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Blue eyes rimmed in red watched as Ms Marni stood up wordlessly and walked around her desk and dropped to his level to pat away Declan's tears. She thanked him for sharing everything with her and that he'd clearly been doing a lot of thinking about this. If only she knew the half of it. He'd been trying to plan out this conversation for days but he hadn't even known how to start it and he certainly hadn't expected all of that to fall out the way it had. He hadn't expected the tears either. When Ms Marni took his hands in hers, it drew him back to the reality that they were having this conversation now. He blinked away some more tears. She told him she wanted him to indulge his ideas. Nodding, Declan closed his eyes and did what she instructed. She said to imagine himself wearing a pretty dress and Declan immediately thought of a beautiful sundress he'd seen on the cover of a magazine he'd seen at a vendor in King's Cross station on his way to Platform 9 ¾. He imagined his hair done up in a fancy braided hairdo. Makeup as well, something to make his blue eyes really stand out. She said he could even include jewelry as well and he mentally added a necklace with a pretty blue aquamarine gemstone in it. Ms Marni said to include himself with "the girls" and Declan immediately thought of Ella and Linsey and Everly. He was supposed to imagine himself as a girl as well, just talking with them and sharing tips and such. More silent tears streamed down his cheeks, but these were because that thought... that idea right there was how he wanted to be! How he needed to be!! Jesus Christ, he needed that. But... but it was a pipe dream, wasn't it? It was something that could never be. Ms Marni asked if that made him feel more at peace. Declan opened his eyes and wiped away the tears. "It... it does... but it can never be... Right?" He sniffled, on the verge of breaking into sobs again. He wanted that so badly but it was something that could never be.... Right???

Declan seemed to think that their vision that Ms Marni generated for them was never going to be possible, but the healer clearly stated that they were wrong and it was possible. She said that they had some options, especially because Declan's puberty hadn't fully kicked in yet. That put some hope into Declan's heart and dispelled some of their downtrodden feelings. Ms Marni said she wanted to talk about what was going on, then she described Declan as transgender. As a transgender woman, to be specific. Declan wanted to know more and logged the phrase for future research. The beautiful soul comment did bring a small smile back to Declan's face. The blonde continued to listen to Ms Marni's explanation. She said that the first step was to let their safe people know and Declan immediately thought of Seb and Mrs Nora, Ella and Tàmhas, Uncle Seamus and Luna, Vesna, Liv, Everly.... Ms Marni said that sometimes parents weren't the best to come out to and Declan definitely agreed with that. He was terrified of them finding out. All that was called Declan's 'social transition'. It also included changing pronouns. Gosh, Declan had to think about what they wanted to go by... All this was so overwhelming and yet, Declan knew they had the support to cover them through it. As soon as he told Mrs Nora he was certain the woman was going to apparate to the school. Deck didn't want to make her go out of her way to visit them but Deck knew she would undoubtedly come... Declan would have to figure out the pronoun issue themself... The healer continued, laying out the physical part of the transition and that was the part that concerned Declan the most. She said that they could stop the male puberty from happening with a medication aptly called a "puberty blocker". Declan could then determine if they wanted to go through male puberty, female puberty, or even a surgical option to correct their body. Medications would have to go through their parents and Declan knew that they would never agree to allow it. That caused Declan to frown, but Ms Marni said that she was going to handle that part and that they shouldn't worry about it at all. Declan nodded and swallowed hard at the lump in their throat. "I.... Thank you." Fresh tears welled up in Declan's eyes, but these ones were more happy tears than anything. The teen leaned forward and wrapped their arms around Ms Marni. Declan sobbed again, but this time it was happy tears, glad that they finally had an answer. Glad that they had didn't have to live a lie anymore. Happy that this feeling of not belonging in their skin could be dispelled.

Having always been told Declan was mature than other people their age, it didn't come as a surprise to anyone that they were handling this with the poise of someone older. Deck nodded and listened as Ms Marni explained some of the other potential changes, such as moving Declan out of the boys' dorm. That idea made Declan smile a little. He always felt out of place there because he preferred to be cleaner and even smell cleaner than most of the other boys in the dorm. There were a few exceptions, but most of them just didn't care nearly as much. She also went over the legal ramifications of changing Deck's name... a thought that hadn't occurred to them yet, but was already starting to put ideas into their brain. Finally, Ms Marni asked if Declan has any questions, then mentioned the books she had that could help. After wiping any remaining tears from their eyes, Declan shifted a little, then said, "I think I'd just like to read whatever you have on the subject. I want to know everything there is to know. And I have a lot of planning to do." Their blue eyes seemed to be more lit up then they had when Declan first arrived at Ms Marni's office and a weight that had been sitting like a boulder on Declan's chest had finally lifted off.

For most people when they say 'Ooh reading, they mean it sarcastically but Declan meant it earnestly. The teen smiled at the books and remarked, "Ooh! Reading!" Ms Marni also wrote them a list for them to bring to Mrs Tamra in the Library, something the teen would do after consuming all the knowledge in the books provided to them by Ms Marni. But first, Declan had to pen a letter to Mrs Nora and send it off with Skye, their faithful owl. "Thank you so much Ms Marni. You don't know what this means to me." The sparkle in their blue eyes had returned and for the first time in a very long time, Declan felt like a weight had lifted off their chest. It would take some time for the full implications of being transgender would set in to Declan's mind, but at least they had a plan going forward. First, write to Mrs Nora, then read up everything they could. Tell Seb and Ella and his other close friends. Write to Uncle Seamus... Declan was sure that Uncle Seamus wouldn't care. Him and Aunt Erin weren't at all religious and were so much different than Declan's parents... Pocketing the list Ms Marni had provided, Declan gathered the books into their arms, then hustled out of her office after once again thanking her and bidding her farewell.