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I wish I could stay here forever...” I spoke out loud, no longer afraid of what everyone else around me had to say about it. A smile spread across my face and I suddenly had a desire for it to rain... And rain it did. It needed not clouds or any scientific cause. Rain began pouring down in generous drops. I scrambled to my feet and laughed happily as I tried to catch the rain on my tongue. To my luck one softly hit the top of my lips and slowly dripped down to my awaiting tongue. I licked it up as quickly as I could. My eyes widened in delight at the unusual taste of the liquid.
“Nectar. The drink of a Goddess,” a voice spoke up from among the small crowd of my self-made adoring fans. At once I was envious of this creatures’ beauty the moment she had caught my attention. This being had long ruby red hair that seemed to fit perfectly against the color of her ivory skin and equally crimson eyes... I was in awe. Every bit of her was perfection. One thing I still noticed, despite this world of imaginative beauty, is that I was still plain. My small round tummy still remained, my unmanageable brown hair was still sticking up, and my eyes were a loveless gray. “My name is Adara. Forgive me for startling you, your holiness, but I came to warn you.”
“Warn me? Of what?” I instantly forgot the comparison I was making as she grasped my hands. Her eyes held mine fast to her.
“They are going to destroy Your World and all your attachment to it, Breena!” Adara’s beautiful face stared up at me with sorrow, a quiver in her melody of a voice. “But we can stop them! If you succeed, this World will be permanent and you can become like us.” She turned slightly and waved her hand out slowly to a group of girls our age, equal to the marvelous beauty that Adara possessed. I gaped, my mouth hanging open, my eyes slowly turning towards Adara... I needed to be like them. I didn’t want to be plain and ugly Breena. I wanted to look like the Goddess they were calling me. I’d prevent the destruction of my personal Nirvana.
“What do I need to do?” there was no hesitation in my voice as I spoke up. My eyes were narrowed with determination and I think I had stood up to prove my point. Even though I wasn’t sure what point I was trying to make.
“Destroy them all and then offer up to your world your blood, body, and soul. They will not be able to reach any of us then. Now go, your Alarm Clock is going to ring any moment. Do it at school...”
“But-“
”Go!”
BBBBRRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!
I jerked up out of my sleep and whimpered a little. I was back in the world known as Reality. I didn’t want to be in this chaotic place. I wanted to be in my World again. I detested this place and all that came with it. It was harsh and unloving. The cruel were gifted with beauty and talent, the good were unjustly repulsive and ungifted. But I’d put an end to that. I shut off the alarm that continued to scream for me to wake. I slowly pushed back the blankets on my tiny bed and got to my feet. I knew just what to do and how to do it. I wouldn’t let them make me normal! Not when I had so much to offer for that other World.
It took me no time at all to get dressed and ready for school. I even had time to ‘greet’ my parents before I left to the battle field. I took the usual route to school... I walked by the unnamed cemetery, grabbed a small donut from the Danny’s Donut Shop, and a coffee from the EZ Mart across the road. Adara was with me all this time... I could hear her voice in the back of my head and I often responded back. This earned me weird glances from my peers, but this wasn’t new to me. I knew I would eliminate them and their dirty looks soon enough. I just needed to wait for the right time and the right place. So I went through the first three periods of school and acted normal. I nodded my head, took notes, and answered questions. I was waiting for lunch time when I could strike.
Eventually the bell rang and I stood up robotically, carrying my bag in hand. It was time. I felt an odd nervous sensation pool at my stomach and I feared that I was not going to be able to go through with our plan. But Adara would not let me give up. She would listen to none of my pleading.
“Adara? I’m afraid... What if I don’t do it right?”
“Shhh, it’s alright Breena. I’ll help you do this... We won’t let them win. We will have our Nirvana.”
“Maybe we could find some other way....”
“There is no other way, Breena. We must do this! Do you want to be the fat pig that they always call you? Do you want to grow up only to be raped by a man and bear his children that will also be ungrateful?”
“No.... I’ll do this. Help me...”
“Do not worry... I will help you... It won’t take long. I promise.”
It is said that a man’s life can be measured by the dreams he fulfills... So what if I could make a dream a reality? What would my life measure? Would I finally be loved? Yes... Of course I would! This was the right thing to do. I was just trying to help myself. And besides they all deserved their fate. They were born to perfection. I had to fight for it. It was time.
I walked out into the middle of the cafeteria and climbed up onto a table. Almost everyone’s eyes were on me... Good. I reached my hand into the leather bag and slowly pulled out my father’s gun. I saw their eyes go wide... their screams leave their mouths.... But it was too late. I aimed and took fire at everyone I saw. Some escaped, many did not. By the time I had felt my sacrifice was done I dropped the empty gun onto one of the many dead bodies. Blood filled the cafeteria like the shallow water of a lake. They had given me their destruction. I had to now seal the world with my own blood. I took out a large butcher knife and examined it curiously for a moment, tapping it against my palm.
“You’re almost done, Breena.... Do it... DO IT!”
I brought the blade against my bobbing throat and in one swift motion, slit it. The blood spilled out and into my lungs. I screamed and fell onto the table. I clutched the open wound as I slowly began to drown in my blood. I could hear my heart beat slowing down and slowly everything began to fade out.
“You did it Breena.... You did it! You can join us! Just look at yourself!” Adara was there to meet me in my own Nirvana and I smiled brightly, anticipating my beautiful features. She lead me to a pool of the rain I had summoned earlier and what I saw was not what I had expected. I was hideous! A monstrosity! My skin was wrinkled and looked as if it were diseased. I looked up in horror at the others. They too were the same disgusting creatures... This was not what I was promised.
“No... NO!” I began sobbing violently as the light inside the Nirvana began to disappear. I ran towards it, desperate for the warmth I held before all of this. But their hands grasped me and dragged me back into the world where I could not escape.... I had done as I was asked and my gift was everlasting death...
Several Years Later
“W-who are you?” whimpered the young girl as she ogled the tall beauty, her eyes as wide as saucers.
“My name is Breena. Forgive me for startling you, Your Holiness. But I came to warn you.”
“Warn me? Of what?” I instantly forgot the comparison I was making as she grasped me by the hands. Her eyes held me fast to her.
“They are going to destroy Your World and all your attachment to it, Susan. But we can stop them...”
“How?!”
A grin slid onto Breena’s lips in a twisted and crooked manner as she spoke. What a fool... How could a human be so stupid just like she had been. “Destroy them.”
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