Dreaming Wide Awake [Domevlo/Asali]

[OP-Yuna]

Memories of a time long forgotten cast illusions before his eyes. Day and night, they never left him alone. He couldn't make sense of any of it, and thus found himself staring at the wall of one of many caves, as if there were supposed to be something there. Then after long moments the frustration swelled and he lashed out at the wall - claws sparking against the stone. He turned away and raked a large paw over his head, through his mane.

The frustratingly vague memories - if they were that - began not long after the pride had settled here. At first it was curiosity that drew Domevlo to search the mountain - perhaps these visions were prophesy? Perhaps visions like the seers saw? But Domevlo never found what he sought, and then more and more they came, each more disjointed than the rest, and feelings that were foreign to him stirred. He became more manic and thus separated himself, taking up permanent residence up higher than the rest of the pride dare climb.

Each day he felt as if he were growing more mad. He sought to put an end to it. He sought to understand. But the more he tried the more it eluded him. Caverns and tunnels that were supposed to be there, weren't. Deep song and boisterous laughter that sounded so real to his ears, were not there. Names whispered in the back of his mind, he could not place faces to, despite how in his heart he felt he should know...

Was there no solace? Was there no forgetting whatever wanted him to remember? Did he even want to remember? There was something dark there in those memories, in those dreams. Dark and cold - so foreign, yet so close to his heart....

meepfur

 

[Meepfur]

No one was supposed to climb this high. No one was supposed to venture into the caves. Both were considered dangerous ventures. That never stopped Asali, of course, but she was a goddess, and certain rules - and even some dangers - didn't apply to her. She could go wherever she pleased, and had an easier time of it besides; there was no need to climb when she could magic herself here and there. Despite the accessiblity of the heights and caverns of the mountain, however, she wasn't usually inclined to spend much time up here.

...unless she was following someone. She'd been curious, at first, as to what exactly Domevlo was doing up here, but grown concerned when he stayed. She had always had a difficult-to-describe fondness - if that was even the right word - for the scarred giant, even before he had captured Mysmyr and been the first lion in memory not of the royal bloodline to be named a Noble. He was, quite simply, fascinating. Even now.

It was probably wrong to watch him, but she couldn't help herself. Divinity fed into all sort of bad habits, apparently, including what some might consider spying. She preferred to call it observing. While invisible.

F a y t h - x

 

[OP-Yuna]

A presence... Domevlo turned to see Asali. Of course. Who else would dare climb? Who else would care. Alas, she must have thought him mad to venture up here. Maybe he was. He was well on the road, anyway.

What does one say to their goddess when they've been caught in the throws of delirium? How did one properly address without fear of rudeness, or accusation? Domevlo could come up with no such greeting, but at the least it occupied his mind for a time, before the desperate thought that she might be able to help him took seed.

"I cannot make sense of it," he began, looking at the spot on the cave wall where his claws had sparked against it, before looking back at Asali, "My heart remembers the mountain and my mind sees, but my eyes can not find."

Was he even making any sense? hearing it come out of his own mouth, in his own raspy voice, it sounded like complete lunacy.

Meepfur

 

[Meepfur]

Asali tilted her horned head slightly as he spoke. That he was coherent was a relief, and he seemed lucid enough, despite whatever his troubles were. His words weren't difficult to understand - the thought behind them he was trying to communicate was plain enough. She had lost her own memories upon her rebirth, and she was familiar with the hazy transition state between not remembering and remembering, though for her it had been more unsettling than traumatic.

She stepped closer, stopping just short of touching distance. She wasn't sure of his state of mind yet, and didn't want to risk disturbing him. "You've lived on - in? - a mountain before. But it wasn't this one. Is that what it is?"

F a y t h - x

 

[OP-Yuna]

"That may be it, yes..."

It seemed like such an obvious answer....and yet in his own mind he had not been able to come to that conclusion himself.

"But I can not leave here to be sure. The land out there has no love for me. For what reason, I do not know."

If he sought the land his resurfacing memories showed him, then he would surely find out and yet...he was afraid to know, because in those memories also lay a foreign darkness - a maliciousness, power hungry and false. Even greater than all that was the chilling fear that that very darkness was within him.

But if he stayed, would he not grow more mad? Until he had made the puzzle of his mind whole, could he ever regain his sanity?

He did not want to leave his home, for fear of the pains he'd known while without it. He could not stay for fear that his memories would drive him insane. He could return, yes, once he'd made them complete? What if he could not make it back? What was he leaving here but memories that would fade with time?

The future was uncertain, as was he. Domevlo was not sure what he should do. His mind hurt, exhausted from being pulled all ways at once.

Meepfur

 

[Meepfur]

"Once one has started to remember, I do not think there is any stopping it. It will all come, sooner or later, here or there." That was her best guess on the matter, at any rate, but as usual, she left any uncertainty out of her words. Uncertainty did not become her as a goddess any more than it had as a Queen. She'd always been very good at sounding like she knew what she was talking about or doing, even when she didn't.

Soiunding curious, however, was not something she felt compelled to avoid. "If you could leave, would you?"

F a y t h - x

 

[OP-Yuna]

"Only with the hope that I may return, one way or another. Alive or dead. The only kindness I have known is here, and it is here my soul rests."

Not that there was much rest right now, with his mind plagued with long forgotten memories. But there was more anxiety at the thought of the evils he'd been subjected to in the outside world...

Meepfur

 

[Meepfur]

"Or dead?" Asali pulled a frown, somewhat dismayed by his choice of words. She appreciated the sentiment, of course, and had most anyone else said it, she would have expressed approval. Coming from Domevlo, though, she didn't like it - which itself was bemusing. "Now that I will not have. My Noble is not to wander off and never return."

F a y t h - x

 

[OP-Yuna]

"Then trust I will find my way back....in one form or another."

They were foreboding words, though Domevlo could make little by way of promises. The future was uncertain, and Domevlo was not quite sure what he intended to do. He could not help but to doubt what he saw in those troubled dreams of his - were they dream or memory? Even the things his mind whispered that felt so foreign yet familiar - he had nothing but doubt. And it was the doubt that halted his further investigations beyond the borders of the pride's lands.

"I am not sure what i wish to do. I've not been in the best state for reason."

Meepfur

 

[Meepfur]

Had she yet been mortal, the thought of Domevlo's death might not have disturbed her so. She had believed once in spirits, in ghosts and in reincarnation, as all Jini-misemi did, but she knew now that those beliefs were false. Fiction perpetuated by Mama Bwawa, and now by herself. It troubled her, when she allowed it to. Not today. Today, it was Domevlo who troubled her. What about the prospect of losing him permanently was so abhorrent? He would not be the first or last lion of her acquaintance to die or disappear. She wasn't even especially close to him, not on a very personal level, and yet she was...attached. Asali had family she was less attached to.

"You need not decide anything right this moment, and certainly not if you are feeling...unreasonable." And there should follow some iteration of 'don't make rash decisions,' vague advice offered in a somber tone to make it sound wise, but she found her own words leaving a bad taste in her mouth and did not want to speak them.

"Stay awhile, either way, and find other things with which to occupy yourself." Vague again. Ridiculously indirect. An uncomfortable habit to break. She crinkled her nose in annoyance at herself and amended, "Stay with me awhile."

"...Please."

F a y t h - x

 

[OP-Yuna]

He looked at her a moment, silent, with his half-alive face bearing an unreadable expression. Then he nodded. At least while Asali was there, his mind had some clarity, remedying him of painful thought and emotional turmoil.

"Aye."

Meepfur

 

[Meepfur]

Asali was not often nervous, especially not these days, but she could not deny her relief when he agreed. She could easily come up with a dozen different excuses reasons for her request, for today, most of which avoided anything particularly emotional - and she likely would adopt one of them, sooner or later - but for now, she wouldn't waste the time. She wanted to do this, and so she would do it - what other reason did she need?

Saying nothing more, the goddess went to him.

F a y t h - x

 

[OP-Yuna]

And Domevlo would not ask for reasons, nor would he deny Asali now. He had no reason to. He wasn't looking for a reason, either.

Domevlo, who always seemed to be calculating, thinking, at home in his mind, was putting thinking aside, for his mind had become a hostile battlefield, and for now Asali was a safe harbor for which he might lose himself for a while.

meepfur

Fin?