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 Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2023 11:53 pm
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Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2023 9:09 am
Monday March 25th
Day 533
1year 5months 17days
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Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2023 9:37 am
 
tab tab ooc: Stryker's last post
tab tab outfit: sneakers, jeans. t-shirt, hoodie, also eyepatch as forever.
tab tab posting colour: #D19FE8
He wasn't sure why, but the moment she opened the door, something had seemed to be bringing her down - it was so brief he barely noticed as she gleamed at him, smiling brightly in contrast to the dark expression on her face for that fraction of a second. She did say had something heavy to discuss. He hoped there was something he could help her with, he wouldn't want her time to be spent in futile searches if it was a pressing matter.
"Of course." He noted, smiling as they locked up and began their evening trek - hopefully towards salvation for Stryker. "No adventure can be had unless you view each step as an opportunity. You don't even need a goal, just a means for movement and you'll find your adventure. The only requirement is an open mind." He wanted to ask her right then and there, but perhaps it would be more courteous of him to at least buy a dinner before anything else. "How does your hunger fare this evening? Famished? Peckish? We could try the Mickey C's place, I've heard strange compliments about the service of this place. Like fast food delivery. Makes me curious." He continued, making sure awkwardness wasn't about to take up precious time between them. "Perhaps our stroll there will work up more of an appetite or, by Mydame's recommendation, we could find another establishment to grace with our presence?"
A distraction for her would serve for now. He would have to show patience and let her tell when she was ready - though he would periodically turn his head to look at her, just to make sure worry wasn't weighing her down as they walked arm in arm.
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Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2023 4:24 pm
0..3 C..Odename S..Tryker ╰☆ Stryker's ears perked and tilted towards him as he spoke, a gentle sigh of adoration came from her as she looked up through her pale lashes at him. He certainly had a way of looking at things and a way with words. She couldn't help but wish she had met him sooner in life, maybe she wouldn't have struggled so much after the experimentation had finished and she had escaped. "Well, I think I can work with that then." She looked down at her feet then let her ears flick a bit, her grin goofy and lopsided as she looked ahead of them, her arm giving his a little squeeze.
At his question about food, she brough her free hand up to her chin and tapped a pointed nail to her bottom lip lightly in thought. She could certainly eat, and eating was likely better than not considering her situation. Plus she'd been keeping food down better recently, so she didn't have to embarrass herself by accidently throwing it all back up. "I could definitely eat. And if you have not yet been to Mickey C's, it seems like an easy and simple meal which will be nice." Though she appeared calm and cheerful even, there was still an underlying weight on her shoulders and mind, she had already decided after they ate, on the way back to her place, she would hand him the pregnancy test. She'd have to. She needed too. Her hand twitched at her side, wanting to reach into her bag and thrust it at him now. Would the be easier? To just get it over with? "What do you think about children?" The question tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop it and she nearly slapped her free hand over her mouth. Clearing her throat, she glanced up at him anxiously, wondering if her very out of the blue question gave anything away. ☆╮
[☂: Mood][ Anxious/Happy ] [☀: Location][ Out and about ][☁: I'm With][ Za'saad ][☄: Thoughts][ ... ][O.O.C.][ ]
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Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2023 5:23 pm
tab tab ooc: Stryker's last post
tab tab outfit: sneakers, jeans. t-shirt, hoodie, also eyepatch as forever.
tab tab posting colour: #D19FE8
He could feel her inner turmoil on the way she clung to his arm. One moment she was tense and contemplating, their steps out of sync, and her gaze as shifty as her cute ears. But then she had moments where nothing in this world seemed to bother her, her smile so genuine and her energy pulling him forward into the night in their search for whichever adventure awaited them. Za’saad had his head turned to look at her, smiling at her, reveling in the fact that his presence seemed to have some soothing effect on her. Perhaps that was why her out-of-the-blue question didn’t seem to bother him or even trigger any suspicion on his part. The question in and of itself was quite innocent and without context it was nothing more than that - he had no reason to ponder its timing.
As for his answer, he let his gaze slip away from her and up into the sky, a soft hum leaving his lips while he gave it a few seconds to roll around in his mind. “I quite adore the little devils. Their wonder and fantasy is something we adults often take for granted. We tend to lose that spark of colour as we grow and see the real world for what it is, while children live the world they wish to. Of course, not everyone fits one box, but generally speaking.” He wanted children - he always did. But he couldn’t quite know if it was his upbringing speaking or his own personal desires - perhaps there wasn’t really any difference in the end.
“How about you, Mydame; what do you think of children?” He returned the question more casually than he had been asked, turning his gaze back to her with a smile.
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Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2023 8:49 pm
0..3 C..Odename S..Tryker ╰☆ Relief flooded her as it seemed Za'saad had no inkling of ulterior reasons for her asking such a question, really, it seemed just like normal conversation to him, which struck her as odd, but maybe it was just how he was. But there was a minor twinge of anxiety as it seemed to take him a moment to answer, but as he did, Stryker felt her lips pull upwards in a wide and relieved smile. She wasn't sure if he wanted his own, or if he just liked kids in general, but this was better than not liking kids period. This she could work with. They weren't a couple and it was something she couldn't even fathom for herself, or to tie him to her simply because of a child, but if he wanted to take part in the child's life, she would be happy to allow that. As he returned the question to her, she thought for a moment herself, her hand going to her stomach and drumming on it in thought, but almost lovingly.
"I did not think I was capable of having kids anymore. So the idea of whether or not I liked kids was not something I thought about all too much. But now that I am thinking about it, I believe as long as I don't scare them too badly with my appearance, then yes. I think I like kids." Giving him an apologetic smile, it was a bit of a long winded answer on her end, but she didn't have much experience to go off of. Any experience she had with kids before the experimentation was lost in her memory that no longer existed, and any experience she had after, well...They were usually terrified and running away, so she tended to avoid children as much as possible. And it wasn't like she could blame them for their fear. She was not something natural and the scars lead one's imagination wild. There were few kids who were more curious or enchanted with her ears and white hair, but it wasn't frequent enough to out weigh the fear. "So would you want to be a father one day? I've heard parenting is quite a tough thing to do." Speaking casually now, she leaned her head on his shoulder a bit as they walked, seeming to become a bit more comfortable with this topic. ☆╮
[☂: Mood][ Anxious/Happy ] [☀: Location][ Out and about ][☁: I'm With][ Za'saad ][☄: Thoughts][ ... ][O.O.C.][ ]
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Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2023 11:14 pm
tab tab ooc: Stryker's last post
tab tab outfit: sneakers, jeans. t-shirt, hoodie, also eyepatch as forever.
tab tab posting colour: #D19FE8
Za’saad looked ahead while she made her answer - even if it was slightly roundabout, but it was nice conversing and learning more about her as they trod towards their destination. What struck him the most seemed to be her lack of confidence. Thinking about it, he let her continue with the next question without interrupting, allowing her thoughts to run naturally and continuing the light, though meaningful chat between them. “I’m no stranger to scars or dismemberment. Perhaps - if you don’t mind me speaking out of term - it’s your own perception that affects how others act around you. I’ve yet to experience people veering in my presence simply because of my visible imperfections. To me, every scar is a badge of honor, a testament to survival and overcoming, a beauty to behold. You are far prettier than you give yourself credit for.” Smiling softly as he stared ahead, he let it sink in between them, wondering if something as simple as that would even help her on a road to recovery. He was sure he could soothe her self-hatred somewhat, but he wasn’t sure he could truly help her overcome it. Perhaps a mental specialist was needed for this, he had heard of the wonders of these people - likely a magical intrusion of the mind or alteration. He had no idea.
“As for fatherhood, that seems to elude me. I’ve long wanted offspring, however, recent years have forced me to re-evaluate my situation and come to terms with the fact I may not experience every joy life has to offer. I’m turning thirty any day now, an old man with an older soul, fractured from a life of experiences - body and heart. It’s been so long since I lost my own father I wouldn’t even know where to begin with being one myself.” There were more conflicts within his heart regarding this. He recently lost Stefan, his heart still recovering, and his wife before then - he wasn’t even sure if he should be pursuing such frivolities at this point. Companionships were one thing, but serious relationships were another… Perhaps he could learn to love once more given the chance, but he wasn’t quite sure either. If he sat down and bound himself to another being again, would he even get what he wanted this time around?
“And you, Ms. Stryker. Do you yearn for children?” It was quite the intriguing thing to learn about people in this world. He had met those who didn’t have these desires and it went against his own being to the point he almost couldn’t accept it - but as time passed he learnt that so many different people existed with even a wider range of life goals.
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Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2023 1:23 pm
0..3 C..Odename S..Tryker ╰☆ As he answered her, Stryker looked over at Za'saad, feeling badly for her own pity party about her appearance while he was literally missing an arm and had to wear an eye patch. But weirdly, he was all the more attractive for it and she didn't know if it was because he was just naturally good looking or if it was the simple charm he managed to elude at all times. It also helped that he simply didn't look off putting, like a monster, but he certainly hadn't escaped fate without his fair share of scars. His comment about her being prettier than she gives herself credit for made a blush stain her pale cheeks as her ears flattened shyly against her head, turning away a bit so it would be harder for him to see it. "Thank you Za'saad, I appreciate you saying that. Maybe you're right. Maybe it is as simple as that." Her voice was gentle and thoughtful as she mused about his words. Maybe if she didn't simply think herself a monster, or that she looked like a monster, maybe, just maybe others wouldn't think she was either. She'd somehow managed to charm this man enough to become pregnant, so it couldn't all be wrong.
Ears perking as he answered her question about being a father, Stryker smirked a bit and gave his arm another small squeeze, but her mood seemed to be lightening a bit the more they spoke about kids and what they wanted. But she did feel badly that he seemed to have his own past troubles. "Frankly, I think you would make a good father, so don't rule it out so quickly." Giving a soft hum of thought again, her hand hesitated at her bag, ready to pull the pregnancy test out, but she left it be. "I am not sure. I don't know if I would be a fit mother as I have many things from my past that seek me out in a none too kind way, but if I was given the chance, I would take it." Trying not to be blatantly obvious about the fact that she is indeed pregnant was difficult, but she had a feeling he was none the wiser on why she was asking such questions, so she felt herself relax a bit more. This walk was turning out better than she had originally expected, having imagined she would be too nervous and wracked with worry to eat or even hold a proper conversation, but things seemed smooth. Though she was still a bit tense underneath, it seemed minor to how it was earlier. "So we decided on Mickey C's, yes?" The conversation had distracted her and they were coming up to a point of which direction they took would lead them towards it, or away if they so chose to do something else. ☆╮
[☂: Mood][ Anxious/Happy ] [☀: Location][ Out and about ][☁: I'm With][ Za'saad ][☄: Thoughts][ ... ][O.O.C.][ ]
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Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2023 5:15 pm
tab tab ooc: Stryker's last post
tab tab outfit: sneakers, jeans. t-shirt, hoodie, also eyepatch as forever.
tab tab posting colour: #D19FE8
“Perhaps starting your day by giving yourself a compliment, no matter how small, you’ll start to love more things about yourself.” Most things were a matter of perspective and it seemed Stryker needed an opposing one to even begin seeing herself in a new light. If he could help her, he would, and perhaps he just did. It wasn’t entirely clear if she was ready to face herself, figuratively and literally, but he would have to let her come to him with inquiries if she truly wanted his opinion or support. He had offered it now, the rest was up to her. He gave her a glance and a smile as her face heated up under the streetlights.
As for children, perhaps they were both unnecessarily insecure about things. She more or less mirrored his concerns for whether or not she’d be an unfit parent - their reasons were different, yet same result. She worried about past ghosts haunting her life. He worried about fate and destiny. Perhaps it just wasn’t in his stars to become a father, just as it hadn’t been to have a wife who cherished him as much as he cherished her. “If your past comes to pick a fight, I’m only a few doors away.” Again, it wasn’t his problem to deal with and he shouldn’t help her without her consent or desire for aid, so all he could do was wait and see if she chose to ask for him.
“Yes, Mickey's C. Strange name for an eatery, but who am I to judge a place in such a way? You know, I once visited a place called the Dancing Dervish, located at the edge of a sandy desert. I wondered what such a shabby, rundown, dusty place had to offer, but it seemed the desert itself was a cornucopia, if you knew what to look for. It was the first time I encountered strong spices. It took me a few weeks to truly appreciate what it had to offer, especially after I nearly choked to death on a scorpion’s tail the first night there.” He explained, galing about olden tales of a past life with a little shimmer of bittersweetness in his eye. He both missed and hated those days of his life, but he chose to view it all as an experience - sometimes deadly ones, but he came out smarter on the other end. “It wasn’t my favourite place in the world, but it did engrave itself in my memory for how unique it was to my own culture. Do you have a favourite place, Mydame?”
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Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2023 5:48 pm
0..3 C..Odename S..Tryker ╰☆ Again, a soft and musing hum came from the back of Stryker's throat as she thought about how she could compliment herself each day. Maybe she could start simple. Whenever she had a healthy meal, or slept without having a nightmare or episode. Her control had been particularly good over the fox as of late, since it seemed more protective of the child growing within her than anything. It also seemed to be rather fond of Za'saad, so it was a relief that it wasn't something she had to fight with on top of everything else. "You are a wonderful person Za'saad." The thought blurted out of her lips and she chuckled shyly at her own outburst, but didn't apologize for it. It was simply the truth and she was glad in the end that she had spoken it.
Looking up at him as he seemed to be offering to assist if her past was to come here, her eyes widened a bit, surprised someone who had no fight with those who sought her out, would offer their assistance. "It is not your fight, and it would be dangerous...But if you're still okay with it, I would happily take the assistance." Looking a little sheepish as she pushed her hair from her face with her free hand, she bit on one of her long, claw like fingernails a moment before pointing in the direction they needed to head in. "This way." Her voice was quiet as she moved them in the right direction.
Listening intently as he told her the story of the Dancing Dervish, and she couldn't help but laugh lightly. The desert could be harsh and unforgiving, but he was right, it had so much to offer. She had spent some time in a desert area before while on missions, it hadn't been overly appealing to her, but the people and culture had interested her greatly. Reaching down and giving his hand a squeeze, expressing some unspoken emotion before she thought about his question. If she had a favorite place. "I have also visited a desert community before. The environment is not my favorite, but the people and culture is quite captivating." Voicing her earlier thoughts, she took another moment to think it over. "But I think my favorite place was when we were running missions high in the mountains. Forests and humidity. Bugs the size of small dogs." She waved a hand expressively, her eyes lighting up a bit as she recalled the place. "But the animals. They were clever, real. They seemed to understand more than what people think. And the people who reside there have such a respect for the world and land. Their food all grown from the ground they work every day. Every life taken is never taken lightly and without thanks. It is beautiful." Her own voice grew quieter and she felt the same bittersweet emotion he had felt. She had loved her time there, but what she was doing there left her mouth dry and tasting of copper. Like the blood she could never wash from her hands. Her ears laid back flat at the memory of the darker part of her past, but not far in the distance, she saw the building they had been walking to this whole time. "Looks like we'll be at our destination shortly." Trying to make her voice a bit more chipper, she looked back up at her companion, wishing she knew how to express to him the fact that she was here for him if he ever need anything as well. But how could she say it without it sounding like she was simply saying it out of obligation? A light sigh escaped her lips, feeling defeated over that. ☆╮
[☂: Mood][ Anxious/Happy ] [☀: Location][ Out and about ][☁: I'm With][ Za'saad ][☄: Thoughts][ ... ][O.O.C.][ ]
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