(PRP) About last night... (Shiloh & Melany)

[shibrogane]

"There's always a little bit further to fall," said Melany. "I've got that bitterant still. Or... it's at my apartment, anyway. If you want."

She smiled at Shiloh, but then frowned, troubled. "The girl that's following me doesn't talk, either," she said. "She gives me notes. I mean, not recently, because I've been hiding and I guess she doesn't like crowded places..."

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

Shiloh looked equally troubled. "But she..." He frowned at his lap. "Do you still have the notes, or did you throw them out?"

He seemed... mad, actually, like he was holding something back.

shibrogane

 

[shibrogane]

"I don't really carry them around," said Melany. At his anger, she shrunk inwards, gray eyes widening. "I'm worried if I go back to my apartment, she'll be there? But I can give you my key, if you want to go."

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

Shiloh eased up, "Sorry, sorry. I'm not mad at you I'm just..." he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. Maybe Noeh was just trying to genuinely look out for his well being, but he still didn't like it, especially with what he'd been told from Silk. He knew Mercer was going to talk to her, but... Maybe he ought to confront her too. Maybe not. He was tired.

"I just don't get it." He said finally, "I didn't mean to scare you though. You know I'm not mad at you, right?" He seemed pretty adamant about this fact, his steely blue eyes full of concern. "I know this bullshit is hard on you too... I don't wanna snoop through your stuff though." He wiggled his fingers in thought, "I just wanted to compare the handwriting so I'd know for sure." Between this and Eve and the Spinel Lady though... "One thing at a time I guess."

His eyes came to rest on her textbook, motions slowing to an idle.

shibrogane

 

[shibrogane]

"It's okay," said Melany. She seemed, well, plenty reassured: she smiled, even. "I'm kind of waiting for you to decide I am no good," she admitted. "I hurt you and I hurt Eve and... I don't know. It feels like I'm making this huge mess without even meaning to."

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

"I have a really bad habit with the whole "headstrong moron" motif I got goin' on." He laughed despite the heaviness of the topic. "Jamie hurt me too once, remember? But he didn't mean it, and he blames himself even though he's quiet about it lots." Shiloh sat up a little straighter, "I hurt Jamie too, back when I disappeared and replaced and all, even though that wasn't me and I still regret everything even though I had no say. The thing is Melany, this has been a huge mess before you even came into play with it." And he laughed again, sounding a little light, but a little serious too.

"What I'm saying is, it's not... it's not you, just like it wasn't me and it wasn't Jamie. It's... hypocritical I guess, but I think it's important to forgive yourself." He chewed his lip, "Instead of being consumed with the guilt, just... take it and try to be constructive about it. That's what I'm trying to do, 'cause a lot of days I just wanna wallow and do nothin' and ******** waste away till I die or something, but..." He shrugged. "I kinda realized too that like, giving up is so much worst. It hurts people a lot more. Like, if I just gave up then Jamie would be heartbroken, and Oliver would be sad, and it keeps me from doin' stupid s**t. I'd be really sad if you did that too." Shiloh looked over.

"And I get that like, even saying that, it's kinda meaningless 'cause what the ******** are we supposed to do, right? No one writes instruction manuals for this s**t. I sure as ******** don't know what I'm doing and that's half of the problem." He started drawing invisible shapes on the table with his free hand, "But I can't sit around and do nothin' either. I'm trying really ******** hard to find a way to help you, y'know? You deserve to have a normal life, and be happy, and dance up on a big a** stage and do you fancy devil math and s**t. And I meant it when I said I still wanted to be your friend." Something in his eyes looked... sad, "One time when I was younger and going through a lot of tough s**t, I did something really stupid, and Oliver caught me, and he said 'Shiloh, I wanna keep helping you, but I can't if you refuse to help yourself'. Stupid idiot was like sixteen and already spouting quasi-poetic s**t. But he was kinda right."

He sighed. "All I'm sayin' is, don't give up okay? I'm not going to give up on you, so you shouldn't either."

shibrogane

 

[shibrogane]

"Okay," she said, which was maybe the best response to a big personal declaration in a public library. Melany squeezed Shiloh's fingers very gently, her hands soft on his calluses, her grey eyes big and dewy and hiding absolutely jack s**t and ******** all. It was the kind of expression that gave people secondhand embarrassment. Didn't she have any shame? Anything to hide?

It didn't seem that way.

She nodded. "I'm not gonna give up," she said. "I won't. I have friends, you know? You and Horace and Temperance, and even Ezra must care about me a little still..." Melany seemed to be cheered up even by this small list.

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

Shiloh took a deep breath after his spiel. Finally he exhaled it into a sheepish laugh, "Sorry. I didn't mean to get on my high horse." It was just a topic he was passionate about. "Ollie gives me talks like that a lot. They help me even though they piss me off. Sometimes you just gotta hear it from someone else's perspective, y'know?"

He leaned over to give her something of a shoulder bump. "And you're only gonna make more friends, I'm sure of it." He didn't say anything about Temperance, even though the name made his stomach feel like a lead weight. Sometimes the truth took precedence over happiness, but Melany was torn to shreds and so was he and ******** it; they needed this moment of respite. Both of them.

"I'm not gonna give up on you either though, 'kay?" His eyes were blue and wide and like Melany's they had little to hide. Shiloh didn't speak with this sort of conviction very often, but he was undeniably earnest in this moment. "And I'll be sure to share the stuff I find out with you too, even if we gotta be sneaky. I believe this is all gonna work out."
He huffed, "I gotta."

shibrogane

 

[shibrogane]

"I like your high horse," said Melany comfortingly. "You can get on it whenever you like." She smiled at him, still big-eyed and happy to be there. Too simple. Too sweet. It was easy to see how one awful act could shatter all of that to little pieces, how the person who came out the other side could be so broken and awful. "Thanks, Shiloh," she said. "I think it'll work out, too."

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

"Good." He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, "You can get on it with me. We can ride it together." And then he snorted because sometimes, only sometimes, was he aware of the stupid s**t that he said. Either way, it made him laugh. Something about how vulnerable and innocent she looked made him so sad, made him wonder how anyone could be such a goddamn monster. One for many. As ******** if.

"It's like, I wanna try a bunch of stuff out, but I'm worried it'll hurt you more." He said, returning to the earlier topics; locking the Spinel Lady away, trying to unlock Eve's powers, so on and so forth. "I mean, my ability to lock things isn't... I dunno what it'd do for a person. Watch." He leaned over to grab her textbook, and then when he was sure no one was watching he traced an invisible shape over the top of it. The line emitted a soft light in the shape of a keyhole, and then it ebbed away again.

"Try it out." He offered as he nudged the book over.

"But besides that, I think locking her away wouldn't be a good short-term solution."

shibrogane

 

[shibrogane]

Melany tried to open her textbook. She frowned, and tried again, pulling fruitlessly at the cover. After a moment, she slanted a glance at Shiloh, put one of her cold hands over his, and tried again.

Even with Shiloh's powers suppressed by Melany's touch, she couldn't get the book to open.

"Wow," she said softly. "That's amazing, Shiloh. If you wanted to try that on me... I wouldn't mind."

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

"Neat, huh?" He grinned as he watched her struggle with it. After a moment he reached over and opened it up effortlessly. "It breaks if I open it up, though, and then I gotta reapply it." His lips pursed, "But, like I said, I dunno what it'd do to a person." He looked over at Melany.

"So if anything starts to feel weird, or bad, or off, you better tell me immediately so I can take it back off." He looked serious, "'Cause my powers aren't perfect. I'm kind of like a living key, but I couldn't bring Eve's powers back, so I feel like... I'm not as strong as I could be, y'know?" What he meant to say, was that he wasn't sure how much he could counter-act the Spinel Lady, but he didn't want Melany to think about it.

Wiggling one of his fingers, he waited for his powers to ebb back into the forefront.

"I'll draw it on your hand? Or it might be better to do it over the mark, I dunno."

shibrogane

 

[shibrogane]

"Maybe we shouldn't do this here," said Melany, looking around the room. "Do you want to set something up for a later time? That way we can make sure we're really safe before we try it. I don't want to hurt you or anything."

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

"O-Oh, right, duh." He looked a little sheepish, "That works, if you're really serious about it. You know how to reach me, so..." He nudged her, "Give me a call whenever?"

shibrogane

 

[shibrogane]

"Yeah," said Melany, smiling. "Uh... Do you want to sit with me for a little while? We don't have to talk if you don't want to..."

Melancholies

and we can wrap on these two cuties?