33 pm
It was scorching hot. The lioness stirred up dust as she walked across the sand. Most soldiers were still training despite the lack of water and the heat which drained them of energy. She, herself, had been pushing her weary body to continue fighting for days. While she herself was no water seeker the lioness had been very keen at listening in to other conversations and from what she had pieced together the situation kept getting more and more dire. No one had found water yet. And the puddle –that little spot of mud!- was the only thing supplying them with any relief. Even then she could barely bring herself more than a mouthful, even though it was limited she just couldn’t drink easily with all those eyes watching her. She would much rather keep a dry mouth than drink with all those eyes staring at her. She hated it. It wasn’t her choice to have her pride destroyed and her companions come here for refuge. She despised feeling so weak and useless.
Yet here they were.
When backed into a corner there really was nothing they could do but to come here to this legendary pride of warriors. Though, Suditi’s lips curled slightly at the thought, there wasn’t much legendary going on here with this drought. Maybe the gods had cursed her pride to doom. It appeared that nothing about their situation was getting better. Surely if the drought had not already been starting by the time they had arrived then the pride would have seen them as a curse to their lands. In a bittersweet way she was thankful then for their timing, however bad it was, since it could have been much worse. Oh, how she wished she could tear into that mystery pride! Suditi knew that had she been there for the battle in her homelands then she would have torn into many a pelt that day. As it was she was still guilty and bitter about the whole deal. About being in the rogue lands at that time because of – well it was better to not linger on such thoughts. It was just a waste of energy.
Instead she focused back on the training, leaping into every twist and turn of the exercises. Her mood became even lighter once she paused and noticed a familiar figure resting in the shade. Roho? Suditi slipped past the other soldiers and smiled happily at her friend. It was her! Her pace increasing the lioness came into the shade, “Roho!” Even though they lived together here, it still felt like forever since she had really taken the time to be with her closest friend. She was so focused on watching her friend's face that she at first missed the change in Roho's body.
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 4:48 pm
Ah, so she was here!
Relief swept through her and, on shaky legs, she rose from her reclining position to greet the bright red and black female. With that bright, fiery pelt, Suditi certainly fit in well with the other lions here. Watching as she approached, she might as well have been a pure blood! Such dark reds as she, herself, wore, were not so commonplace, it seemed.
"I was hoping to find you here." She put on a somewhat strained smile and moved forwards to touch her muzzle gently to the other's shoulder. But now that they were together...what exactly was she going to say? Blinking rapidly, she drew back to meet Suditi's gaze. "I'm glad." She added in a softer voice. "I...something has come up. Something...quite unexpected."
She sat back on her haunches, tail swaying. "I'm...I seem to be..." She swallowed around her sudden nervousness; eyes darting from side to side.
"I'm pregnant."
And, in her tone, it sounded both an ominous and a glorious thing.
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 5:49 pm
Roho was her closest friend, a fellow refugee from her old home. She knew Roho and she knew a strained smile when she saw one. Instantly Suditi’s own smile faltered. Oh no. The lioness’s amber gaze darkened with worry. What was wrong? More news about the drought? No, she had a feeling that while it might be affected by the drought the news wasn’t really from the drought.
As it was the lioness tried to shake off the worrisome feeling, “You were?” She smiled, “I’m glad you haven’t forgotten little oh me in the bustle of this place.” Her confident expression faded though when she watched her friend, “What is it, Roho? What’s wrong?” Suditi’s gaze searched Roho’s face for any sign, any hint of what it could be that was troubling her friend. “Whatever it is I’m sure we can face it. I’m here with you after all. What can beat us?”
Her joking manner faded, however, as soon as the truth was out.
“Pregnant? Really?! I mean...you’re certain?” Suditi’s eyes widened. That was the one thing she was not expecting to hear. How was Roho pregnant? Was there someone here in this pride or on the way…oh. The lioness dropped her gaze after noticing how far along her friend was. And knowing how Roho was made the truth even more obvious. “I’m sure he would be so proud to hear that.” Her voice soft, she touched the other’s shoulder gently, “We’ll figure this out, Roho. Maybe by the time they come this whole ordeal will even be over. They’ll be surrounded in a strong pride with a great mother who has good friends. Oh my! I bet they're gonna to be so beautiful too.” She smiled, but even her optimism was heavy. What if the drought persisted? How could Roho take care of cubs in such circumstances?
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Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 12:20 pm
She nodded grimly, lowering her eyes and flattening her ears back against her head. It was an...impossible situation. She just wished they were going to be born into better circumstances. "I'm...certain. I...I'm..." She swallowed again, growing nervous and panicky just thinking about it. Roho hated not being able to control her emotions and every day it seemed more and more difficult to hold everything together. All these incidents kept chipping away at her resolve, waiting for her to break.
But she wouldn't break.
And then Suditi's words; he would be proud to hear that. She felt a horrible prickling sensation at the back of her eyes and wrinkled her nose in an attempt to keep herself from bursting into tears. Afraid that she might not be able to keep control of herself, she leaned into Suditi's shoulder, pressing her face against her fur in an attempt to hide her tears from sight. "I...I hope so. I mean..." She blinked rapidly to clear her vision. "I'm not sure if my heart can take any more loss. Losing Guiren...the Hongshan...I can't lose these cubs too. Guiren's cubs. I..." She snapped her jaws shut, struggling to find the words.
"And with the rest of our troupe looking to prioritise the water...a refugee's cubs will be last on the list." She blinked back another surge of emotion. "Which is right...of course. But..." She drew herself up, her face contorting momentarily with pain. "You're...you're right. We'll...figure something out. I just don't know what..."
And what else was there other than to pray for the rains?
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Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 10:38 am
“Ah.” Suditi took a breath before quickly smiling despite her worry. She knew Roho and could feel that her friend was torn up about the news. So the lioness knew better than openly worrying about such matters, her friend needed comfort not another pile of worry upon the knots of feelings that she was probably already experiencing from such news. As Roho leaned against her Suditi licked her forehead. “It’s alright, Roho. Who said that you had to lose the cubs as well?”
She nodded appearing certain of their survival.
“I would never let you lose Guiren’s cubs. Not as long as I’m alive.” She promised without hesitation despite the fact about their limited water supply. “I would rather not drink any water than see your cubs without.” The bright red lion looked pained at the thought that a refugee’s cubs would indeed be last on the list. She knew the firekin and had heard arguments over such things. Many wanted equality, but others wanted to make certain that the soldiers came first. She herself had been torn on such subjects wanting both the strength of soldiers like herself to be supported yet knowing that a pride needed more than soldiers to function, to have life. And now there was this. Her heart was knotted at the thought. But she couldn’t let Roho see such worry, “As it is the cubs are not here yet. Who knows maybe the rains will come before they do and the little ones will only hear of this drought as if it was a story from a long time ago.”
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Posted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 6:53 am
"What can I say other than thank you, Suditi? Our friendship...without it, I don't think I would have gotten through the hardship as well as I did. You're right. We need to stick together and ensure that all is well as can be. I'm certain I can do with a little less water and will gladly do so to ensure their survival."
She gave a short sigh and leaned against her sister gratefully. "But I do not want to lose you either, Suditi. We cannot risk our own lives in this." She blinked. "There is much sense in prioritising, though I'm conflicted now. But it would be wrong to go back on my earlier choice just because my situation has changed." And who knew. Maybe the pride would vote on equality anyway. "I hope for rain, then. And soon. I've...I don't know how long it is until the cubs arrive. But...I think it will be soon. It must be. It has been so long since we...were at home." And she thought of Guiren again. And the mountains; beautiful and embracing.
Her eyes drew across the desert; harsh, hot and unrelenting. Very different from their homeland, but perhaps equally as beautiful. Maybe one day she could look at this sea of gold and not feel homesick.
"What do you think of the pride, Suditi? Do you think they stand a chance against the brutality of the northern lions?"
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Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 11:00 am
“Ah.” Suditi smiled warmly at her sister. “Should I not thank you as well then, Roho? You comforted me during the times when I felt the most alone. I’m so glad that I have a friend no a sister to rely on.” The lioness nodded, “I’m certain that we will all work hard together and keep each other alive during this mess. None of us would go down without a fight after all – no matter how young or old.” She grinned the familiar spark in her gaze, “We are warriors after all.”
She shook her head. “No drought is going to kill me if I were to die then how could I-“ She paused and bit her lip. She was going to get revenge for her fallen brethren. There was no way in the world that she would die now. No if she was to die then it would be in battle surrounded by the corpses of her enemies. “As it is who knows how the vote will go? Maybe my own decision will settle by then.” She gave a grim smile. “As it is they are your and his cubs. I wouldn’t think that they would be so weak to give into the eternal sleep so soon after just tasting life.”
Roho’s question quietened the lioness as she followed the other’s gaze out across the gleaming desert. She had trained amongst their soldiers and could figure their strength despite the effects of this drought. “If they have managed to live in such a place as this and keep such strong borders...I believe there is hope. Not to mention that we are now in their forces.” She gave a bitter grin, “I know that I will fight as a demon when the time comes.”
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 4:26 am
"Warriors 'til the end." Roho replied firmly with a nod. Her tail curled behind her and she relaxed a little, allowing the slightest of smiles to ease its way across her muzzle. The days ahead would be difficult but they would not be enough to break the Hongshan--the remnants of the Hongshan.
"I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens. I'm not entirely certain that the vote of priority is as favourable as I'd hoped. All I know is that I will be there to say my piece." She looked forward to it, in fact.
Roho nodded again, thoughtfully. "They have come this far with us. I can't imagine them giving in so easily. You are right. They will be small and young but they will have fight and they will have us." She felt more confident now and was ever thankful for Suditi's view on things. At the image of Suditi fighting like a demon, the young warrior drew herself up proudly and nodded. "I couldn't imagine anything less, Suditi. And I will be there to fight at your side. That I can promise you." She leaned against her sister's shoulder and then took a few steps forward. "What do you say to checking up on these so called fierce warriors and seeing how their training is going?"
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Posted: Sat Sep 10, 2011 12:56 pm
“Always.” Suditi smiled at the comment. They would never fail as long as the spirit remained. Her body was weakened from the drought, but her spirit was still strong. So she had faith that they would survive to see a new day, a brilliant one full of future hopes and battles. Her spine tingled. Ah, the love of the fight. It would always fuel her soul.
Suditi nodded, “Maybe equality is the answer for us.” She shrugged, “I want a strong pride and keeping the soldiers strong is required. But what is the point in a warrior without something to protect?” She shook her head, “Someone said that once, but I still…it’s hard to think about in this type of situation.”
“It’s all true.” The lioness nudged her friend playfully before looking solemnly at Roho, “For that I am grateful.” For what was she alone on the battlefield? Knowing that her friend had her back inspired the lioness. She would never feel weak with Roho and the others there.
“Aye let’s do that.” With a soft laugh Suditi started towards the training grounds. They would check on those warriors and if they were even slacking she would definitely help keep them in shape. Just as they should do with her should she ever falter in her dedication to the fight. Feeling Roho at her side the lioness smiled. That she highly doubted should ever happen.
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