[PRP] Countdown (Shiloh & Jamie)

[Melancholies]

It was only right outside of the conference room, but Shiloh felt immediately more relaxed. Maybe Silk would be mad at him for leaving, or maybe Beel would quip at him for being weak, or maybe some of the other Nobles would have something to say, but for a blissful moment, Shiloh didn't care. It was quiet out here, and out here meant he could think in peace and privacy.

Well, relative privacy. Jamie was sort of an integrated part of his head now, and he didn't mind it but... it did mean he had to be careful of what he thought about. On the plus side of things, airing their own dirty laundry and making their secrets well known to each other was sort of nice, if only because Jamie was still here and Shiloh was still here and they obviously didn't hate one another.

They respected each other. It was nice.

But the matter of the charter made him sigh. At first he wanted it burned like Lady had said, and then he wanted it preserved for the sake of access, and now he was leaning towards shredding it again. What would get them closer to breaking the cage? Surely the latter right? And that was all that mattered in the end, wasn't it? Because no amount of tweaking the existing charter could help on that front. It'd all be moot anyway...

He looked down at the leather folio with renewed interest—or perhaps disdain. The answer should be simple right? Free Melany, rip the charter in half.

saedusk

 

[saedusk]

It was true, Shiloh would never be truly alone with his thoughts unless they relinquished their hold on one another. Even so, Jamie tried to give him privacy, to hold back from prying when it just wasn't the right time. For everything they shared, for as deeply as he appreciated their newer, deeper honesty, he'd never ask Shiloh to open up if he wasn't ready.

Now, though, their time was limited. The thoughts that were already careening around their shared headspace had to come to light sooner than later. They both had doubts, different ones for different reasons. They had to settle on something.

Shiloh would know Jamie was approaching even before the hand found his shoulder. "Hey," he greeted simply, already knowing the answer to you okay. There was no point in asking.

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

Shiloh did in fact feel Jamie approaching, but he didn't look up at his greeting, not immediately. He continued to watch the folio, continued to think, could feel Jamie there in his head but not in his head, God ******** bless this guy for how much he cared. What the hell did I do to deserve someone like you? The thought slipped through the filter before he could catch it.

In a rare moment of bashfulness, Shiloh blushed, laughed. "Sorry..." He shook his head and finally looked up, the exhaustion evident in his face. "I just needed some fresh air. I'll... I'll go back in after a second."

Had this happened a year ago—a few months ago—Shiloh would be punching holes in the wall. Instead his fist was flexing open and closed, taut, but controlled. "I dunno what to do." He said lamely. "I mean, I do, I don't even know why I'm doubting myself." Sigh, "If destroying the charter means saving Melany, then we should do it, right?"

He hadn't even told Jamie about his escapades in trying to lock the Spinel Lady away. He wasn't sure he wanted to just yet. Later, for sure...

"We'll have a lot more freedom if we do that, I guess, but we don't have a lot of time either." He was chewing his lip, "I don't want someone to abuse their power, but—Ugh, I can't believe everyone knows the geas now..."

Shiloh scratched the back of his head.

saedusk

 

[saedusk]

I could ask you the same thing... was Jamie's response, equally bashful but warm, a nice, momentary lapse in the anxiety. It came and went, though, and the doubt crept back. Shiloh was trying his best, though, and so would Jamie. Carefully capturing one of his hands, hardly caring whether it was actually free or not, he squeezed and listened.

"I was kinda surprised how casually the geas came out," he admitted, "Really surprised, actually. I guess what good is a fail safe if no one knows it, but..." That wasn't the way he wanted everyone to learn. In fact, there were some people he wished hadn't learned at all. Assuming they hadn't already known.

"I'm not sure what's best, either. How are we supposed to know?" It felt like they never knew quite enough. "I wonder if this is what the other me felt..." he mumbled, but shook his head.

"I do know for sure I... I want to help Melany, at least."

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

Shiloh nodded diligently. "It's true." He sighed, "But it was presented like... like a way for Nobles to police each other, rather than other people policing us. Nobles can't hurt other Nobles, all that sort of bullshit." From what he understood, anyway. "Like, you could break my spine in half if you wanted and I couldn't do s**t about it. But I guess the moonwalkers were supposed to be the Otherworld CIA or whatever..." Shiloh sighed.

"The board said..." He squinted in recollection, "That tearing the charter down might result in the spirit bond reforming. Silk said they were strong enough to threaten the cage..." His hand was claimed, but Shiloh didn't seem to mind, "If—I mean, I want the cage broken. I don't wanna live on forever as a Noble or as a principal..." He sighed.

"It's just, the beginning of the meeting made it sound like we shouldn't tear the charter apart. But we should, right? "And there's that purge thing too. No one knows for certain, but I kind of..." He had mental hands twisting around in his mind, "I kind of have this suspicion that it's Noeh, maybe. I don't know enough about Pride or Pax to make any calls, but if Noeh was the one that wanted Micheal dead..." He swallowed, "Had him killed I mean."

And all the times he'd spoken so highly of her. Jamie would know.

"I need to confront her." He said quietly, "She's been stalking Melany too, apparently." And then he looked to Jamie, "Her real name pulled up on the charter when Jeremiah sent the fingerprints in for scans. Pax and Pride's too. Apparently they existed in this world, even though they've all be declared missing or dead." He looked at his shoes, "I guess it's kinda like the original principals and how they were reported missing... maybe they were brought to the forefront since Heliodora and all of them don't exist here."

He rubbed his temple.

"Anyway. Even if we don't wreck the charter, isn't like... if we break the cage, I guess it's not like we know what'll happen, but everything'll probably go back to the way it was, right? So like, there's almost no point in limiting s**t if everything is gonna return to normal..."

saedusk

 

[saedusk]

"You think it was.... Noeh?" That fact made Jamie's heart hurt, not because he knew her personally, but because he knew the comfort she'd brought Shiloh during those awful, awful months under the Spinel Lady's heel. If he was saying this now, Jamie knew there had to be some truth to it. It had to be more than a coincidence.

"After the conference, no matter what happens, maybe you should talk to her. I can go with you if you want." He had questions, too. Ones about the charter and his past life that maybe she'd have insight into.

What was more pressing now, though, was the meeting at hand. "If we're going to do this..." he said, slowly, contemplatively, "I think we need to do it all the way. This... this might be our chance to- to make things work for us now. We don't know what's gonna happen in a month or two or three or whatever. I want the cage broken, too, I want us to get out of this cycle."

I wanna grow old with you...

"For us a-and for Melany and for the people who are important to us and stuff... I dunno, I kinda think destroying it and starting over and trying to make something better is the better choice."

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

"I-I mean—" He stammered, "It's just a thought..." Shiloh sighed, "She's... I think she's been lying to me too. She said she didn't mean for the sigil to get put on Melany, but... but Silk says Noeh was there when they carved the sigil into her. How does that make sense?" He sighed, "And the stalking thing is gross."

He sighed.

"But I feel you. We might not get another opportunity like this..." He looked down at the folio in his hands. He went to speak again, but Jamie's thought hit his head instead, and his reaction was priceless; wide eyes, mouth gaped open slightly, innocent.

Me too. I think. And then he laughed, the sound sheepish, his cheeks pink tinged, I mean, might as well, you're pretty great and all.

"I just feel... weird." He admitted, "I just said I'd protect the charter with my life, and now I'm gonna be all 'yeah let's wreck the ******** out of it'." He was still smiling though, still warm from all the affection he was feeling from Jamie, "Maybe I'll vote anonymously. I wish you were sitting next to me in there..."

saedusk

 

[saedusk]

Another moment of softness, a second without worry. It warmed Jamie's chest to hear Shiloh's response and he set his head gently against his shoulder. Then reality was back, uncomfortable, but he felt like maybe he had a slightly better handle on it than he'd had before.

"I wish we were together, too. I don't like the separate tables. I get it's a tradition thing or whatever, but I think we should all be together. Equal. I'll alway be up here, though," he said as he oh so softly rapped Shiloh's head with his fingertips. His hand settled there for a moment, playing in his hair. It's starting to curl again.


"I don't think it was a lie, not really. You're protecting it now until we need it, but... in the end I think we're gonna try and protect what really needs to be protected, even if we have to start over." He laughed. "Does that even make any sense?

"No carving any sigils into anyone's back this time..."

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

It was starting to curl again, Shiloh realized. His hair had weird phases, where it was relatively straight when it was short and straight when it was longer and then, for some weird as reason, it curled just after a certain point. I guess it was really long when we first met, huh?

He didn't think about it much these days, but it was kinda weird. He'd known Jamie for a month before Court happened. The long hair hadn't stayed there that long, unless Beel kept it long during his time as a replacement. That was a lot of long in one sentence. Either way, he was leaning into Jamie's hand, and then in a moment of weakness he turned to nuzzle into Jamie's hair. He was just bitching about it feeling like high school, but then here he was canoodling in the hallway with his boyfriend.

He didn't get much more affectionate than that, though. If anything it was more like a half hug; more body than arms, since everyone's arms and hands were occupied.

"No carving sigils into anyone anymore period." He huffed. "People aren't meant to withstand that sort of weight. Oh—did you bring the schema? It might be good to absorb whatever's going on right now. Or might go on. Or like, if we do destroy the charter." He looked down at it again.

"But yeah, that made sense." He debated it for a second, but then belatedly placed a chaste kiss to Jamie's temple, "You always make sense though, even when you think you don't." It make sense up here, I mean. Things might not make sense in words alone, but they had the beauty of their mind drift, and that sort of meant communicating through concepts and feelings and all the inexplicable things that created barriers for normal people.

saedusk

 

[saedusk]

The affection was more than welcome and Jamie reveled in it. No one was going to stop him from canoodling in the hallway with his boyfriend. They both needed the breather.

"I can agree with that." No carving sigils into anyone anymore. Period. That point didn't even have to be argued. Jamie could only hope that line of thought was the same for everyone else, too. If not, well, they wouldn't have his respect if they had it in the first place. He had to stop himself from wondering all over again if his past self had known what would happen to Melany when he agreed to the charter. That line of thought was not something he needed to keep revisiting right now.

"I'm glad you think so..." he said, a faint blush creeping over his cheeks despite how innocent the small kiss had been. "I've been trying not to doubt myself as much. I brought the schema, so I hope I can get some good information for it. Though I am kind of nervous about bringing it out in front of everyone."

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

"I'll back you up." Shiloh said almost immediately. "You know I will. Plus, no one can use offensive magic in there if they try to take it from you." He looked down, "And I mean, everyone already saw you with it in the void. I doubt they'd even know what you were doing. And frankly? ******** 'em, they don't need to know."

He blinked.

"I mean, unless you want them too." He kissed his head again, "I trust your judgement." Having more people in on the project might be useful actually... but we can talk about that later. He added that mentally, just in case. Thank god for the mind link. "I think you're doing really good though. I'm glad you've been speaking up."

Another moment passed. "So... we're both on the same page then, right?" <******** wreck it? "I guess we should get back in there..." It was obvious that he was reluctant, though.

saedusk

 

[saedusk]

"Yeah, you're right. I guess sometimes I forget everyone already saw me with it. Then again, I don't really know how many of them were paying attention at the time." It had been a wild ride that void adventure. It had been their sloppy attempt at remaking the world, but they'd done their best. "Thanks, Shiloh."

Eventually I think I we'll need more people. More people with knowledge of sigils, at least. But he left it at that, silently agreeing to talk about it later. It was legitimately another thing they needed to work towards at some point.

We're on the same page, he thought next, Wreck it. We're starting over. "And you're not wrong, but one more minute won't hurt..." Now he returned Shiloh's affection with a small, soft kiss to the cheek.

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

He nodded, "They probably weren't paying a lot of attention though, you're right..." That entire trip into the void still felt like a dream half of the time. He paused when Jamie leaned up to kiss his cheek, and then said "What lipgloss is that? It smells like cherries."

Leave it to Shiloh to be off track ninety percent of the time. He laughed again and settled against the wall, his guard finally dropping after what seemed like an eternity. It was a mode only Jamie seemed capable of pulling from him these days, and Shiloh relished in the opportunities. I really love you, y'know? He was pretty sure Jamie knew, but he felt the need to tell him anyway.

"Maybe we can like, try sitting back to back? That way we're still at the tables, but you'd have to go on the other side." Shiloh sniffed, "I'd say ******** it, but I don't wanna piss Silk off. I'm really glad she organized this actually..." Another moment, "I'm glad She didn't crash the party either like last time. I mean, I know how to talk with her, it isn't hard to be repectful. Like yeah she's terrible, but I dunno why everyone jumps at the throat to be a b***h towards someone that can kill them with a thought. Or take their magic away. Or whatever."

Jamie would get an image of the meeting, weird and hazy and overlayed in the present world, the Nobles and their tithes and their fetches and the Spinel Lady. Alexis being brought forward, their powers stripped. Temperance putting herself out as Beel took a step, only for Shiloh to stop him. Lady crying. Ezra's vague expression. A mess.

"Just give me five more minutes..." He murmured against Jamie, content to continue breathing. "I don't wanna go back in yet." Is it okay to get lost in you for a bit?

saedusk

 

[saedusk]

"It's cherry. Your nose is too good," Jamie said with a soft, clear laugh. "I thought by now I would've chewed it all off. Been a little nervous." Not that it would be easy to tell now, not when he was relaxed against Shiloh, eyes heavy-lidded and nearly shut. He felt this comfortable with no one else.

I love you, too... It was genuine, warm with affection in their headspace. They both knew they loved one another, but Shiloh knew better than anyone that Jamie craved that reminder. It fulfilled him, made him feel more comfortable in his own skin.

"Sitting back to back..." he repeated, "Why not?" They'd been on their best behavior the whole meeting, after all. If Silk got upset, well, it couldn't be any worse a debacle than the one Shiloh showed him next. "You weren't able to get a whole lot done, huh? I know what you mean. I don't like the Lady, but starting fights with someone like her is too dangerous without a plan, especially when people are trying to accomplish something."

With a small sigh, Jamie shook his head. "It's in the past now, I guess. We're moving forward."

Moving forward meant going back to the meeting, but five more minutes didn't seem like such an awful inconvenience that Jamie couldn't spend it with Shiloh. Five more minutes, he agreed and, as if his words were a breath of fresh air through an open window, his mind opened completely. A gentle, caressing breeze reached out and brushed against Shiloh, Jamie attempting to pull him in. Five minutes would go fast, but it was absolutely worth it.

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

"Nah," Shiloh said innocently, "I just recognize it 'cause you've used it before." Fruity scents on Jamie were about as commonplace as Shiloh smelling like rain.

At least Jamie was agreeing with him. Five minutes wouldn't hurt, taking a load off wouldn't hurt. He clutched the folio earnestly to his chest before losing his mind to the wonders of their mental bond, the charter a distant memory in the grand scheme of things. The depths of Jamie's mind were sometimes anxious and scattered, but at times like this it just felt like home. Innocuous was a good word, with the way things were so naive and gentle and innocent. It was like sitting on a park swing in the spring, but that was a hard sensation to put into words.

And they'd go back eventually, but for now the moment of respite was sweet.

saedusk

fin? o: