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Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2006 12:54 pm
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Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2006 4:19 pm
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-Resurrected Writer- Crew
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Posted: Sat Sep 30, 2006 2:50 am
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Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 9:40 am
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Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 10:18 am
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Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 4:18 pm
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Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 4:25 pm
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Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 10:08 pm
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Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 5:48 pm
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Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:47 pm
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Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 8:05 pm
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Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 11:38 pm
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Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 4:38 am
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so basically, why am I the way I am?
WELL...I have always been a child that was a candidate for gothiness: I was an opinionated, creative child who loved to delve into all forms of art, visual, writen, musical etc. I often found I had different opinions than everyone, I spent a lot of time alone, just thinking. I always wondered why everyone's opinions were the same. I often found beauty where others couldn't, and disgust for things that didn't bother them.
But alas, social pressure was too much for my weak child's mind. Athough I knew I was different, I also wanted to be liked. And so I conformed.
I remember one outfit I had in middle school that was quite dark and I loved it. And one of my friends said to me: "that makes you look like a goth!" "Maybe I am one!....Just joking!" I said, and then we laughed about it. I wasn't sure why I was laughing. I had no idea what a goth was. I had never come across one before.
Because of my L33T conforming skills, I was liked well enough. But I still felt like I was the odd one out. I knew that deep down I never was like the other girls my age. And I was completely miserable. Then I met my first goth.
I met thomas at a christian camp the summer before last. I saw him around the camp ground, didn't pay any attention to him. And then he introduced himself to me and we talked, and I realised: He was the first person I really truely liked, whose company I enjoyed, whose views I appreciated, and whom I respected completely. I recognized a lot of myself in him. And That was the beginning of my transformation.
I believe the biggest transformation was in the way I express my views and Show my personality. I gained a lot of self confidence because I could show who I really was and be proud of it. The physical/stylistic transformation in my eyes is less significant, and more a product of my own developing creativity than an imitation of thomas. Because I do not try to dress the same as other goths. My outfits are like artwork and I'm proud of them. But if my style of dress was taken from me, I would still be the same goth inside.
So in conclusion, I have always been a goth, I only recently realised it.
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