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Nergui had woken on the soft pile of furs that made up the guardian's floor. She'd woken up alone, momentarily puzzled as to why, until her eyes fell on the chess board and everything came rushing back like a blow to the chest, sharp and lethal. It was with trembling fingers she opened to door and slipped out, hurrying away.

If Soren had ever made it back to his hut that evening he'd find it empty. Nergui was gone. She'd left the chess board, any other personal effects she might of had there, and left. She felt hollow, numb, lost in a way she had not felt since the isles had fallen and they'd been forced to seek refuge in a foreign land. Now she walked blindly through the reserve on bare feet without a trace of the usual grace she carried herself with. She was a broken thing, and even the glow of her eye seemed dimmed. She felt cold and empty, barren, desolate, and all the while the voices murmured harshly. Berating and belittling. They tore at every raw insecurity.

By the time the mare had made it back to her own home she was in tears again, though this time they were silent. If one didn't catch the shine on her cheeks they wouldn't even have known.

In her fragile emotional state the priestess had forgotten that her cousin was staying her home. A silly thing to forget, but she was surprised when she slipped inside to find him sitting at her low table. It made her freeze just beyond the door, red rimmed eyes widening before she hastily turned away to hide the tear tracks from him. It was too soon, she didn't want to talk to anyone, didn't want to see anyone, least of all Bastion. He who never bothered to hide his disapproval of the guardian.

Nergui didn't think she could take any I told you so's.

He scrambled to his feet, and Nergui had to fight the sudden panic driven urge to run back out the door. The best she could do was freeze in place, and when his arms looped around her in what would have normally been a welcome hug, she stiffened, remaining tense in his arms until he drew back enough to look at her face and the drying tear tracks. She looked up at him with wide, red-rimmed eyes. Startled, maybe even a little vacant.

"I'm alright," she lied, then regretted it instantly, because she didn't lie to Bastion. Not him. Never him. "I mean.." She was in shock, visibly. Shaky and unfocused. She blinked up into her cousin's worried eyes, and once again she broke down.

Because here was someone that loved her, had always loved her. Even when she had been cold and distant.

Her chest hurt, it ached, it felt like her chest was crumbling into tiny jagged pieces. It was a foreign pain, like nothing she had ever felt before, not even when her sister's love had turned to hate. Not even from the fall of the isles.

She stood there, and she cried, and she clung to Bastion's arms where they wrapped around her, and she din't want to tell him why, because she didn't want it to be real. If she didn't talk about it, it wasn't really. It hadn't happened. If she just pretended hard enough, she could make it not true.

He wiped the tears from her face, and she didn't resist when he led her to the table and sat her down on one of the cushions before taking a seat himself and reaching for her hands. Her's were a touch cool, but when he squeezed she returned the pressure. Those pleading eyes hurt to see, but it was lost in the sea of every other pain.

She still didn't want to answer, admitting it made it real, but she knew Bastion. He was as stubborn as she was, and he would get the answers one way or another. Drawing a deep breath, she let it out slowly, shaking, and lowered her gaze to the table so she wouldn't have to see the look on his face. "I asked Soren to be my bond guardian."

The lump in her throat rose again, and she had to swallow it back before she could continue. "We were playing chess, and I asked him." that soft voice was thick with emotion, and she'd have wiped away the new fall of tears had she not been holding onto Bastion's hands as if they were a lifeline now. "And he just walked out." Features crumbled. "I ruined it. I ruined everything."

She lifted her head to peg her cousin with an empty look, golden glow shining through a fall of silver finge that she hadn't bothered to brush to the side. "What does it matter if he didn't verbalize it? He left." There was a warmth to her voice, the first stirrings of anger, or frustration. "The result is the same." If it had been anyone else asking these questions she'd have pulled her hands away, turned away from them, but this was Bastion, her other half, closer than a brother. She didn't pull away, but her grip on his hands loosened until it was only him that held on.

She wanted to be angry, to pull that old cold arrogance around herself like a shield, but the hot flare of her temper barely smoldered before cooling into ash. She felt as if she were drowning and there was no escape.

"He knew what it meant to leave me kneeling there with out a word of comfort." Even to her it sounded sullen, but she didn't care. She had let him in, she had bore her heart on her sleeve and lay herself bare and vulnerable--for the first time--and her had turned away from her.

Left you. Alone. Alone.

She closed her eyes, features pinching in irritation on top of the sorrow she wore like a veil.

Veil..

"Where is my Veil, Bastion?"

As Bastion fell quiet, so too did the priestess. Quiet was easy, there were no expectations, no demands, no questions. Her mind was a buzz of ugliness, insecurities and frustrations, but just below was the familiar static of the voices that never quite ceased. A constant background noise that she had grown used to over time.

A feat she might not have managed had Soren not been by her side..

He calmed the clamor of murmurs, quieted her mind, and in his presences, for the first time since the isles had fallen, she had been at peace.

Now? Now that background static was growing louder. Those old paranoid insecurities were growing stronger. She had not hidden her blight behind the sheer lace of the veil in months now, but she did now as Bastion handed it to her. She draped it over her head, pulled it so it hung over the right side of her face, over that glow, but not hiding it, not really.

It never really had, but she did carry the Insanity.

She looked up at Bastion as he listed the reasons the stallion had walked away from her, trying to reassure her. She listened to him, and it was love for her cousin that kept her in that seat, let him talk nonsensical scenarios. Hearing that Soren was a fool did not reverse the damage that had been done. "I hope you're right," she muttered softly, though did not have much faith in it being true.

No, these were not Soren's strong arms, but these were familiar. Arms she had felt a thousand time over. Her cousin, her shadow, the one thing in life she could always count on. He loved her, and he would always love her. Until the oceans swallowed the sun, he would love her. This time she melted into his tight hold, leaning into him as she turned enough to press her face into the warmth of his neck. Hiding from the world.

His soft voice helped to lay a wash of calm over her. Temporary, perhaps, but she appreciated it, and him. Anything to chase back that awful emptiness. Everyone feared pain, and rightly so, but that at least let you know you were alive. Numbness, that was the real hell.

Clinging, she turned her head enough so she could speak without her voice muffling against his skin. "I would have let you," she reassured him in turn, one small hand moving to slide through dark hair at the back of his head. "And you would have been perfect. My perfect shadow, always. My dark knight." This wasn't his fault. Hearing him apologize for a pain he didn't cause brought a whole other ache to her heart that had little to do with Soren's apparent rejection, and everything to do with her beloved cousin's perceived inadequacies, and how very much she loved him.

"I can always depend on you, Bastion. Always." She lay a kiss on his throat, continuing to pet his hair. Giving comfort as she received it. How thankful she was that he'd survived the fall of the islands. Of all her family, he would have been mourned the longest.