[SRP] A lonely Banu or Two (Dara x Rosha)

[Kathryn Dragonna]

The day was bright, clear, and it seemed to be mocking Darakhshan. Why was it that on the days she felt the worst, the weather would be the best? She had very few sunny days that she enjoyed. It was just so empty in the den. Her older siblings were everywhere, some of them still in the den with father and herself, others off with their own families. But the den was short one banu, the old bay banu. Yes, her father had named a new baybanu after Dara's mother died, but it did not make things right.

They might have two other mothers, but they were not HER mother by birth, the one that had died because of herself and her litter. Dara could not stand the thought that she was the cause, but she just knew it in her heart. She could not bring herself to blame any of the other cubs in her litter, especially not her twin, but that just left herself to take the blame. So it must be Dara's fault, or so the lioness was convinced. It was an old train of thought but she always seemed to come back to it. She wondered sometimes if her siblings were right that it was not her fault, but she just could not seem to let that thought stick.

So here she was yet again, looking around the communal area of the pride and thinking herself an awful daughter, banu, and lioness. She just could not help the way she felt in her heart. The white and blue lioness did hope her twin did not feel this way as well. Or any of their other siblings from the litter. Her shoulders should bare it all, in her opinion. The others should not worry themselves over it. It was illogical, but for some reason it made sense to the lioness all the more so as she had grown older. Perhaps it was the fact that she had had so long to convince herself of how right it was.  

[Kathryn Dragonna]

Rosha'Nasrin was still adjusting to life without her family. Obadias and his banus had made it so much easier by giving her things to do in the den. She had been helping with hunting, with the cubs, and even with rearranging the den the few times it was done. The last batch of cubs was all grown up now, though, so things were a bit less hectic. The majority of the leopons were off to other dens. Some of the banus had found Pads, the Pads had made their own dens and found other hybrid banus. Rosha was left a bit lonely without them around as much.

She had loved the hybrids so much. The leopons had been so cute. She had rather wished she could have kept them as cubs forever, but they had to grow up eventually. Now she had to find something else to occupy her time. The hunting wasn't enough to take up all their time, not with three banus and herself. Oba had actually told her to start looking for a Pad more actively, so that she could be happy. He seemed to think that she would not do it on her own, and he was probably right. She had been getting rather comfortable with the idea of just playing as if she was Oba's daughter and not getting a Pad.

That was not allowed, though. She had to find a Pad of her own. Not that Oba would kick her out or wanted rid of her. Oba just insisted she be happy, and knew that would require a Pad for her. Rosha was not the type of lioness that wanted to be alone for the rest of her life, but things were so complicated since her family had been wiped out by that disease. She just found it easier to hide from everyone than look for a Pad. Of course, Oba would not look for one for her. He wanted HER to pick out a Pad and tell him whom it was so he could make the arrangements. That way she would be happy.  

[Kathryn Dragonna]

Dara was just about to find a nice spot to settle down and watch everyone else, when she noticed the very bright lioness with the intricate markings. She had seen some interesting markings in the pride, but this female was something else! She did not think she had seen anyone else in the pride with the same combination of bright fur and nearly clashing markings. It nearly hurt her eyes to look at the other banu, but that just made her curious as to where she had come from. Dara grew up in the pride, but she did not remember this lioness.

The white and blue banu could not place a family that might have produced such a pelt either, and that bothered her. She might have been to blame for her mother's death, but Dara had made sure to learn most of the families of the pride. She could not learn the ones that were dead, but still, she knew all the living families she possibly could. She was not expected to know all the member's names or exact appearance, but even so, Dara had learned a lot about the pride's families. What general markings were in the families, what colors, whom had tied into whom. It was hard to remember everything, but she tried.

Dara abandoned her idea of watching everyone in silence to find out more about this lioness. It HAD to be someone's banu they brought in on their quest. That was the only possibility. The fact that the banu looked a bit older than Dara, and was unknown to her, left no other possibilities to the lioness' mind. She had no idea how wrong she was. This bright female had to fit in just so to Dara's mind. "Hello, I am banu Darakhshan, daughter of Pad Achal." She figured it was best not to speak of her dead mother just now.  

[Kathryn Dragonna]

Rosha headed out to the common area of the pride to see what pads were about and be a good banu so that she could find a Pad. She knew Obadias would be proud of her just for going out and making the effort. He had been worrying about her a bit, but she did not want him worried about anything regarding herself. She needed to find a Pad or two of interest and let Oba know. Then he would be happy to check out the Pads and not worry about Rosha. The bright lioness had thought about this idea a lot, and was very concerned about both the fact that she needed a Pad of her own, and that Oba might be worried.

Rosha had noticed the white and blue lioness walking out from the direction of one of the other dens, but really had not paid much attention to her. It was another banu, perhaps competition for the Pads, perhaps not, but it did not really matter to Rosha. She was convinced that she would find a good Pad eventually no matter what. Between how well Oba and his banus said she did with the cubs and the fact that her family had not been related to any of the others in the pride, she was sure to get a Pad.

She was a little startled with she heard herself being hailed. When had the white lioness gotten so close to Rosha? She had not been paying attention if she was so easily startled. "Hello... I am Banu Rosha'Nasrin... Daughter of... sorry temporary Banu of Pad Obadias." Rosha hoped the other banu would not think badly of the slip up. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Banu Darakhshan... I noticed you did not mention your mother's name..." Rosha looked around to make sure nobody else was listening to their conversation. "Is she dead? I am sorry to ask, but my family is as well."  

[Kathryn Dragonna]

Dara was not expecting the reply that she got from the other lioness. She had started to give a Daughter of introduction which meant she was born in pride, and not only that the lioness had caught on to Dara's mother being dead. Crap, she really had to be less obvious about that so her father did not get angry with her. She was supposed to be a good banu and angering her father in anyway was not being a good banu. The white lioness nearly missed the last part of the other lioness' comment, the part with the apology and the confession. Thankfully, she caught this and it perked her up a little. Perhaps the other lioness only asked because of her own loss?

Dara tried not to show any of her emotions on her face even as her mind worked at lightning speed. She did not want anyone to think her anything but a good banu, who was not nosy, or misbehaved, or overemotional. "Actually, yes she has passed on... I should have mentioned her anyway, but I do hope you will forgive me. I am sorry to hear about your family... If I may, it was everyone?" She was not sure if she should ask such a question, but the lioness had not given the names of her parents at all, so this had to be something very important.

Dara also wondered at the lioness being in Obadias' care. Oba was from a well known line, and he certainly did not look anything like this lioness. If it was only a temporary arrangement with Oba, then he was family... or perhaps only acting as it, for this lioness certainly looked NOTHING like that family. Rosha was as bright as Oba's family was dark, and those scroll markings did not belong in Tarq's line. Dara had been raised in the pride, though, so this lioness' family would have had to been dead a little while for her not to know them. She could not even remember anyone saying about it.  

[Kathryn Dragonna]

Rosha smiled kindly at the other lioness. As bad as it was to admit even to herself, it was rather nice to have someone around that shared her pain in a way. It meant someone that really understood what it was like to lose someone important. The bright lioness would never say such a thing outloud of course, but it did not make the comfort any less. She relaxed a bit around Dara because of the shared pain. "You do not need to apologize to me. I know how you feel. It is hard to mention those that you have lost when you do not expect the other party to understand the feeling."

Rosha curled her tail around her paws as she sat next to the white and blue lioness. "Yes, it was everyone... We were not a very big family, small litters and mostly boys until myself and my sisters were born... but the disease took them out. The healers could not do anything for it. I did not get it and the rest of the pride was protected from it." The blue lioness shrugged her shoulders a bit. "Luckily it did not spread from the healers or myself... I guess my family was just unlucky." It was hard to think of how they had suffered and died. Rosha wasn't even sure where they got it from.

The lioness had been over everything with the healers that had come and their best guess was it was something from food. What food they could have had that would cause it was anyone's guess, though. Especially since Rosha did not get it, and nobody else in the pride got it. Rosha sighed as she sat there. "It is hard to lose just one, let alone so many. I miss them all so much. I need to find a Pad, but I do not know whom will love such a misplaced banu. Uncle Oba is so kind to me, but he has always been more family than otherwise. He wants me to be happy."  

[Kathryn Dragonna]

Dara felt awful for the other lioness. This banu had lost everything, not just her mother like Dara. Dara could not imagine loosing her father or her siblings. How hard would it be when she did lose them one at a time? It must have been much harder to lose them all at once. How could Dara's situation really even compare? Yes, she had lost her mother, but she never knew her mother before it happened. She only knew what she looked like by the descriptions her relatives gave. The only others Dara had lost were those that did not come home with their father. That just was not the same, though.

Her siblings that had stayed with their uncle had chosen to live outside the pride. They were not dead, and they could, if they wanted, come into the pride at a later time. It was very unlikely that they would, even if Dara did wish her twin would do so, but there was always that chance and the knowledge that they were alive and well the last she had seen them. Rosha did not have that comfort. She KNEW her family was dead. She could not just pretend they were not or live in ignorance of whether or not she was wrong, like Dara did. This lioness was forced to face the truth every day and still go on.

Dara wondered how she did it. How did this lioness go on with everyday knowing she had lost her family? And to be with a Temporary pad... Dara had not even realized such a thing existed. She had always assumed that once you left your father you stayed with that Pad forever unless you angered him somehow. But Obadias had been kind enough to take her in, even though he did not want her as his own Banu, and knowing that he was going to have to find another Pad for her. He really must think of her as family. Perhaps her male relatives and he were close? That would explain it, Dara supposed.  

[Kathryn Dragonna]

Rosha watched the way Dara's face fell and twisted into a pained expression. Pain and pity were something that the bright lioness was used to seeing others display toward her, but in this case it was not just for Rosha that the other lioness displayed such things. This lioness felt pain and pity for herself as well. It was not exactly a pleasant change in some ways, for Rosha did not like the fact that the younger lioness had a reason to feel such pain and self pity, but at the same time, there was that guilty little pleasure of not being the only one.

Misery was easier when shared, or so Rosha had come to believe. It was much easier to deal with when she took the time to speak to Uncle Oba about the loss since he shared the loss of good friends in her loss of family. In this instance it was easier for a few moments because she could speak to another that had lost someone so close as she had. Eventually it would be okay again. It would never be right, but it could go back to being okay, and perhaps some day be good in a different way with different others to share her life. But how did she tell that to this lioness that probably did not understand this yet?  

[Kathryn Dragonna]

Dara put a paw on the other lioness' shoulder and tried to sort out her own thoughts enough to find something to say. She should try to say something, but what? It was difficult to think of anything that would not sound shallow and meaningless. Her thoughts were full of things that she wanted to say. They were ideas that she just could not form into sentences. It seemed so important to try, though, and all she ended up doing was jumbling everything around to the point that she could make even less sense of it in her own head. The white lioness wanted to smack herself for being so stupid.

Dara had to find one thought at a time to focus on. What was the last thing that was said? Rosha spoke of Oba being so kind to her. Starting point found, now to work on building from it. "It is good to have someone whom cares. I know my family is a very big help with not having mother around... I just cannot understand the amount of pain you have. I am sorry." What else was there to say, but the truth. Dara could not completely wrap her mind around it, and it bothered her to no end to admit this. Unfortunately it was the truth of the situation.

"I am sure any Pad would be happy to have a Banu that will cherish having a family. I do not think you are misplaced. I think you just need to see the place you fit into yourself." Dara nodded sagely, not really understanding what she said, but thinking she did. She had her moments when she managed to be good at saying helpful things. Her poor brain was going to take a long time to mull over what had happened to Rosha and perhaps at some point she would truly understand it. "We have been here a while, we probably should return to our dens before your uncle and my father worry."  

[Kathryn Dragonna]

Rosha smiled at the other lioness' words. It had been so long since either of them had said anything, she was afraid that they might not have a conversation anymore. She certainly could not think of anything to say and the other lioness's silence had been starting to make her worry. The bright lioness was glad that the other banu hand finally found something to comment on so that the conversation could continue. They had really needed to get out of the awkward stall that they had managed to get the conversation into.

The paw to the shoulder had rather shocked Rosha, enough that she had ignored it all together until after the other lioness was finished speaking. Even in that long stretch of silence the lioness had not really reacted to the touch because she was too stunned that it happened. This lioness actually wanted to offer comfort to Rosha! This lioness that was barely and adult was offering to comfort Rosha! She really should be the one doing that for her! And yet, there it was. She put a paw on the other lioness' shoulder and smiled softly.

"Uncle Oba's caring does help. Be glad of the family you do have. I am sure that the others love you greatly. I appreciate the sympathy, and I extend the same to you... I hope you do not dwell too much on the loss of your mother... I am sure that you will have much easier time finding a caring Pad than I." She had a twinkle in her eye as she teased the other lioness. "You are quite right, though. It is late and we should be going. I hope to see you again." Rosha hurried off to Oba's den. When she looked over her shoulder she saw that Dara was off as well.