Painted Moose:Even with the sun barely beginning it's descent Scheherazade was stuck in an eternal night. There was rarely a day that she left her tree, or her perch in general, without a lot of coaxing from outside parties. Normally during these hours she would have been fast asleep in preparation for the nights work, but the ailing leopardess was awake with her thoughts.
That horrid attack never left her. The entire ordeal haunted her from Ua being found with her injuries to the Council meeting. She lay prone with her head on her paws pondering over it all. Perhaps she was never meant to lead; life in the U'W had suggested as much. If she had then...then it wouldn't have ended up like this.
Her lazy tail hung off the high, thin branch and dangled above the ground. She was weak from mal-nourishment, but refused to see a sturdier, thicker branch closer to the ground. At least from her branch Sche could see the stars, which seemed to be the only thing giving her comfort these days.
Velveteen Angel:
Ai was cautious as he approached the location where his mother was usually found. She didn't seem to stray far from her tree branches, but that was worrying too. He knew exactly where to find her, but he hadn't been to find her in weeks. He felt like a terrible son. And it was all thanks to Xiu, drawing it to his attention just how inattentive he had actually been. He felt horrible. He clutched the herbs in his mouth as he climbed the tree, taking purchase on a thicker branch below his mother's brother.
He gently placed the herbs at his paws, glancing up at her with his one good eye. "Hi Mama," he said, his voice gentle. He wasn't sure if she could or would hear him, but his tone was soft. He loved his mother. She was a hero in his eyes, as was his father, but he knew she didn't see love when she looked at him. She was stuck in another memory when she saw him.
Painted Moose:
It took Scheherazade longer than it should have to notice Ai's presence. She blinked her opaque eyes a few times before looking down to her son. Instantly her heart seized, causing the impassive leopardess to develop a pained look. "My poor baby..." Scheherazade reached down to him, then thought better of it at the last second. She was the reason he was injured, so what right did she have to touch him?
"You should see Ua..." Scheherazade murmured, "before it bleeds too much...infects..." She placed her back back underneath her head and lolled her eyes skyward. The memories haunted her even with her son so close. It was as if time hadn't passed a single moment since then for the leopardess.
Velveteen Angel:
Ai felt his heart sink at the pained look on his face, and the reluctance she had to touch him. Was he that repulsive? He wondered. He knew he was unlikely to find a female who would love him, because of his wounds, but he had thought, perhaps, his own mother would love him. "I've seen Ua," he assured her gently, collecting the herbs and moving a bit closer. "I've also seen the newest medic, Xiu? She sent me these herbs to give to you. She said you have to eat them all," he urged gently, placing the herbs within her grasp and retreating back.
She looked so unhappy to be near him, he didn't want his mother unhappy. He wanted to see her smile again...but he feared that happy Scheherazade was long gone now.
Painted Moose:
The name brought a confused furrow to her brow. Scheherazade struggled to place the medic he spoke of with one of the myriad of faces she had seen in the passing months. Was that...was that the name of one of Arcus' cubs? Had they grown?
She looked despondently down at the herbs he had placed within her reach. All of her reactions were delayed, though this one seemed to stretch. Finally she responded with, "Later. I'm full now." Scheherazade could barely meet his gaze. What had she done to her baby? Her sweet son? She was having trouble placing the scarred male with the bloodied adolescent she had last seen. In her eyes he was still so young..."You...should go before you fall."
Velveteen Angel:
Ai watched her, her reactions slow and almost sloth-like. She had no energy, that much was clear. He had felt guilty before, now he was just worried. He wanted to fix her, but he knew that he couldn't. He knew he could run, but he was tired of running away. "I am under strict orders that you have to eat it all, Mama," he insisted gently. "You don't want me to get in trouble, do you?" He knew she still cared for them, even if she was so wrapped up in her own world that it was hard for her to see them at the moment.
"It's ok Mama, I was raised in these trees, remember? I won't fall," he promised her. "Let me stay a while."
Painted Moose: Scheherazade passed her boy a soft, little smile. "No, never that baby." She pawed the herbs closer, and looked at them with an exhausted sigh. If it weren't for her son she wouldn't have given them a second glance. Now she was picking up individual sprigs to chew on. The taste should have been bitter, but it sat like bland paste on her tongue.
"If you want to stay, I won't make you leave." Sche moved on of the sprigs around her claws, idly avoiding eating it. She had barely touched the grouping. She forced herself to eat the herb instead of play with it. "You're a good boy, Ai..." Scheherazade felt her eyes water and she turned her head away from him. "I just...If I was better then I could have protected you...I'm glad you take more after your father than you do me."
Velveteen Angel: He was worried when she began to play with the herbs instead of eating it. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do if she wasn't eating it. He couldn't force her, but Xiu had told him that the herbs would help her, and he wanted to help her. Even if that meant listening to what Xiu had told him.
"You always look after me, Mama," he assured her, feeling his heart breaking in his chest. He wanted to curl up into a ball, next to her, soak up her warmth but he felt like she would be cold to touch now. She seemed frozen...or maybe the correct word was 'broken'. "It wasn't your fault. It wasn't Dad's either..." he tried to excuse, "it was mine. I made a mistake." He didn't want anyone to blame themselves for what had happened. He had been the idiot who had rushed into the battle as an adolescent. Some of his siblings had been wise enough to stay out of it. But he hadn't. Nor had Chiyo, and now even Chiyo was missing. His family was broken. How did you even fix a broken family?
Painted Moose:
"Not when it mattered most." Had Scheherazade possessed the energy to do so she would have risen, but when she tried she found herself laying back down against the branch. At the very least she turned her attention back to her son. What tears that managed to leak out were gone now. What tears did she have to shed that hadn't already fallen? "You were trying to protect your colony. Your father..." She squeaked out, and steadied herself. "Your father and I shouldn't have let you. Deker was right."
Passively she picked at the herbs and moved another one up to her lips to eat. "Your sister...is she well? Can she walk?"
Velveteen Angel: "I was being stupid," Ai tried to explain. "I thought I was being a hero. I wanted to make you and Dad proud but all I did was let you both down. I let the colony down. I know that now." It had taken him so long to come to grips with that. It had broken him to think that he had ruined his family, but he didn't know what else to do but keep going. "Even if you and Dad had put your paws down and stopped me, I would have done it anyway. I would have found a way, Mama. I was an idiot."
He hesitated. "She can walk." He didn't say anything more, because he didn't know. He knew that she had been mobile when she left, but the extent of her injuries weren't known to him. Was her leg bad? He didn't know. He was realising now that was so much he didn't know.
Painted Moose:This time Scheherazade did reach down to touch her son. She moved so that she could touch his cheek with her paw, just under his missing eye. "You're my hero. I can't remember a day where you didn't make me proud, Ai." All of the herbs were finished now, thanks to the love she bore for her son. "Don't...don't blame yourself for it, baby. It was never you."
That hurt her more than anything else. After all she had done, all they had done, her sweet thing blamed himself. What kind of mother was she? "That's good. I haven't seen her in so long...I can only imagine that she hates me." It was obvious from her tone that Scheherazade didn't know that Chiyo was gone. Even if she had been around Sche likely wouldn't have seen her.
Velveteen Angel:
Ai felt tears welling up in his good eye. He didn't cry around anyone, but his mother was different. She was the one who had brought him into the world, loved him when no one else would or could. He lent into her paw, allowing himself to relish in the affection from his mother, as tears slipped from his good eye. "Don't you dare blame yourself for this either Mama," he whispered. "Don't you dare. You and Dad did everything right. We were the ones who messed it all up. I love you, Mama, and so does Chiyo, and Sacnite, and Orna, and Cebisile and Sade and Sayuri. We all love you." He fell silent, unable to say anything else as tears slipped down his cheek.
Painted Moose:
Scheherazade held onto her son while he cried. Her heart was absolutely torn in two watching him, and yet she wouldn't turn away; not from him. Slowly before her eyes he had moved from a cub to an injured adolescent and now he was a scarred adult. "You've gotten so big," she commented idly, wondering where the time had gone. It was only a passing thought, not enough to invoke a strong pull in her.
She waited a good long while before speaking, "How can I not blame myself when I've done so much wrong? Two of my cubs marked for life, five that can't even live with their mother in a colony that let them go..." With every name that came from his lips she was reminded of her leotah offspring. Polyhmnia, Blyds, Gulzar, Tryphena, Zarine...What were they all doing now? Were they fed, happy? "You should go now, Ai. Your mother...needs to think."
Velveteen Angel: Ai didn't want to leave her, but he knew that he had probably pushed his luck being here this long. He didn't want to make her sad, or worse. He rose to his paws. "I'll let you be," he said softly, and moved closer to gently nuzzle her cheek. "I love you Mama, you're my hero," he whispered to her, before he began his slow decent to the ground once again. He felt so weak and tired, he was afraid of travelling via the trees lest he fall. As his paws hit the ground, with each step away from his mother, he felt his energy draining away. He was tired.