[PRP] Resented Companionship [Angusho/Chekelea]

[ShinosBee]

The pale purple lioness didn't exactly hurry to the little watering hole, but nor did she waste time. Distantly she wished that there was something better to carry water in besides the bone clenched tight between her teeth - it was really little more than a mouthful, but that was better than nothing, she supposed. She dunked her head into the water and shook herself off once (hissing as the thrown droplets left wet trails over the wounds on her shoulder) before ducking under the surface again to fill the bone. Some of the blood, his blood that had stained around her lips washed off but she wanted to be sure that the water in the bone was clean. He might not mind - it was his own blood after all, but clean water would taste better.

She picked a delicate path back to the little clearing where she'd left the male. Hopefully he would have consented to turning himself over while she was gone. There was no way she would be strong enough to force him onto his other side, thinned by hunger or not. And she'd sensed, perhaps, that he would not care to have her watch as he turned himself if it gave any sort of hint to his weakened state. She would do her best to respect his need to appear in control, and strong. He really WAS strong, she noted as she slipped into the clearing and saw he'd indeed turned himself over. She hadn't heard any noises of pain, though he had to, had to be miserable.

And he hadn't tried to leave, either.

The meat was untouched, and she once again lowered herself to rest the bone-bowl of water nearby for him. "Thank you," She offered him a quick but hesitantly small smile. "For your patience. Let me know if you'd like more? I know the bone is a bit...small." It wouldn't be too hard to keep refilling the dish at his whim. And it would feel like...not a victory, but a step in the right sort of direction if he willingly let her do something for him. She rose then to return to tending the wounds on his legs. This one...the one that dragged behind him...was much, much worse. It hadn't torn open, because it'd been all but useless to push off when he'd leapt...but it was a hideous mess of mangled flesh. She was gentle, so very gentle as she lay down beside him to start the tedious chore of cleaning the various injuries. She hoped he would not strike her again...but fear did not keep her from settling well within reach once more.

"...You know my name now. Might...may I ask yours?" She cared less about who he was for now, but still had to wonder. Who was he? And who'd done this to him and why? She doubted he'd tell her.

Cajanic

 

[Cajanic]

The large lion watched as she returned, she eyes narrowing somewhat as he observed her. It wasn't that he wanted her leave, but he didn't understand why she would keep coming back to help him out. After all, he had just injured her, hadn't he? And he hadn't been very kind to her despite all her efforts to help him out. Any sane lioness would have left him, if not from fear but from general irritation. But none of that seemed to bother her. Because she was kind, and good, and all the things he absolutely hated. The things he had never grown up with, and had actually grown to loathe as a result. Things he refused to allow into his life as much as possible. That gentle touch- he didn't need it. He was a monster and a murderer, and that's all he ever wanted to be. Unfortunately, with the state of his leg he highly doubted that he would be able to take up the mantle of worst lion around again.

He would be lucky if he could manage hunting on his own.

He watched her silently as she started to clean the new set of wounds. There was probably something to be said about her diligence, but he wasn't the kind to offer compliments to those he liked, much less those he found really irritating. Then again, he wasn't sure there WAS anyone he liked. In any case, it seemed like she was a hard working lioness, and stubborn in her own, kind way.

When she asked for his name, he growled, closing his eyes and turning his head slightly away from the water she had brought him. He hadn't had any of it this time around, but only because he had been so busy glaring at her.

"Angusho," he said after a moment, deciding it didn't really matter if she knew his name or not. At that point, it hardly made a difference. She had already seen him hurt himself and lie around like a helpless lump. Knowing his name wasn't going to add insult to injury, unless she said it was a cute name.

He kept his head turned from her, closing his eyes while having no intention of going to sleep.

"I don't know why lions like you do this kind of thing," he grumbled, "helping when you don't need to. The weak should just be left to die- that's how it's always been for me."

ShinosBee

 

[ShinosBee]

The lioness struggled not to cringe as she worked at the tattered limb - he probably already knew how bad it was, and making faces over it wouldn't help anyone. He'd said she couldn't hurt him, but she still wanted to treat him gently. Do this with as little additional pain as could be managed. And the leg...didn't look so bad. Well. It was the worst injury she'd ever seen, but it didn't matter. He seemed to be made of pretty stern stuff; he was certainly tougher than she would be if their situation was reversed. He at least would keep fighting. That thought made her smile just a bit.

She cocked an ear in his direction as he grumbled to himself. Was he really so against the idea of company? Maybe she shouldn't blame him. After all, someone had done this to him. She'd be weary of people too, probably. She very much wanted to know how it'd happened. The idea that perhaps he'd brought it on himself didn't even cross her innocent mind.

"Angusho?" She did her best to say it they way he had, tasting the sound of it along with the grit of his injuries. It sounded like a strong name. A fighter's name. That was good - he'd need strength to keep on after this, though he seemed to be managing. Or he would be once she put him to rights. Stubbornness was one thing, but letting your injuries get this bad simply because he didn't want to clean them?

Maybe he didn't know how to clean them. Maybe no one had ever shown him. That idea was a very sad one, to think he'd never been shown kindness.

His words seemed to confirm her thoughts, and for a beat it felt like her heart was being rent in two. Of course she assumed he meant that no one had ever been kind to him, not the other way around. She felt compelled to reply - it was perhaps the most he'd spoken to her at once, other than to chastise her - and she had more conviction in her tone than perhaps she expected to hear from herself. "Because I wanted to." It was a simple answer, but true. She'd wanted to help him - what other reason did she need? She knew she'd get nothing out of it, of course, but that wasn't the point.

"And because you're not weak. You're strong, right? So you should live." Everyone should live, but she already felt she'd pushed enough. He'd probably just scoff at her words anyway. And that was okay - in the meantime, she'd all but finished cleaning his leg.

Cajanic

 

[Cajanic]

ShinosBee

Because she wanted to- that was her answer? He would have called it stupid if it wasn't the exact same reason he did half the things he had during the span of his life. "Because I wanted to" was pretty much his code of conduct, and the only rule he held himself to besides making sure he was always number one. Since the latter was no longer true for him, all he had was doing what he wanted. Then again, he didn't really have that, either, since his wounds would prevent him from being able to fight again. Even if he did somehow manage to survive them, and even with her cleaning them he wasn't sure that was going to happen, he would still be crippled. Unable to walk properly, probably incapable of running period. He wouldn't be able to hunt well for himself and there was absolutely no way he would be able to kill again. Not everyone was going to be close enough to his body that he could just happen to get a lucky kick off on them like he had with her.

He was going to have to change his whole world. And the thought of that really pissed him off. Everything he had lived for, and lived by, gone in a flash. He was almost jealous that she could still live by 'because I wanted to' when he couldn't.

Though he couldn't imagine why she would want to help others- that was still something that confused him. All the things in the world that she could want to do and she picked the one thing that was absolutely useless.

Boggled his mind.

He frowned, resting his head against the dirt. "I was strong," he corrected her with an indignant snarl, "now I'm just as pathetic and weak as the rest of this world. If I can't fight, I have no place on this miserable planet. No purpose. It is not a gift that you are helping me, and don't expect me to be thankful." His words were rough and cold, but he was never the nicest guy around to begin with. And now he was bitter. So very, very bitter. Everything had been ruined and he had nothing left. Understandably, it made him a bit depressed, though he would never admit it. As far as he was concerned he was just accepting his place in life, and that he was meant to die. Only whimpering little girly lions got depressed about their position in life.

He wouldn't thank her for helping him, even if his legs weren't hurting as much now that they weren't as dirty as they had been. Or that he was feeling less parched after the water she had brought.  

[ShinosBee]

He seemed to accept her answer. Or at least he wasn't grumbling any more than he already was. He was certainly still unhappy- why wouldn't he be? But it seemed like he was suffering less. She hmmed a disbelieving note when he chided her for her observations. He WAS strong to her. Many others would have died from these wounds, and she herself would probably be too far to save, and whimpering, crying out from pain. He bore it stoically, and had ample life left in him. How else could he muster such fire? The acid to be bitter, though it stung her gentle soul, only affirmed to her that her actions were helping somewhat. That she'd made the right choice in being too stubborn to leave.

"Why do you think you're weak?" She at last asked. He had complained of his miserable status plenty, for someone who'd not deigned to talk to her more than a few threats before this day, and she was genuinely interested. He thought that because he could not fight, he was useless? Because he might at times need help with things, he was helpless? She'd never been a warrior. She could understand the basic instinctive fear of losing her ability to provide for herself, but his ire and pain were too strong for just that. He'd been a soldier, she decided internally. Perhaps a guard for some pride, or a great fighter. Her pacifist's heart would never know the pain of the loss of the abilities she put the most stock in - but she could understand the pain of a body that would betray the spirit living inside. More than he knew, or she would say, for now.

"Perhaps you can find a new place," She murmured, looking up from her at last completed work. His side was not so garish, but it was still a torn and frightening thing. It would need tending. "I don't need your thanks, but life itself is a gift," He probably wouldn't care for her sweet words. He'd find them cloying or another reason to call her weak. "Even the weak fight. If you really were without purpose," She eyed him over briefly, "Wouldn't you stop fighting death too?" She smiled, Hoped her positive mood would reach him somehow. "There's more to living than fighting, too. Nice things. Things that make you happy." Maybe if he mentioned something, she could find it or do it to cheer him up. It made her ace to see even an almost-stranger so miserable.

Cajanic

 

[Cajanic]

ShinosBee

Angusho growled when she asked him why he thought he was weak, raising his head to look back at her with a sharp, enraged eyes as he bared his fangs. "I do not THINK that I'm weak- it was proven in my defeat. Disgusting though it is, I lost to my own son. I should have been killed- it would have been the right way of things." He imagined it made him more pathetic that he wasn't just accepting his death. If that were true, he would have died a long time ago. As annoyed as he felt, he knew he wasn't completely without fight in him. He would just have to deal with how pathetic that made him. Like being wounded wasn't enough, he had to deal with his own hypocrisy, too. But the fact remained no matter how angry it made him- he did not want to die.

Though the urge to kill her was swelling inside the pit of his empty stomach once more. He glared at her, though did not move to try and strike her, letting her speak without interrupting. Maybe he was just too tired to be as forceful as he had been.

There was very little energy left in his body.

When she finished, he offered her a snort in response, clearly displeased with how she was treating his hardship. As if she understood- she was just some... some NICE lioness. She had lived an entirely different life from him. A much shorter one, too, by the looks of it. He was probably ancient compared to her- a fossil. Maybe that was why he even more bitter about what had happened to him. He hadn't just lost because of his skill. He had lost because of his own body not being good enough anymore. All the more to be bitter about, though she seemed intent on trying to find him a silver lining for all his rain clouds.

Hence the glaring.

"And what things would those be," he grumbled, turning his head so he wasn't looking at her anymore, "what things are better than fighting- I can't think of one." He knew what others liked. Family, friends, a place to call home. But he had never known those things. Never truly. And he wasn't sure he was in the mood to settle for them now that he was an invalid, either.  

[ShinosBee]

His son. His son. His own flesh and blood, the same child he'd helped create, that was who'd done this to him. The idea of what was no less than potential patricide (though she did not know such a word even existed, for who would ever want to do something so terrible?) rocked the little lioness to her core. She went stock still, frozen half way through looking between his wounds and his face, eyes wide and alarmed.

It made sense. If...if it had been his own child who'd done this to him... Oh, she felt as if her heart was crumbling away. It was no wonder he didn't want to hear her talk of nicer things. Of a future or finding something to do but fight. His own son...! She could not imagine a daughter of her own turning on her, not just in aggression but murderous intent. He must be destroyed inside as badly, at least, as he was outside. And here she'd been giving him such trouble. It was no wonder he'd wanted to be alone. She assumed, wrongly, he'd meant to nurse his heartbreak and failed, thus his state of fury and the lack of will to tend his own body. He probably thought her the worst sort of fool. And she was. She'd have to be gentler with him; (incorrect) understanding would let her accept his coarse nature.

Properly shamed, she let her eyes drop from where they'd fixed on his face again. Heat suffused her cheeks beneath her fur as she let the silence hang between them. What should she say? What could she say? Barely a whisper, and probably long after he thought she'd let the subject drop she mumbled, "...I always liked sunsets." Another beat, and she soldiered on, "Any time something bad would happen, when I...well. I would just tell myself I had to make it to see one more. Sunset, I mean." It'd kept her going more than once when she felt sure she would not make it to see said sight. She grimaced and bowed her head lower. "I'm sorry." It was a painfully poor offering, and she knew it. What did a great warrior care about sunsets? She was still reeling from his revelation, and did not resume her grooming of him, lost in her own thoughts for a miserable moment.

If only there was something she could do to give him back some of what he'd lost. His skills, his flesh, his family...She couldn't give any of it back, not really, and felt a sharp jab on his behalf. She'd just have to try, she supposed.

Cajanic

 

[Cajanic]

He didn't like the way she was looking at him when he said it had been Jeraha, his son, who had attacked him. She was looking at him with a face that suggested she felt sorry for him, and that was the last thing he wanted to see from someone as pathetic as she was! Like she had any room to feel bad for him, given the way she lived and how weak she seemed to be. It wouldn't be long before something killed her, too, right? But he supposed she didn't know the whole story. If she knew he had been the one looking to kill his son, because he was ashamed he had created the boy in the first place, would she be so sad to hear about it? Would she still look at him with those unbelieving eyes? He couldn't be sure, but he suspected she would have left a long time ago if he had told her everything about himself.

It was making him wonder why he didn't just explain himself to her. Then she would leave and he would have his peace. Wasn't that what he wanted?

Something seemed to be making him stall.

He had closed his eyes since it seemed she didn't know what to say anymore, letting the opportunity to tune her out take over. If she didn't want to talk, then he wouldn't have to pretend to be listening to her, and perhaps he could consider the whole thing a win, even with the knowledge of her pity seeping into his soul. She could feel bad about what happened to him as long as she shut up for a little while, he supposed.

But it didn't last as long as he would have liked, and the male inhaled sharply as he opened his eyes when she spoke again. His ears flickered in her direction, the male turning his eyes towards her without moving his head too much. With the time dragging on, he was feeling more tired, though he supposed he didn't really need to sleep right away. He arched an eyebrow at her, completely ignoring her apology for the moment.

Her sorry meant nothing to him.

"What bad could possibly have happened in your life," he asked with a grunt, "that you would need to tell yourself such things? To me, you don't seem like the kind of creature who could have suffered- you're too soft. So tell me," he grunted, "tell me what you have been through that you would need to instruct yourself to see one more sunset." He wasn't sure why he was asking. Perhaps to get that expression off her face. She didn't need to be thinking about him.

He didn't want her to.

ShinosBee

 

[ShinosBee]

She did not take his words for the slight he meant them to be. She was a soft creature, one meant for life surrounded by friends and support; a kind, caring pride and friends she'd known since childhood. She'd never been meant to see blood or harm or strife of any kind. That was probably what he assumed her life had been, and very much what she wished it had been.

Of course, the world being what it was, that hadn't exactly happened.

A twist of fate, or blood, or the gods' will perhaps had given her certain gifts in this life, and with them had come equal cost. The thought of such things left a bitter tang in her mouth, but she would not lay those troubles at his paws. He took offense that he had to be helped at all; most likely he'd be even further distressed to think that the one embarrassing him so (though she still did not understand why he would feel such things over being given aid freely and willingly) was hardly of sound body herself. No, she was mum on that, though clearly deep in thought over something for a long breath, even if it was the main reason she sometimes fought not to give up and let herself pass into oblivion.

Instead she turned her thoughts to more earthly matters. Things less hard to explain. "My pride is gone," She began simply. A shrug was joined to the statement, a casual gesture wrapped tightly around and concealing the thrill of panic she still felt at that realization. "I left. Only for a little while. A half moon, we all do it at least once," She explained lamely. She didn't know if other prides did similar things. "When I came back it was...gone. Fire. Fire had burned everything. There were no bodies, but there was no sign where they'd gone either." For a moment she felt as helpless as the first day she'd realized she was completely alone. She fought the terror back with a (rather forced) smile.

"All of my family is dead. That or...they didn't wait for me." Didn't look for her or leave any sign. For perhaps the hundredth time she told herself it was because they'd had to flee in haste, there'd been no time, they'd not meant to abandon her. "But if I lay down and die then I'll never find out. So I keep looking." Another shrug bled the strain from her. It still wasn't as bad as what he'd been through, after all, and at least she was hale and had a hopefully healthy family to return to. "It hasn't been so bad, lately." She was doing alright.

"Some good things have happened since then too.

cajanic

 

[Cajanic]

Angusho must have asked a difficult question- it seemed to take her quite some time to answer him. He waited, though, without closing his eyes again, If he fell to sleep before he got an answer, he would be very annoyed. He hadn’t been waiting this whole while just to let her off the hook because he nodded off. There would be little chance to ask her again, as it would show he had interest in her private life. Clearly that wasn’t the case. He was just asking because it annoyed him that she thought she could compare herself to him. That she would have to tell herself not to die because of some hardships in her life. That was so cowardly, regardless of what she had been through. He was annoyed. And he wanted to yell at her about it, too.

When she finally started to speak, he listened, his hard, emotionless expression remaining as she told him that her pride was gone. He arched an eyebrow. She had lost her pride in a fire? He supposed that would have been disheartening, if one were weak enough to allow themselves to be part of a pride in the first place. Angusho was not so weak. He would never let himself become so connected to other lions. It was pathetic. But it sounded like she had loved them dearly, and losing them had been difficult for her. It sounded like they hadn’t all been killed, at least. Still. Not knowing where they had gone, feeling like they had abandoned her.

It was the kind of thing that could cause some hate to form in the heart.

“I don’t think they died,” Angusho grunted, “there’s a sense you get when your family has passed. If you don’t feel it inside of you, then they are not got. It was what kept me looking for my son for so long. I knew he hadn’t died yet, so there was still the opportunity to kill him myself. You family is likely safe. They may even be feeling the same as you. You have not seen any sign of them, though they must have moved to a new home. Perhaps they have been hunting as fruitlessly. Perhaps they have not seen any trace of you, either. This land is large and unforgiving. It may be that you never see them again, despite that you all may be searching for one another.” He didn’t care for comforting people, only stating what he felt.

He closed his eyes, grunting when she said some good things had happened. “Well, isn’t that nice for you,” he almost hissed, “now, I think I need some rest. My body is aching and I’ve had enough of these sob stories. If we are both pathetic, fine, but let it be spoken of no more tonight.”

ShinosBee

Maybe we could do another with him feeling a little stronger =3