"Who" versus "Whom"

[Keakealani]

This is one argument that I never win - I know basically that if the question should be answered with "him" then "whom" is appropriate (and "he" with "who", accordingly), but it seems that I always mistake the use of each - does anyone have any tricks to remember the correct word?  

[Ame Yuki Kaze]

It depends on what you're saying.

"To whom am I speaking?"

"Who is he?"

"You're going out with whom?"

Those are all correct sentences. As for "he" and "him", can you give me an example of the sentences you're attempting to use?  

[Keakealani]

I don't have any at the moment, but it's just something I've always been confused by. For example, I know "to whome are you speaking" is correct, but would "who are you speaking to" also be correct, or ought it be "whom are you speaking to"? It's things like that that seem to always throw me off.  

[georgette_x]

I always mess up on that! I think you use who were you would use he, and whom when you use something different? Is that right?  

[dark_elf]

Yami no Hitokiri

It depends on what you're saying.

"To whom am I speaking?"

"Who is he?"

"You're going out with whom?"

Those are all correct sentences. As for "he" and "him", can you give me an example of the sentences you're attempting to use?

I think its like this. Or could it be a preferance thing, like its the same word only some people say it a little different? (nah, thats way off)  

[Keakealani]

Well, no...I know there's a grammatical difference, even if people don't use it in common speech. At the moment, though, I've just been kind of doing it by how it "sounds" and I was wondering if anyone has a good "rule" or trick to remember which word to use.  

[dianersj]

isn't 'whom' usually used in sentences like

" to whom is asking?"
" to whom am i speaking with"
" to whom it may concern"

i don't think it's ever wrong to use ' who' instead of 'whom' in a conversation though. I highly doubt anyone would expect you to say 'whom.'  

[Keakealani]

I guess the problem right now is the relatipnship between who/whom and the preposition - almost everyone is telling me what I already know, that is, when to put "whom" when the preposition is embedded. What I'm trying to ask is when to use "whom" (or conversely "who") when the preposition isn't embedded...sorry if I'm not being clear, but this is a grammar guild, after all...

Edit:
and actually, "to who am I speaking with" is incorrect anyway, since you should never have "to" and "with" modifying the same noun - either say "with whom and I speaking" or "to whom I am speaking", purely on context and formality.

I'm loath to believe you, is all.  

[Ramda]

Who is used in sentences when one is asking a third person about someone else basically.

~ "Who did this?"

Whom is used if one is telling a thrid person about someone else, basically.

~"Bob, whom did this, also did that."
Or whatever good sentence you can think of.  

[Ramda]

Ramda

Who is used in sentences when one is asking a third person about someone else basically.

~ "Who did this?"

Whom is used if one is telling a thrid person about someone else, basically.

~"Bob, whom did this, also did that."
Or whatever good sentence you can think of.

Also, for information besides just what I remember from last year's English class, visit Wikipedia.

Rules for determining who vs. whom in traditional usage
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whom
(Scroll down the page a bit)  

[Ramda]

Sorry, I am like the wikipedia quoting nazi today. sweatdrop  

[Keakealani]

No, that's awesome, thanks so much! I didn't even think to consult Wikipedia, despite the fact that I spend half my day on it every day...  

[Dead Twisted Romance]

Whom is used directly. Who is for someone you don't know about. ( sweatdrop I am not too sure, sorry if I am incorrect)  

[Keakealani]

Honestly, I'm pretty dead sure that's incorrect, especially considering the reponses previous. Shame, shame, a 'literate' guild member who doesn't read confused  

[[Riyuu]]

I didn't even know there was a specific time to use 'whom'.
I just use it when it sounds right to me.