A Collection of Poetry-Written by me. Please Critique

[Pomnuria]

I'll number the poems so, please number your critiques according to which poem you're critiquing. Thanks!
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1. War

Women and children
Innocent done nothing wrong
Killed for that reason

2. In it for the Oil

Women and children
walk down the street
veils on their heads
shoes on their feet

Afraid of what might happen
fear is on their faces
bombs are falling everywhere
in tons of different places

At home in America
we let our kids go play
we don't care what happens to them
tomorrow or today

And the country that started this war
this frightening toil
was only in it to gain
in it for the oil

3. Elements

Rocks, they can be jagged
Usually very sharp
Water’s always flowing
Like the music of a harp

Fire destroys all things in it’s path
With temperatures very hot
Wood is very strong
Stronger than a knot

Earth is the ground we walk on
Home to the trees
Metal is strong but
When heated moves with ease

The air and clouds are in the sky
Protecting us from the sun
The sun is up there with those clouds
Shining down on everyone

4.Love is...

Love is a river
Always flowing; never stops
Unless plugged by hate

5. Why Oh Why

You broke my heart
But why oh why
Why the hell
Did you make me cry

I know that we’re through
It didn’t work out
But why oh why
Did you scream and shout

I know we don’t feel
The same you don’t feel how
I feel but why oh why
Did you make a big deal

6. My Dear Love

My dear love
So very true
My dear love
You are through and through

My dear love
‘Twas me you did woo
My dear love
My heart willed to you

7. The Ballad of Leila

There once was a girl named Leila
With blue eyes tinted green
This was no ordinary Indian girl
She sought out new worlds unseen

This girl, Leila was very rich
She was very well dressed
Her hair was always perfect
Her room never messed

Leila was very curious
She had never been poor
So when she heard about a ship to America
And people being poor she stepped out the door

Her family disagreed
They told her “Please Stay”
But she ignored their words of wisdom
And she went on her way

Life on the ship was very hard
For Leila almost unbearable
The food sucked; the crew was rude
And all the nights were tearable

Eight months past
A second before
They wanted to give up
But they sighted shore

This new world was weird
Something Leila had never seen before
Her mind went wild
As she stepped up on the shore

The people of the new world were nice
Even when Leila was stressed
Leila couldn’t stop herself from saying
"God has made me blessed"

Leila liked the new world
So she thought to herself and said
I think I might live here
Till the day that I’m dead

She followed her word
And this she did do
Leila lived in America
Till the old age of eighty-two  

[Kristoya]

Good poetry needs two things:
Meaning and flow.

I think you have the meaning part down pretty well. Your poems are all expressions of your emotions and it's obvious how you feel when you write them.

The flowing part, you need to work on. (I may sound like a b***h when I say this but...)
Sure, they rhyme and everything, but poetry needs a lot more than just a rhyme scheme to flow. Now, free verse is a whole nother story, but since most of your poetry rhymes, I think you should try to incorporate more into the verses. Word choice and things like alliteration or oh-god-I-forget-the-word-for-it-but-it's-when-there-are-rhymes-within-two-different-line-along-with-the-regular-rhyme-at-the-end.  

[Shaynadorf]

I thought you're poems were pretty good.
They had a lot of meaning to them...
BUT

This poem:
"Women and children
Innocent done nothing wrong
Killed for that reason"

While it is a good thought, I've seen this general idea a lot (because it's an issue).

Also, in this:
"At home in America
we let our kids go play
we don't care what happens to them
tomorrow or today"

Is it that we don't care? Or just that we don't think about the possibility that something could happen?

And here:
"Fire destroys all things in it’s path
With temperatures very hot
Wood is very strong
Stronger than a knot"

I felt like the rhyme of hot and knot was a forced rhyme.


But really. You're a very talented writer.  

[MyOwnBestCritic]

The one thing that I am compelled to point out is that traditional haiku, along with the 5-7-5 meter, always deal with two things; nature and impermanance. While you certainly have the latter, I haven't seen the former.

Sure, the flows are a bit off, but I love them just the same smile