[1v1] Self-Destructive Habits [Shik/Shaheen] (FIN)

[medigel]

"Maybe so, but at least I am pretty." Burn?

It was getting worse? Gods . . . But Shaheen was playing it off as a nuisance, and if that was how she wanted to cope with her condition then he'd shrug and follow suit. Far be it from Insanity to taint the day. "But must I? Damn, and I was just starting to enjoy the sport . . ." And Shik gave a great sigh of lament to play into the joke, even as his jaw protested the motion.

The over-dazzling smile elicited a snort, and an amused grin spread on his lips as she threaded her fingers behind his neck. "How precious. Did they also ask you to become a vegetarian?" he asked with the utmost and most supreme seriousness, letting his hands fall about her waist. "Or, better, hug a Hunter and call it a draw?"

Seussi

 

[Seussi]

She offered him a very dead pan look at the pretty comment. She wasn't one hundred percent sure that he was insulting her, but it felt like an insult, somehow. Not that she gave a pile of horse manure if she was considered pretty or not, just the fact that he may have insulted her was enough to earn him the look. The one that said 'Hey, we can settle this with another fight if you really want, but this time I promise I will be the winner.'

Except that she was actually, for once, too worn out to feel like fighting right at that moment. But she would. If he made her.

"Ah yes well, my head could use a break, I think, so I will stop hitting you in the jaw, and you will stop hitting me in the head...just for a little while." It would have sounded more like a compromise if she had made it sound as such and not more like a demand.

His grin had her own beginnings of a smile, a genuine one, tugging at the corners of her lips. Of course, even then the best she was able to offer was a smirk, though she was clearly amused by what he had to say.

"Oh of course not! It is just the poor defenseless and innocent humans she wanted to save. I can slaughter and eat as many other creatures as I wish, just not the poor humans. " Something in her face and eyes suddenly turned dark, her lips twisting into something more like a sneer as she remembered the conversation in full. She could not understand the students stance towards humans. How could they possible want to save them? Her fingers began to tighten behind Shik's neck, fingernails barely biting into skin before she caught herself and stopped.

She shook her head as though to rid herself of the thoughts, leaning forward to press her forehead against Shik's, her eyes closing. "I'd rather hug a porcupine." She muttered, and then peeking open one golden eye, offered him a half-smirk.

"Did you know that my parents did not like you? They told me to stay away from you when I was younger." Trust Shaheen to throw out something completely random and out of left field into the conversation.

"They never said why, though. Maybe they thought you would corrupt me, somehow." Well, as it turned out, she had become corrupted regardless, and it was far from Shik's fault. But it mattered very little, since they were both dead.  

[medigel]

Shik considered giving her a bring it on look in response, but restrained himself to just a cheeky smile. Gods knew he didn't need her opening his chest cavity up with that wound still there. "I can agree to that ceasefire." And for that sentence only, his jaw didn't throb.

"Hug a porcupine, hmm? I'd pay a few tokens to see that," he said with a chuckle as their foreheads pressed. "But I hope you assured the student that you were defending the livestock from themselves, by means of culling the idiots."

And speaking of idiots! Oh, the darling pair that constituted Shaheen's parents. Shik's mouth spread into a grin when she brought them up, clicking his tongue. "They didn't? I'm shocked and wounded by the accusation! It wasn't my fault their daughter had the deadly combination of an injured boar's temper and a lion's pride, or that she kept running my games afoul."  

[Seussi]

"I assured the student that there was nothing she could do or say to make me stop killing humans." She shrugged, because that was all there had been to it, her wings also rising and falling with the action.

She shook her head against Shik's, head rocking slowly back and forth against his forehead, hair tickling against her own cheeks as well as likely against his. "Nope! But I mean, could you really blame them? Their daughter, perfect in every way, destined to become something great, associating herself with nothing more then a common beast?" She let our a short, sharp laugh before she pulled her face away from his, suddenly studying him intently with narrowed, golden eyes, the amusement from earlier gone again, her moods seemingly shifting just as quickly as the tides.

"Lucky for you I didn't listen to them!" She finally proclaimed, after studying him silently for what likely felt like an awfully long and awkward period of time. "Or you would have missed my temper and my pride." Oh yes, that cocky smirk had made it's return. "Don't even deny it!"  

[medigel]

He blinked once in response and snorted in such a way that Shaheen's hair was briefly blown away from his face, feeling less tickled and more like a rock being tugged along a current that led to rapids. Sometimes Shik wondered just how much the Insanity had corroded the chieftain's mind. Had her moods always been so hard to follow? One moment as pleased as can be, the next scrutinizing him with the narrowed gaze of a predator, and then reverting back to her usual smirk.

"Lucky? You don't listen to anyone anyway," he pointed out with a smirk of his own as he straightened up. "Unless it was your parents to a point, or someone else that mattered insulted you. I recall one distinct moment where I had said the only thing you perfectly were was a b***h - I also recall how fond you were of rocks back then, as well as spears and knives and anything else within reach you could toss properly. You collectively shaved off a few inches of skin." He glanced down to his chest wound. "Another habit you've also retained." But he wasn't denying anything she said, which meant something right?

Releasing her waist, Shik lightly crossed his arms and studied her. "Which is winning out right now, Shaheen: your pride or your demons?" he suddenly asked.  

[Seussi]

Shaheen was definitely struggling with something at that particular moment. Though the voices in her head were being more...distracting...then usual, she wasn't even sure if her behavior could have been blamed entirely on that. It definitely could take a good portion of it, however. Never before had she struggled so much to keep her emotions in check. She lacked focus, though some days were at least better then others. But then there was also the fall of the isles. That was not without some psychological baggage. Being there, in the middle of all that chaos when it happened. Witnessing the destruction and death of most of their people. Being thrown into a new home, where structures of hierarchy and chains of command were entirely different to what she was used to.

And then there was this. Whatever this even was. It was confusing, and she was at the point where she didn't even want to think about it anymore. Except that it felt too much like giving in. Like she was yielding to some strange force that she had spent a very long time fighting against. She didn't like that feeling, and so whatever this was, it still rankled on her. She didn't like to lose a battle.

When he spoke there was really nothing she could do except listen. Nothing that he said was untrue, and some of it even brought back memories that made her want to laugh. Yes, old habits died hard, and Shik had been unlucky enough to be one of her favorite targets back then, as he continued to be now.

"I remember. I guess some things really don't change." No apologies, though. Shaheen never apologized for her actions, even when she was clearly in the wrong.

She was just starting to think about how very pleasant this moment was, and wondering when something was going to happen to change that. It turned out not to be very long, however, as Shik's hands left her waist and he poised her with a rather difficult question, and not one that she really felt like answering or that he had a right to ask. Unless he was trying to say something without saying it. Her eyes narrowed at him suspiciously, and perhaps a bit dangerously.

"Right now?" Her hands tightened a little on the back of his neck as she leaned her face in nice and close. "It's hard to tell. What do you think?" the last words were hissed directly into his face.

Ol-j-man

I should not tag while falling asleep. Don't even know if half of it makes sense

 

[medigel]

"If you can't tell, then how can I?"

Having someone's face so close and with a ferocity most evident upon it was hard to endure, but Shik had had much practice when it came to Shaheen's particular brand of intensity. Even so, the twinge she induced at the back of his neck made an eye involuntarily twitch; the base of his hair was one of the few weak points on him. He was, he realized once more, in a precarious situation: one wrong word might send him into a realm of pain and possible dissipation, so weak was his Fear shield.

Even so, he kept his gaze trained on hers. "I can only tell you what I see, Shaheen, and that is a woman who has many burdens and yet speaks and acts as if they were nothing to bear. Far be it from me to tell someone how to act, let alone you, but I'm starting to believe that the stress is mounting within." Peeling a hand out from cross of arms, he placed one finger under her chin almost delicately, the tip of the nail barely grazing the skin. "And I believe that if you do not reconcile what it is that plagues you, you truly will go mad."  

[Seussi]

His words took her a little bit aback, but she didn't lean away from him or loosen her grip in the slightest. She was fairly certain that if he needed to, he could defend himself, or that if she was hurting him, he would growl at her to stop. As he'd done neither, she had to assume he was not all that bothered.

Of course, everything he said felt like a punch to the stomach for her. Was she really so easy to read now? Had her control really slipped so much that Shik just had to glance at her and he knew exactly how to diagnose her issues? Her golden eyes burned into his much darker ones, searching for any hint of mockery, and saw nothing. Slowly she relaxed, the tension in her body visibly easing away, her hands loosening though still were not removed.

And suddenly she was reminded of a certain horsewoman of conquest who also seemed to notice that Shaheen had troubles. What was it that she had called herself again? A confident. Yes. Somebody Shaheen could speak to try and sort out her problems, to keep her secrets. But that was somebody Shaheen barely even knew. This was Shikoba, somebody she had known practically her entire life. He couldn't possibly understand what it was she was going through, but he had certainly dealt with his own burdens.

"I speak and act that way because my burdens are simply that. Mine. Nobody should feel obligated to help me, nobody should have to share in them." She paused, needing a moment to think, which she suddenly found difficult to do while staring into the eyes of the man in front of her. It was all rather vexing, really.

And then that claw against the underside of her chin, and that was it. Something in her look softened a little. Just the tiniest bit. Not very much thought. It was minuscule, really.

"What do you think I am trying to do?" She asked, before leaning forward and pressing her lips against his. Yes, she considered Shik a plague. Yes she was attempting to reconcile. This was how her thought process worked.  

[medigel]

In the end, everything boiled down to one thing: control. How to walk a fine line between two extremes and pass without falling. How to only graze skin with a nail instead of puncturing it. How to keep a placid expression when engaged with an unpredictable opponent, or maintain eye contact even as theirs dug and pierced. Shik was all about control and knew it was not as blatant to the eye as some claimed it to be, and he was well aware of how each and every one of those little acts affected Shaheen, turbulent as her mood could be.

”Mmm,” he replied, an empathizing sound and nothing more. He didn’t need to, he thought; it was no secret that Shik had a loner’s tendencies and thus would share the mindset, so why reaffirm the obvious? And while he couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was stressing her, it didn't take a genius to guess at the suspect culprits. So he had done what came natural for him and tapped the ice so to speak, letting the cracks, if any, form on their own.

It was, he reasoned, how this beautiful creature in his lap had thus decided to become more forthright with him. Shaheen was met with little resistance on that front.

”So I’m to be your release?” he murmured against her lips, though it was evident that if so he didn’t seem to care. Somehow a hand had snaked up her neck and was pressing her forward more and more into the kiss, or whatever it would end up metamorphosing into. It didn’t matter to him – unlike last time, he made no excuse for a lack of stamina. If anything, it was quite the opposite.  

[Seussi]

There was really no reason for Shaheen to be wise to Shik's little game of manipulation. She was terrible at it, herself. If she wanted something, she just said that she wanted it, or took it...much as she was doing right now. Sometimes she would even ask, but that was a rare occurrance. And the chieftain had no idea that she was not the one in control, here. She believed that in her current position, that she was the one deciding how things were going to play out. She was calling the shots. She was in charge of the situation.

Poor, deluded, Shaheen.

She might have answered his question, if she could have, but there was really no time to as Shik drew her in closer just as her mouth opened slightly to do so, cutting off any words she might have had. And as soon as that first kiss broke off, well, it was only for a quick breath of air, not even bothering to pull away, one hand trailing down to dig nails into his lower back while the other kept it's position behind his head, kissing him again, and again, like she was hungry for it and just couldn't get enough, her last shred of reserve crumbling. She wanted this. She wanted him.

Finally, feeling breathless and like her entire body was overheating, her face flushed pink beneath her bronzed skin, she stopped, pulling away ever so slightly to speak, her lips quirking up as she stared into his eyes with her own glittering gold orbs. "Yes." And then, perhaps as an afterthought, a small shrug of one shoulder. "I mean, if that's what you want." She, very obviously, wanted it.

Ol-j-man

 

[medigel]

In spite of the stinging pain of bodily contact and sweat upon open wounds, or of withholding air only to fill it with short gasps, Shik was relentless: he could feel the cracks in her resolve and pressed his advantage, seeking her out even when she broke for breath because had had known, knew, that eventually he would prevail. Eventually she was going to give in. She had during their last fight, and she would this one as well.

It was an innate though that told him not to pursue after one particular pull-away, meeting her amber eyes with what could have been a mischievous glint in his own as he caught his breath. "Hmm." Shik feigned contemplation as he trailed a hand along her jaw and let it fall away down and off, as if to brush hair away; his other hand had yet to leave the nape of her neck. ". . . I could do worse," he eventually answered with an impish grin. "Very well. Though I'm surprised you're leaving me a choice, Shaheen."

Never not teasing.  

[Seussi]

And for once, she took his little jibe for all that it was. An insult, but a teasing one. Though that didn't stop her eyes from narrowing at him slightly, even as her smirk remained, one eyebrow lifting. He could really do no better, in her opinion. She was the best. He should feel honored that she was choosing him.

Wait, choosing? That thought almost made her mentally draw back a bit to try and get a clearer picture. Except that she didn't want to get a clearer picture. She knew if she thought about it too much, she would change her mind and walk away, only for this strange cycle to begin anew. At some point she just needed to give in. Was surrendering really so bad? All wars ended with a victor. Would it kill her to willingly let that not be herself? Or was this actually more like a truce? A truce. Yes, if she thought about it like that, it made this weakness on her behalf more bearable. It made this...okay. This was okay.

As for the choice thing...a part of her just needed to hear that he actually wanted her too. That this wasn't just her demanding for something and getting her way like she often did. But with Shik, when did demanding anything ever work? That was at least a comforting thought. And it made the voices in her head shut up a little as well. Even if it was just for one night, she realized it felt good to be wanted.

"Maybe I'm just feeling generous tonight." Was her only reply, combined with a sly look, one that may have held a little bit of malicious intent. That coupled with her all too usual smirk...yes, Shaheen was leering.

At some point she would maybe realize that she might have to actually remove herself from Shik's lap for this to be able to go any further.

Ol-j-man

Enjoy the mental imagery of Shaheen leering~

 

[medigel]

"Generous? You?" He couldn't help but laugh a little, letting his fingers entangle with her hair. "How fortunate for me."

Her leer was met with a bright flash of teeth that was meant to be a smile. As much as they had done and were leading towards, guards were hard to put down when one's grip was too used to holding the handle. Certainly for Shik he didn't allow himself to be completely consumed even with Shaheen warm and close, as much as it tempted him to say nothing at all and simply take her then and there.

After all, it was entertaining to let her believe she had the reigns.

"So...Shall we? Or are you content to lord over me still?" he asked with a cheeky look.

Seussi

XD

 

[Seussi]

While Shik was busying himself with letting his fingers get all wrapped up and tangled in her hair, producing that flash of teeth that wasn't quite a smile but was close enough, Shaheen was giving into temptation and leaning forward again, brushing lips against his cheek, nipping lightly with her teeth against his jaw (the opposite one of that which she had hit earlier), before bringing her mouth up against his again, forcing him to either quit making some horrible attempt at smiling or have her kiss him on the teeth.

And then after she was finished with that she rested her forehead against his again, taking a moment to relearn how to breathe properly. "Hmmmm?" She just needed a second. Apparently she needed to relearn how to think straight as well.

Damn you Shikoba Len.

Oh wait, okay, she saw what he meant now. She pulled her head away to look down, as though only just noticing that she was actually sitting on top of him, her smirk widening. Right. She needed to move. Slowly she released her arms that were wrapped around his body, leaning in for just one more kiss before placing her hands on his thighs and pushing herself up so that she was standing over him for just a moment, then moving to one side.

And then she had to wait for Shik because she had no idea what she was doing.Not that she'd ever admit it. Likely it would become obvious pretty quickly.

Ol-j-man

IDEK I say time skip it XD

 

[medigel]

Don't worry, Shaheen.



He did.