[MPRP] One Mother to Another (Amara, Biti) - FIN

[Pearlyblue]

Weather: Dry and sweltering.
Location: Biti's den.

Amara's White tail swung swiftly from side-to-side behind her as she walked, keeping pace with her thoughts. She had left Pôntàn behind in a good, shady spot, and he would probably be alright for now, but it still unnerved her to leave him at a time like this. What if something happened, and she wasn't there...?

On the other hand, she really did have to get away for a while. The frustration was almost too much to handle. Her first and so far only cub was sick. Whether he would pull through it or not was completely out of her power. There was nothing she could do, except watch and wait, and quite frankly, it was getting to the point where she felt as though a whole termite hill had moved in under her skin.

She needed to get away before her frustration turned into anger, and she risked started taking it out on her poor, sick cub.

Amara shook her head and looked up, realising that her paws were leading her in the direction of Biti's den, and nodded to herself. She needed a distraction of some sort, and talking to Biti was usually interesting. Besides, as a mother herself, maybe she would be able to understand this frustration that kept wringing Amara's insides.

"Biti?" Amara called out softly. "Are you here?"  

[AnimeChickie]

Biti had been resting in the confines of her den on this unusually hot day. None of her cubs were to be seen but she knew that they were close. With all of the tension within the pride she knew that it was best that they stretch their legs or they would go just as insane as their mother. Her family hadn't been in the pride for long and knew that she still wasn't completely trusted. It was understandable but with the new developments, she was unsure how they would effect her.

Hearing the familiar voice, the dark red lioness quickly got to her feet to greet the visitor. Smiling tentatively as she saw Amara, Biti had heard the news about Amara's son and was wondering if Amara would come to her to talk about him. None of her three cubs were showing any signs of illness and Biti felt completely relieved but that didn't stop her from feeling the pain that Amara must be feeling.

"Amara!" She was glad to see one of her closest friends in the pride. "How are you? How is Pôntàn?" Immediately those were the first questions that had come to mind and Biti really just wanted to hear for herself how her friend was doing.  

[Pearlyblue]

Amara's smile twisted into something a lot less happy for a moment when Biti mentioned her cub, and when she recovered it it had lost some of its genuine-ness.

"Ah, I'm fine," she replied, clearing her throat a bit as her smile slowly faded away again. "Pôntàn is... a strong boy. He's not feeling very well, to be honest, but I'm sure he will be alright." She came to a stop in front of her friend, but her cream-coloured eyes seemed glued to the ground for a moment, while she gathered herself to present a more believable smile.

"How are you and yours?" She said, lifting her head to look into the other female's eyes. "I hear none of your cubs seem affected yet." Amara suddenly had to fight down something sharp from rising in her throat, something that surprised even herself. Jealousy? "That must be such a relief, right now." She made sure her smile never faltered. What would be the use of getting upset at Biti? She didn't even have a logical reason for it.  

[AnimeChickie]

Observing the other lioness carefully, Biti wanted to be very careful about what she talked about considering how tense the situation was. It was reported that one cub had already passed away because of the sickness. Oh god, she needed to believe that Pôntàn was going to be fine.

"Tunda, Kingune, and Walimi seem to be fine right now but I'm keeping a very close watch on them in case they do start showing signs of sickness. Nobody is sure how the disease is passed on yet? But I guess all we can do is hope..." Her voice was steady up until the very end when she began to feel a little choked up.

Pausing, she wasn't sure what else to say. "I'm scared, Amara."  

[Pearlyblue]

When Biti's voice began to crack up, Amara felt her own throat constrict in sympathy. So what if Biti was the lucky one? The last thing Amara ever wanted to see happen would be for Biti's lovely little girls - for any of Biti's children - to have to suffer. That wouldn't make Pôntàn any better, either.

She heaved a small, shaky sigh and walked even closer to her friend, to touch the red lioness' head with her own.

"I know," she murmured, unable to keep her own voice from cracking. "Me too. We don't know how or when it strikes, and Pôntàn is so sick... I can't stand it. I can't stand this uncertainty. And... and I... I don't want to lose him. Not now. He's so young. He's so small."

Without even meaning to, she had poured her heart out to her red friend. It was embarrassing, really - she didn't like the sound of her own voice when it sounded weak like this. Before she had become a mother, she would never have lost herself to irrational fear and frustrations like this.  

[AnimeChickie]

Biti always had a soft spot for cubs and when she finally had cubs of her own, her life almost seemed complete. Even the fact that she was forced to move away from her original pride, as long as she had her family everything would be alright. The lioness leaned forward and felt the physical connection with the closest friend that she had here. It was like Biti could feel all of the pain that she was in and how she was feeling now.

She had met Amara's boy a few times and he was so young... Life had a funny way of reminding everybody how short life could be and how fragile young life was. "I'm so sorry about Pôntàn. If I can do anything for you two please tell me. I want to help." From one mother to another, Biti couldn't even imagine how Amara was feeling. If one of her cubs were to get sick, she didn't even know how she would react.

"Don't worry. Things will be fine in the end. Just stay strong for Pôntàn and he will get better." Smiling once more at Amara, Biti really wanted to believe everything that she had just said.  

[Pearlyblue]

Amara's breaths were shaky, but she did her best to pull herself together. It wouldn't do to fall apart all over Biti, not over something like this, and certainly not while her friend was being such a dear. It wouldn't do to be a burden. Not at a time like this. She looked up at the red lioness with a shaky smile.

"Thank you, Biti. I really want to believe that."

It was funny, but she really did. Amara had always hoped she would be a mother, but in her mind it had always seemed like a duty or an accomplishment, something that she should do for the sake of her pride, rather than for herself, and she had certainly not expected herself to get so involved, much less for a male cub who wouldn't be contributing anything to the pride in the future. She sat down and heaved an unsteady sigh.

"I don't even know why I let it get to me so much. I mean, it's not like there is anything I can actually do to... to change anything. It's out of my paws, you know? Why can't I just accept that and be calm? I know he's no better off for my worrying and fidgeting... It's terrible, Biti, sometimes I am so close to yelling at him or... or... I don't know. I know it's not his fault that he is sick and I just... I'm a terrible mother!"

This 'pulling herself together' -thing wasn't working out very well. Amara's ears were so low, they were practically flat against her skull, and her tail swished with embarrassment behind her.  

[AnimeChickie]

Nodding solemnly, Biti didn't know what to expect when she would finally have a family of her own but now she knew that it -- no, they had become apart of her. "I know it's hard to stop worrying but you have to believe that things will be alright."

A small smile appeared on her expression as she continued to listen to Amara speak. "Heh. Don't think that you're a terrible mother. I'm pretty sure everybody goes through the same thing including myself. Things get so frustrating and you care so much about them. Sometimes you can't help but feel that way. Just know that it's normal. Frustration is part of being a mother."

Biti didn't know if anything she was saying would help Amara but she was speaking from the heart. "I'm here for you if you ever need to talk. That's what friends are for."  

[Pearlyblue]

Amara glanced up at her friend, still feeling pretty miserable, but somehow just a little bit lighter at heart.

"Really?" She asked, studying her friend's face. "You feel that way sometimes, too?" Somehow, she couldn't imagine Biti yelling at her children for no good reason. But the red lioness had said it was normal, to feel this frustration. Her tail stilled and curled itself around her paws, only the tip continuing to move thoughtfully.

"I... I don't know how, but I feel a bit more calm now." She smiled, a little more genuinely than before. "It really does help to have someone to talk to, I guess. Thank you for listening. You're a good friend. And I'm sorry for... for freaking out like this." She sighed. "I just wish there was something I could DO, besides waiting and watching and hoping. If there was any more water, perhaps I could make him drink more and... wash the sickness out of him." She laughed tiredly and shook her head at herself. "Silly thought, right? But I can't let it go."  

[AnimeChickie]

Nodding sincerely, Biti knew that when she had her first cub, there were days when she felt like she was going crazy. Not that she didn't love her family but cubs were difficult. "Yeah, I still feel like that now sometimes. Taking care of three cubs by myself has not been easy for me."

"I'm glad that you feel a little better. And I'll always be here to listen if you need and I am more than willing to help with Pôntàn if you need a day off or something." Smiling at Amara once more, Biti chuckled softly at her thought. "It's okay. I'm sure that anything will help him get better." Biti was happy that Amara was feeling better. She knew that Amara needed the hope or else she could possibly get sick too.  

[Pearlyblue]

"Oh, no," Amara shook her head decisively at her friend's generous offer. "I couldn't possibly let you... No, I... I couldn't handle it if you were to catch this disease from him, or it would somehow get around to your cubs. No. Thank you, but no."

The white lioness felt her paws grow cold in spite of the permeating heat all around. With that in mind... should she even be here? What if the disease somehow clung to her, from her close contacts with Pôntàn? What if... what if she was putting Biti's children at risk, right now?

Trying to hide her sudden trepidation behind a smile, Amara rose and backed a few steps away from Biti. "Um... actually, I... I should probably go and check up on him now." She made a sound that at least approximated a breathy laugh and tried to make it seem more genuine by tilting her head slightly to the side. "You know, I'm getting nervous about him again. Can't leave him all by himself for too long!"

She turned, but hesitated, and turned back over her shoulder, giving Biti a look of genuine gratitude. "But really, thank you. You're a good friend."

Then she walked away, as much hurrying towards the place where she needed to be, as hurrying away from the risk of causing harm to that same, good friend.

Even though now she was worried for a whole different reason.